Do you ever wonder if you are becoming too frugal?

[Jenna]

Hi Ladies,

Recently, I have been wondering if I have gone from frugality into just plain being too cheap.

To explain a bit, my DH has recently found a job after more than 2 years of searching. The time of his unemployment was very difficult for us both financially and emotionally. I switched into "very frugal" mode and now I can't seem to stop. I continue to live like we have no money and am continuing to worry about every penny. I just can't shake the idea that unemployment is just around the corner and I have to be prepared. I know that jobs these days are not as secure as they were a number of years ago.

My DH worked for the same company for 21 years and received the most wonderful reviews, twice a year, the entire time he worked there. He was let go without cause, because the company was downsizing. I guess, I wonder when that will happen again.

I will not allow myself to buy anything right now. Even things we need and have needed for a long time.

Have you had this experience? How did you deal with it?

Thanks so much for your advise,
Jenna

[nagymom]

Jenna I know EXACTLY what you are feeling! My husband went through an unemployment period that lasted almost a year to the day. He is retired Army (20 years) so we at least had his retirment pay from there to fall back on some, not that it was anywhere near enough. Unemployment and his retirement pay kept the bills paid with few frills.

He worked for Lexington Home Brands furniture -- went to work for them when he retired. He was the HR Manager for 2 of their 16 plants. Several months before he was laid off, they started massive lay-off rounds that nearly devastated the small town of Lexington. The vast majority of the town worked there! Then one day after having the unpleasant duty of laying off, my dh was called in and told to clear his office that it was his turn. To this day I harbor bitter feelings towards them. They paid $8000 to move us there and for hiring bonus and they just threw it all away!

We have always been frugal but learned to be even more so. I thoroughly enjoyed having him home but it was SO stressful wondering if the phone was going to ring! He exhausted everything in the area so he started looking nationwide. As it turned out we stayed in state but moved 3 hours north.

He has been with his new company since June of 2002 but I still find it hard to relax completely and don't know if I ever will--at least until he retires completely. His goal is to do just that when he's 55 (in 9 years). In the meantime we still shop bargains and it is always in the back of my mind that nothing is certain.

Do try to relax and enjoy life. You will start to feel better about things. I doubt we'll ever feel 100% secure again but at least now we know we can survive!

Jayne

[Jenna]

Thank you for the support, Jayne!

I really know what you mean about having DH around. I really did enjoy that aspect of his unemployment, but there was always that nagging feeling that it was at the expense of our financial stability.

My DH was so devastated when the telephone company he worked for fired him. I think part of it was the way they approached it. They just called him into the main office one day and said they no longer needed his services and escorted him out of the building. It was humiliating to him and made him feel as though he wasn't trusted to stay even a minute longer, after 21 years of loyal service. I think that companies these days should learn how to deal more appropriately with their employees.

I feel the same way you do about never really being relaxed until DH is actually retired. He has 7 years more until he is 55 and could retire. We are hoping that this will be possible financially. We only have about 8 more months to pay until our home is completely mortgage-free! So, that should help a lot!

I am trying very hard to relax a bit. I guess, I just need some time. DH has only had this job since December 2.

Thanks you again for your insights and support, I really appreciate it.
Jenna

[nagymom]

Any time Jenna!

I hear you on the trust issue too. My husband's employer called him to the main office to tell him then before he had even gotten back to his own office they had locked him out of his computer!!! He was totally humiliated--felt like they didn't trust him. He is a strong man but that lay-off really hurt him.
At the same time it showed him what life was like at a more relaxed pace so he really looks forward to full time retirement and I do too!

Good luck--things will settle down and you will be able to breathe again--

Jayne

[Jenna]

Thanks again, Jayne!

By the way, I love your daylight savings time quote! I will always wonder about this myself!

Blessings,
Jenna