Note From Tami And Bar_bar

[ajrsmom]

NOTE FROM TAMI AND BAR_BAR

Ladies,

Thank you for helping us to make the Secret Sister Club a wonderful place to meet new friends.

When we first started this club, we were "winging" it for the first few months until, eventually, the Club developed into a wonderful meeting place.

The thought behind the club was to help create friendships from all over the world by sending letters, emails and even small tokens to get to know each other better.

Over the last 3 yrs (can you believe it?) the club has changed over and over again, with members coming and going. We created rules to try and form an even and equal month-to-month sending and receiving schedule. We love our members who have been with us from day 1 and we always look forward to each new month to meet the new members who have decided to join us.

For these reasons, it saddens me to say that it appears that our club is taking a turn for the worst. In our eyes, it is starting to look like more of a challenge of who can send the biggest snail mails or the most emails, rather than having fun really trying to get to know the person who you are sending to each month.

It is important to realize that each and every member has a family life outside of the forums. With spring upon us, many schedules will start to get hectic once again. Those who have jobs, kids in activities, vacations...whatever the reason, not everyone can send 4-5 emails daily. Many would prefer to send once really special email or ecard every
few days, than to send 4 or 5 randomly chosen cards that really don’t mean anything.

Many women join our club because they are hoping to find someone to talk to, laugh with or even share secrets with. They may or may not have the resources available to send huge or multiple gifts each month. Many times, a welcomed shoulder to cry on is more precious than any gift they can receive.

This is not to say that our members don't go the extra mile to send very special gifts! I want to reiterate that it is not necessary to spend a fortune to belong to this club. If you are in it for the gifts only, you are involved in the wrong club.

Please remember that each and every member is different. You might receive a lot of stuff one month and then the next, no so much. Try to understand that is what makes this club so special--everyone gives in their own way.

Of course, we must remember that when you sign up to become a Secret Sister, you are promising to pay attention to your Secret Sister for the WHOLE month--unless an emergency should happen. Please treat your Sisters the way that you would like to be treated. Remember, there is a very good chance that someday she will be your sending Secret Sister!


Everyone in this club is so special to both bar_bar and me. We want everyone to enjoy their time here with us.

With this being said, I am going to post a reminder of the rules. Please take a few minutes to read them over again.



Here are the Guide Lines for joining our club:

1. When you fill out the questionnaire about yourself, please go into detail about your interests, hobbies and favorite things.


2. You must send one type of email (e-card, an email letter, an e-postcard....etc) each week. Getting these little notes helps to brighten everyone's day.

PLUS

You MUST send at least one item per month, by snail mail to your Secret Sister. This can be something as simple as a post card or whatever you can dream up! Remember not to use your name on the return address envelope! We ask that you send one snail mail by the 15th of the month so that it will have time to get to your SS's house. If you have to wait until the last week of the month to send your one gift, please let us know this when you fill out the questionnaire for the club. Contact your secret sister to let her know too.

Failure to meet with the requirements for each month's exchange will result in a one month suspension. The second time will result in two month’s suspension. The third
time will result in not being allowed to participate in the Secret Sister club any longer.

Please contact Tami or bar_bar (if possible) if an unexpected event happens and you are unable to fulfill your month's requirements".

Please Note:
If your Secret Sister fails to follow the rules and communicate with you at the minimum of one ecard per week and one snail mail, she will be removed from the exchange for the following month. Do not take it into your own hands and begin bashing your Secret Sister publicly on the boards. THIS IS GROUNDS FOR REMOVAL AS WELL! Anyone who chooses to publicly humiliate their Secret Sister by stating that they haven't heard from them in the proper manner will be removed from the club the following month along with their Secret Sister. This website will not tolerate this type of behavior. The month end questionnaire is where you may list your complaints, and you may also contact Tami (ajrsmom) or Amanda (FamilyCorner) privately.


3. There is no monetary limit to what you can spend on your Sister. To be fair, I would suggest that you set the same limit to spend every month. Keep in mind, however, that it is not the size of the gift but the thought that you are reaching out to brighten someone’s day.

4. Don’t be afraid to send something unique! It is always fun to receive a one-of-a-kind gift. You can always use email to send a unique gift too….a special poem, a nice e-card or just a note to say “Hi”. Please remember that you will still need to send one snail mail
by the 15th, too.

5. Please remember to “Treat others as you would like to be treated”. You will be receiving gifts as well as sending them. Please don’t forget about your Secret Sister!

Continued next post.........

[ajrsmom]

**Very Important**

Every participating Secret Sister must send in an end-of-the-month questionnaire by
the 25th of each month. Starting now, the Reveal Thread will be open on the 25th as
well. If we do not receive a questionnaire from you by the 25th, you will not be included
in the next month’s exchange. Please understand that we are not being mean by doing this. The questionnaire is needed by that time to give us time to put together the name list
for the upcoming month. If we don’t receive the names early, there is no way that we can get the names out early the next month.

Also, this year we are asking that you include the names of the Secret Sisters who you have sent to starting in January. This will help us to make sure that we don’t match you
Up with someone you’ve already sent to this year.

For Example: April’s end-of-month questionnaire will look like this:

Jan--sally
Feb--mary
March--susie
April--did not participate

This can be written in at the bottom of every questionnaire, along with any comments that you might have.
One last plea…….. PLEASE post thank yous in the Thank You threads when you receive email or snail mails from your Secret Sister. If you are receiving ecards and notes everyday, you do not have to post a thank you for every single thing but please do
post something at least every 2-3 days so that your SS will know that you are receiving her notes to you.

At any time, if you think that there might be a problem with your Secret Sister receiving
emails from you OR if you don’t receive anything from your Secret Sister at least once a week, please let us know immediately.

The entire thread for participating in the FC Secret Sister Club: http://www.familycorner.com/forums/showthread.php3?t=12112



Thank you for participating in our club! You are very special to us. We hope to maintain a happy club. Please post your comments below or contact ajrsmom or bar_bar .


Hugs,
Tami and Bar_Bar

[Bunny]

Hi to all of you Just want you to know that I still want to be in the ss club My helth is comming back and it will every day I also want to thank Bar-Bar for the beautiful card it ment so very much to me.

[Minny]

Hi everyone!
Thanks Tami & Bar_bar for the update on the rules. I am enjoying this club more & more every day.

[DeBora4BobbyL]

Thanks!

[Bunny]

Thanks for the rules and updates its very helpful and I know I am going to enjoy it very much

[hemlynne]

Thanks, you hard-working girls.
Just one questin - there are a number of people talking about sending reveal packages. I assume this is not a necessity? As some of us live so far away we would have to send it early and then maybe be revealing before time if the mail actually got to its destination in a smart time.
Thanks in advance for clearing this up,

[ajrsmom]

~~ Ladies ~~

Over the past couple of months, I have been contacted by several members who are upset that they are not receiving a snail mail gift from their Secret Sisters.

After talking at length to these ladies, I am finding out that for whatever reasons are being given (or in a lot of cases not being given a reason), indeed they are not receiving their snail mails.

Please know that I am not pointing the finger at anyone specifically. I have to find a way to try to guarantee having a fun time when you join this club. I am not willing to let the name of this club become tarnished by bad word of mouth because of this. We are all adults here. I feel that I should not have to babysit this club. I do not want to offend anyone by my words but please understand that we have women here who, month after month, year after year, follow the rules to a "T". It is not fair to them that some members might decide to NOT follow through with sending a snail mail. Constantly being given chance after chance doesn't seem to change this, either.

I think that everyone knows that I try my best to be fair and understanding of all problems and situations that might arise. In the past, I have given many members a free pass to stay in the club when the rules clearly state that they should've sat out for the coming exchange. I simply believe that there are times when we cannot control everything. That being said....Yes, mail has been lost....but if it's a continuing problem, you should be addressing this with your Post Office, not here. Yes, emergencies occur but it is very unlikely that some type of emergency will occur at the same time month after month.


I am very sorry that it has come down to me having saying this but I will not bend the following rules for anyone any longer:

Rules for sending a snail mail

1. You MUST send at least ONE snail mail out by the 15th of the month. This should ensure that everyone will receive a snail by the end of the month. When the holiday months are upon us, you will need to take into consideration where your package is being sent. Please consider mailing it even earlier, if possible, to allow time for travel delays.

Many of our Secret Sisters choose to send a postcard or greeting card at the start of the month and then send a small package during the 3 week of the exchange. This is wonderful but please note that it is not madatory. You might choose to send only a card or you might send out a package right from the start. Either is fine as long as something goes out by the 15th of the month.

2. You must notify your SS by email, e-card, Private Message on FC or phone call to let her know that you have sent a snail mail to her. This way, she can be on the lookout for it. If after a few days it doesn't show up, she can let you know. Just posting it in a thread on the boards isn't good enought. It could easily be overlooked that way.

3. GET A RECEIPT for your snail mail. Whether it is a card or package, if you do not have a receipt to show that you have mailed something, if it gets lost, you will have to sit out the following month unless you are willing to replace it by the end of the month.

I know that I am being very stern with this rule but you wouldn't believe me if I told you just how many times I've heard that "I sent a card or gift but it must have gotten lost". Believe me, I understand that this does happen but I also know that this is a convenient excuse.

Again, if this is a reoccuring problem, please talk to the Post Master at your post office. I have had trouble with my mail delivery for 6 months and after many, many talks with our Post Master, I think that things are finally straightened out.

4. SET A BUDGET for the SS club every month. I can no longer accept that "the funds ran out this month so I cannot send anything". You knew when you joined the club that you would have to send a snail mail.

There is no minimum or maximum limit that you need to spend each month. To be fair, I ask that you spend the same amount each month on each SS. A good rule of thumb is $5.00 or under. Remember to send something that you would like to receive.

5. If there is an emergency and you cannot send your snail mail out on time, you must tell your SS, bar_bar and me so that we will know that it will be late. You must let bar_bar and me know when and if you will be sending a snail mail to her. This notification must happen before the 15th.

**Of coure in emergencies where you are ill, hurt...etc. this does not hold true. Please contact as soon as possible to let us know that you are ok.

6. Most Importantly... Treat other Secret Sisters how you like to be treated yourself!!

Send your snail mail out on time so that your SS can enjoy it for the month that you are her sending Secret Sister. Allow her the pleasure of knowing that you care about her!!

Receiving a snail mail

1. Once you receive your package, you must go to the Secret Sister forum and post in the Thank You thread that you have received your snail mail.

Many SS rely on the Thank You thread for their main way of knowing that you are receiving their stuff......emails, e-cards, gifts....etc. Please post in that thread often to let them know!!

2. No matter what you receive as a snail mail, please understand that it is a gift from the heart! It is not the size of the gift that is important!

You should've joined this club to meet new friends not to just get a gift.

3. Most Importantly... Treat other Secret Sisters how you like to be treated yourself!!

Please understand that if you aren't caring enough to say THANK YOU, you are hurting someone's feelings. It could easily be you the next time getting your feelings hurt.


**********

I cannot say enough "Thank yous" to everyone who follows these rules month after month. You are the reason the Secret Sister club remains strong.

We are part of one of the most unique clubs on the Internet. (There are many copy cats since our club has started. Many of them copy this club very closely but we are still the leader.)

Let's work together to continue building the wonderful friendships within our group.


If you have any questions or comments, please contact me via email or PM. I am not leaving this thread open for discussion.

Thanks for understanding,
Tami

[ajrsmom]

This thread holds some good tips and reminders as well.

It does reitterate a lot of the above post but please take a few minutes to read through it.

It will help us to all work together to keep this group continuing to be a wonderful club!