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My family is in the process of adopting (again). This daughter is 9 and she has an older sibling who is placed with her grandparents and she has two younger siblings who are placed in foster care. She is happy to be with our family, but she doesn't understand why her grandparents took the older sister but "didn't want me". It wasn't that way at all! They were only able to care for one...and the oldest was placed first. She wants us to adopt the younger two but they have a different birth father and he is interested in them and he has first rights.
If you have the opportunity (and the willingness to seek out help) to adopt both, by all means, do so!
But, as a mother of 5 (three adopted), I strongly urge you to start getting your "helps" in place. We are a certified Therapeutic Foster Home and we have regular trainings we can attend. We also have free respites come (mine are Tues & Thurs from 9am - 1pm) from the Mental Health Association.
I homeschool my two youngest (and LOVE what I do), but you still need a break now and then and someone to talk to. My youngest is in counseling and that helps both of us (what's normal and what's not is a question that the counselor helps answer).
Especially since you have no other children (yet), just adjusting to being new parents will be a challenge. The two of you can't discuss this subject enough! Another thing that will help is to find out what (if any) diagnosis these two little ones have and start reading up on them.
I would be happy to recommend books and other resources if you would like.
God bless you both.
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Do not let what you do not have keep you from using what you do have!
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