My Son Hates School!

February 12th, 2013 posted by Family Corner Staff

Photo Copyright Amanda Formaro/The Family Corner.com 1998, 1999, 2000

Q:

“Michael, my 7 year old son, hates school. He whines every morning about getting ready and says how he doesn’t want to go. He thinks he can’t do anything right and never wants to do his homework. I need some homework tips and ideas on making school more fun. Please!”

~ Mindy

Answers from our members:

Karenwrote:

I agree with Patti who suggested you check with the school and teachers. Also, you didn’t say if he takes the bus or not. If he does, ask if he’d like you to drive him to school one or two days a week. My granddaughter was threatened by the bigger kids on the bus, and the driver didn’t deal with it.

Cathiewrote:

I have a daughter who is going to be 6 in November and she hates school, too. What I have done, and I think that it has made a difference is I tell her all the things that she has been doing right and I’ve been ignoring all the things that she’s been doing wrong (within reason – I don’t let her run out in front of a car and not say anything). Her attitude has changed greatly. I feel that she was discouraged at home and the feelings were being carried over to school time. It’s fortunate that I stopped being so negative with her. I listened to myself for a couple days and just cringed. “Devon, do this, do that, don’t do that. Devon, what _are_ you doing? How many times have I told you not to do this, that and the other thing?” Now I say, “I really love how quickly you got ready for school today.” And even if her homework is messy, I find _something_ that is fine with it. Devon hasn’t been chomping at the bit to go to school, but at least we’re not screaming, crying, having temper tantrums any more before school. For the person who took their daughter out of school and sent them to a new one, I’m glad that it worked for you. I tried this, too, but it didn’t work for long. My daughter still didn’t like school. I think it really was my problem. To the gal whose son fidgets and he doesn’t complete his work, I would look at a bunch of the websites for ADD. I’m not a doctor, but he may show other signs as well. My daughter will be tested this year for ADHD. Apparently, they can’t be tested until they’re 6, but nobody that knows my daughter doesn’t think that she needs some medication (I’ve already had her on a special diet to help control some of the behaviors).

Pattiwrote:

I have a 9y/o daughter that we were going through the same thing with(for 3yrs). I believe the first place to look for the problem is at school. My daughter did the same thing as your child, fought getting up in the morning, didn’t want to do the homework, struggled with math mostly, she is a very bright girl. Even in the worst times she managed to get pretty good grades but the constant “I hate school” really scared me when she was only 7 & 8. My husband & I both went to the school & talked to the teachers she had, the principal, the guidance counselor. This yr. we pulled her out of that school & put her in a different one. You have no idea the change it made in her. She loves school, she loves her teacher, she’s always up way before it’s time to get ready, I don’t even have to tell her to do her homework anymore, she just gets it out and does it after dinner. She’s a straight A student & whenever I go to the school her teacher tells me what a wonderful little girl she is. She’s on a first name basis with her principal which she adores & she tells me she has more friends than she’s ever had. I’m not saying this is the solution to your problem, but to me if a child fights going to school where there’s friends and new things to learn everyday than I would take a closer look at the place he’s going & the adults he is dealing with.

Rachael Giallongowrote:

This sounds EXACTLY like my 7 year old daughter! First of all, I would suggest having him tested for a learning disability! Children who CAN’T get the concept will learn to dislike school. Second, something that helped my daughter was having something at school to look forward to. Her teacher and I brainstormed and it was decided that Victoria could feed Hammy, the hamster, each day that she came to school without a fight! Worked like a charm! Rachael

Michael Alexanderwrote:

First of all, why is little Michael feeling that he can’t do anything right? Mom or Dad or whoever needs to sit down with him and have a chat. Kids pick up everything, but they don’t just pluck things out of the clear blue sky. Maybe his teacher isn’t giving him the encouragement he needs, maybe the kids are teasing him. Maybe the problem is at home, and he isn’t getting the encouragement and assistance he needs from his family. Getting him to feel better about himself will in itself make learning more fun. Set up an appointment and talk to his teacher about his general attitude in class, if he’s being teased, etc. She may have quite a lot of insight into the problem. Also, if he’s struggling with his schoolwork, giving him simpler work to do at home will give him more confidence. If he’s having trouble with fractions, bake something with him and double the recipe. Talk with him about doubling things, and do the harder ones yourself. But if something is 1½ cups, and you need to double it, break it down and work through it with him. “Okay, 1½ plus 1½. Well, what’s 1½ plus ½?” Two, he replies. “Good. And two plus one?” Three. And he puts three cups of it into the bowl, and feels very pleased with himself. Read to him, and have him read to you. Develop a love of reading as quickly as you can, b/c it’ll only become more difficult as he gets older. If he learns to love reading now, schoolwork will be much less of a hassle for him for the rest of his life. If he balks at being read to, saying he’s too old, tell him how you still enjoy being read to and always have, how you bet all his classmates are read bedtime stories and just won’t admit it, etc. Prove it, saying, “You read to me, then. I love being read to. “Few 7-year-olds will refuse.

Jennifer wrote:

Well, first of all, with homework, a little tip would be to put away all homework until after the child has played for about an hour. Then, sit down with the child and ask them to tell you about their day–just listen. After they have said everything that is on their mind, tell them it is time to work on their papers (because the word homework to a child sounds so negative). Tell them they can pick out which paper they want to do first, second, and so on. This way the child feels they have more control over the situation. (this is very encouraging to them). As far as being tired in the morning and not wanting to go to bed when it is time, start setting a bedtime with your child and compromise (a little). Start by sending your child to bed 10-15 minutes earlier each week until they are at the right number of hours for sleep for their age. It is possible that your child is feeling overwhelmed with everything at school and responsibilities at home and other activities. If this continues to be a problem, consider taking away one or maybe two of the extra activities they are involved in until you see an improvement in your child’s productiveness at home and at school. To make school a little more fun for your child, make it a game. Such as, ask your child to tell you something that he/she learned new each day. Another idea is to find something the child enjoys doing or likes to collect, etc. And tell them that each time they bring home a check mark, an “a”, or a “b”, (whatever is satisfactory to you as a parent) that you and the child will go do this activity this weekend or get the prized collectable they dream of! I hope my comments have helped you and maybe even someone else going through the same things. Good luck!!

Lindawrote:

We are going through the same thing as well. My son is 9 and I just came from a parent/teachers meeting. He does not complete his work, he fidgets with things all day long, but yet he knows the material. His work is late and everyday it’s late, it’s 10% off his grade, so his 96 is a 76 because he doesn’t do the work. I would love to hear any responses to this. Thanks.

Lisa Davenportwrote:

I think first I would let him have some blow off steam time, preferably outside time, and then I would sit with him and do some of the work to make sure he understands and make a positive remark “Lets see if you can show me how much of this you know already” then work on what he doesn’t understand. I would also think of using a homeschooling curriculum to use as a tutor for the areas he is having problems.

Rebeccawrote:

Wow! We are going through the same thing, only it’s with my daughter and she is 9. She is constantly complaining about how she is too tired in the morning to get up, yet she doesn’t want to go to bed at night when I remind her about school the next day. She says that her homework is too hard, yet I have seen her breeze right through it. I don’t know what else to do! I will be back later to see what people have said, good luck!


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