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Working Parents Struggling with a full time career and responsibilities of children, schedules, and homelife? This is the forum for you!

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Old 08-01-2002, 03:58 AM
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FlyLady for a Working Mom

I've recently joined FlyLady (thanks mtlady for the suggestion), but I'm not able to fit everything needed into each day's routines. Would some other working mom's share with me what they do on the weekend to keep the week from being too busy.

I have kids to raise, abc's and 123's to review with my kiddos, laundry to wash and put away, house to keep up, 35 hr per week job to go to, class one night per week, studying to do, and church on Sundays.

Thank-ya,
Tami
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Old 08-03-2002, 12:22 PM
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How about letting the kids practice ABC's and 123's while they're in the tub. Just squirt a small amount of shaving cream on the wall in the tub and let them "write" in it. This even cleans the tile so another job taken care of while they're playing.
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Old 08-03-2002, 01:00 PM
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Oooh, great idea!
Thanks
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Old 08-03-2002, 01:04 PM
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You're welcome. Something my boys always loved. Even used it at the school when I was tutoring. Works with spelling words and math problems, too. The teachers loved it, too. Does a great job cleaning the desks!!!!
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Old 08-04-2002, 02:08 PM
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I didn't see mention of the kids' ages, but I would certainly give them age-appropriate chores. Also, I bet you have time in the car with them, which is a great time to review ABCs etc. I always had educational music cassette tapes and we'd sing along with the Muppets or Sesame Street or what-have-you. We also had educational videos. I'm way past this now (kids are 20 and 16) but I was a preschool teacher when they were younger, worked 35 hours a week, went to college two nights a week, and got almost no help from hubby.

Rani
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Old 08-04-2002, 02:31 PM
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I agree kasparcat. My kids are 15 and 20. They're a captive audience in the car, hahaha, so it's a great time for review. And you will definitely do yourself and your kids a huge favor if you teach them to be self sufficient. I have two boys and both can sew, cook, clean and do laundry. Start them early and make sure they know all the things they'll need to get them thru life.

I would also like to mention that you may need to look at the expectations you have. Sometimes we set our sites extremely high and then we're disappointed in ourselves for not meeting such lofty goals. A happy family is much more important than a spotless home. Enjoy yourself. Have fun with your family.
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Old 08-16-2002, 01:59 AM
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I am a little late responding to this post, shows you the depth of my organization skills. LOL. I joined flylady awhile back and I too can't seem to keep up with all the chores. I think it is a wonderful site but I calculated it and it seems to me the average time is around 1 to 2 hours a day and I just don't seem to have that time. I have made myself feel like a failure and I am working on stopping that. I had my little one at 42 she will now be 2 and she is in daycare and I still can't seem to keep up. I am looking for a fulltime job trying to keep my husbands packrat tendencies (he saves used light bulbs and batteries and every scrap of paper) to a minumum. My errand running takes one day, we live in a rural setting and have to travel a minumum of 30 minutes to get somewhere, ie grocery store, local Walmart etc and when my little one is at home she takes all my time. My hubby likes to parent from the couch. I like the work in 5 minute principle so I do my work that way. I also like the philosophy of any house cleaning still blesses your home. I have decided to adopt the principle of Erma Bombeck. Before she died of cancer she wrote a piece on the value of life. I have the piece filed away somewhere but the question is where? LOL. Basically the jist of the article was She wished she had hugged her kids more instead of worrying about the dirty dishes. She wished she had got down on her hands and knees and played with her kids and grandchildren instead of vaccuming. She wished she had yelled less about the children making a mess and joined them in making the mess. You get the general theme of the article. My type A personality is hard to overcome by I work on it little by little. I constantly monitor what I am saying to myself and realize its all just "stuff". And then from the Dinotopia book/movie I remind myself,:"Breathe deep seek piece" and I add my own word to it. "Smile". It helps.
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Old 08-16-2002, 04:45 AM
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Good Morning tlcsmom. I, too, subscribed to the Flylady's email. I have to say that I am an EXTREMELY organized person and I am not "in step" with the flylady. I can see that her program is workable for some, but it just isn't the right one for me. That said, on to much more important things.

Don't worry about the location of the Erma Bombeck article. You have the information you need from it. She was right. Enjoy life. Don't worry about your house. The kids don't remember how clean the floor was (and if they do, how sad is that???). They will remember the games you played and the fun you had. Set your own expectations, don't worry about meeting someone else's.

I am lucky not to be married to a packrat. Is there any way you could assign an area for your husband to keep his treasures in?? You know, only that area. Might work, but admittedly, I have no experience at all in that regard.

Find your own comfort level and don't worry about what other people think. Have fun. Enjoy. What do you want your children to remember about you when they're grown??? That you obsessed about the house and constantly doubted yourself??? Or maybe that you were the funnest mom around and always took the time to laugh and play??? Sounds like an easy choice to me. Have fun!!!!
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Old 08-16-2002, 07:43 AM
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Hi! I too am a mom who works full time and have a 6 yr old son and a 2 yr old daughter - one in school and one at daycare. Since my husband works 6 days/week, leaves before I do and gets back after I do, I do all the hauling around, grocery shopping etc...

I checked into FlyLady.com to see if I could sort of organize my time better and to feel less like a chicken running around with its head cut off! FORGET IT!!! Although this site is highly recommended, I spent a few minutes on there and decided to get out the second I saw her routine. It's overwhelming! It took me years to be less hard on myself -still working on it - and that site would only make me regress.

I've been off for the summer (I teach) and my house has been reasonably clean but there's no way I'm going to spend my holidays cleaning and cooking for hours a day. And I know that when I'm back at work next week, my house will look like a tornado went through it until Christmas and that I'll sometimes feel bad or frustrated about it but I'll keep concentrating on what everyone else has said: HAVE FUN WITH MY KIDS!

When we were looking for a house 4 yrs ago I told my husband that the kitchen and family room had to be out of sight from the front entrance! They are and this has saved me a lot of grief! When people come in they see our living room which only has 2 chairs (we use it as a hockey arena rather than for guests!). The hockey nets and equipment are hidden behind the foyer wall.

Other ways I stay sane... the master bedroom and adjoining bathroom are up to my husband to clean - if he doesn't do them, they stay the way they are and they mostly do! I must say I never ask him to clean anything and he never asks me to either. There are two adults in this house, the cleanliness of the house is up to both of us - it took me a long time to ignore the thought that an untidy house reflects on me and not on my husband. Also since I'm not great in the kitchen - maybe purposely!? - my husband cooks dinner around our house. The dishes that fit into the dishwasher eventually find their way in there and as for pots and pans, well they're often on the counter from Monday to Friday.

Let's see, what else? Other than the furniture getting dusted once in a blue moon, nothing else does. The closets are a free for all and it looks like a landmine went off in our basement. You see when I'm not sure what to do with something but think someone might need it in the next little while I just throw it in a closet and when I'm really not sure where to put something and am pretty sure no one needs it in the near future I throw it in the basement! That's a type of organization though isn't it? HA! HA!

Anyway, after rereading this I realize I sound like someone with a little too much free time for a mom with 2 young kids so off I go...
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Old 08-16-2002, 07:54 AM
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Yay!!!!!! how refreshing!!! I loved reading your post sugarspicenpuppytails. I just found the volumn of emails from the flylady overwhelming. I stopped opening them. I guess I should just unsubscribe, but like I said, I just stopped opening them. Delete, delete, delete, hahahahaha. I think it's a good program, but it's not working for me.

I love the idea of playing in the livingroom. It's such a seldom used room. Our formal diningroom was useless to us. We didn't even use it at the holidays, since our family room is larger and I was able to seat everyone at two large round tables in there. So.........we got rid of the dining table and accessories and put in a beautiful computer armoire and desk. Now we have a workcenter that we use every day. My mom had a fit, told me she couldn't believe I was getting rid of my dining room. I didn't get rid of it, it's still here. Just changed it into something that worked better for us.
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