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Working Parents Struggling with a full time career and responsibilities of children, schedules, and homelife? This is the forum for you!

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 08-17-2002, 04:50 PM
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Hey kasparcat, I'm so sorry to hear that. You know we're here for you. Can I ask what happened? I don't want to pry, so if I'm out of line, please forgive me. You can email if you want, at yahoo.com. I'm home during the day and available to chat back and forth if you want. Take care of yourself.

Katie
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 08-18-2002, 08:02 AM
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i have ms and i managed really well for a long time, then suddenly bambambam, cane.. walker .. wheelchair, and who knows what next. i have pretty good support around me, in real life and online. thankful for THAT!

rani
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 08-18-2002, 09:34 AM
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MS - is that what Montel Williams has?? It sounds like your husband takes good care of you. Not bad for a guy with no shoes!!!

Katie
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 08-18-2002, 09:51 AM
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yes, montel, annette funicello, richard pryor, and david lander, who played squiggy on laverne and shirley.

my husband is now, finally, taking care of me, but i asked for help for years and got little. i attribute a good portion of my recent worsening to his lack of help and neglect over the years. i asked and begged and he just didn't want to, well, now i'm so disabled, he HAS TO. i had just told him i wanted a divorce right before this hit hard. he didn't want one. good thing he started shaping up.

rani
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 08-18-2002, 11:04 AM
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Sorry to hear about your MS Kaspercat. I keep reading that a cure is around the corner and I hope they find it soon. My husband just told me yesterday about a 20 something guy he knew through work who suspected nothing, then he woke up one morning and had lost the use of his legs. Scary! I'm glad your husband has gotten around to helping you - too bad you had to take a big turn to the worse for it to happen. Think he'd check into FlyLady.com?! Just kidding! (Hope that's not in bad taste!)

On that same train of thought however...how many guys do you know who would do the FlyLady thing? I can't think of one. I think it might be in our biological makeup as women to feel guilty if our house isn't spotless.

Katie, I love the passion you have for art! Your son sure is someone to be proud of! I'm sure it's difficult to see him leave but as you know he seems to be very responsible you probably won't have too much to worry about. What am I thinking? Even though my kids are 6 and 2, I know parents always worry about their kids in one way or another...
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 08-18-2002, 11:56 AM
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i can't imagine a guy doing flylady!! here's why...

men tend to be concrete. either he's into having the house clean and functioning (in which case, he handles it) or he isn't into it (in which case, he doesn't see the need for change,

the biggest difference between men and women, imo, is in where they attribute status.

men grant status based on what you know and what you can do,
women grant status on who you know and who you can connect to.

let's take the classic difference about being lost. a man doesn't want to stop and ask directions because it would lower his status, it would show that he couldn't find it on his own and that the person to be asked knows more than he does. why does this annoy women? because to her, stopping and asking a stranger indicates she has higher status, because she is using her netyworking and connecting skills to attain a goal.

why are men less willing to go for counseling? they think it implies they can't solve ptoblems themselves, and why would a therapist know more about in he does? whereas women turn to tehir friends or a counselor or oprah because connecting is empowering to them. take my word for it, this explains everything.

when the sink-sprayer broke, i asked hubby to go to lowes and buy the kit. he want 3x and kept coming back, saying they dont have that part and it needs a whole new yadda-yadda, going to cost $65, and so i went a year without a sprayer. i asked if he asked for help and he said yes. see, it didnt matter to him because he doesn't use the sprayer, but i do. finally, i asked one of my online friends , her husband does plumbing and she does schedul8ing and minor troubleshhoting, so i asked her. she said it was under $5, told me what part to get and how to fix it. i was willing to ask an expert at lowe's what to buy and how to replace it... so i dragged dh there and asked the lady in charge of plumbing, she said, oh yes, you need this... two aisles away. under $5. we got it home and he got a round tuit 2 weeks later...ok, i nagged, lol. he installed in less than 5 min.

good thing that got done... because nowadays it;s the only way to wash my hair.

rani
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 08-18-2002, 12:37 PM
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Hi rani, keep the fire lit under his butt. Sometimes that's the only way. I agree with what you say. Luckily, I married a man who seems to know how to do everything (really, he does). He does all our repairs, electrical wiring, ceramic tile, remodeling, etc. He even repairs our appliances if they need it. His philosophy is that it's already broken, so what's the worst that can happen??? It'll still be broken. No harm done. I do see some of my friends in your situation with a husband that doesn't want to admit he doesn't know how to do something. I just can't imagine. OMG, could you see the world if women were like that???? hahahahahahaha.

Thanks to you sugarspicenpuppytails (you need a shorter name, lmao). And you're right, You never stop worrying about them. I've been extremely fortunate. Neither of my boys has ever given me any trouble at all. I couldn't be prouder of them.

FYI - I am still getting flylady email. Lots of it. I unsubscribed again today. I feel like I'm trying to get out of a cult. PLEASE STOP!!!! hahaha. I did get tons of cleaning done today. Didn't need the flylady for that.

Uh oh, I hear thunder. Gotta run. Got laundry outside.

Katie
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 08-18-2002, 07:09 PM
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Rani, I agree with everything you said. Personal question - don't answer if you don't want to - has your relationship with your husband gotten better? Also, you said you only had the use of three limbs so if you don't mind my asking how do you manage to post?My husband's not much of a fixer-upper either and HATES asking for help - which must be why he never suggests I should be cleaning more. I must say he's very good at other things though and is a great dad.

Katie, yes I know that's a long name. Others write Sugar for short. This might sound ridiculous but I still don't feel comfortable using my real name on this site. I write freely on here and it unburdens me but I'm so scared someone I actually know might read some of my posts and figure out it's me. By the way your husband sounds like a true blue - I'm happy for you. I'm very lucky as well.
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 08-18-2002, 07:27 PM
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Sugar works for me. And we all want you to be comfortable!!!! No problems there. Just didn't want to be so forward and start calling you Sugar on my own, you know, and give people the wrong idea. hahahahaha. Just funnin ya.

My husband is a true gem. I don't think he realizes just how special he is. I'm pretty sure he just plugs along, thinking every husband is just like him. I keep trying to tell him it's not true. Of course, I wouldn't want him getting a big head about it either. That would make it very difficult for him to get out the door, know what I mean???

Well, I'm off to bed. Talk to you guys tomorrow. Take care.

Katie
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 08-19-2002, 08:19 AM
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Katie you make me laugh which is why it's the first post I check when I'm on familycorner! Thanks. Anyway, I can't think of anything else to say about the FlyLady Not! thing at the moment so I'll check in later.
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