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Working Parents Struggling with a full time career and responsibilities of children, schedules, and homelife? This is the forum for you!

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Old 12-29-2008, 04:52 PM
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Dealing with homematters...

Whew! I had been out of work since April 2007 and so has Pooky. He is trying to get disability (already turned down once). I was trying everything to get a job except steal it - most places told me it would be a waste of time to fill out an application since I had no work history for the previous 6 months. I even tried at the temp agencies I had worked for and my last employer - I even tried for seasonal work and didn't get a nibble. I finally just went to WorkForce OK (aka the state employment agency) and found some pointers. I went in and took a test and got a job that started last Monday! It is only temporary, the most hours I'll work is 32, the pay is good, and it sure will look good on a resume...
The problem is I will have to rely on Sleeping Beauty (aka DH) to be responsible and get the "Boo" where he needs to go once school starts. I have been browbeating and cajoling and even threatening the two to help clean up the house and help me arrange it so we can empty the portable storage in the driveway. I blew up Saturday and we got a bit done but they are both slacking off... shall I move into a tent in the front yard?
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Old 12-30-2008, 04:45 AM
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Have you tried making a list for things at home that need to be done?

You could make several lists. One being a long term list, such as cleaning out the carport.

Than a list of broken down items. Such as clear out the left back corner section of the carport.

Than of course daily lists. Such as:

1. empty dishwasher/drain rack
2. get supper supplies out
3. vacuum living room
4. carport and list the number that you want done.

Don't know if you and your family work well with lists. But, that is how I get things done. And that is what my Mom always did for us when we were kids, and she worked days. Over the summer, we each had a separate list of things to do.

Hope it helps a bit.
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Old 01-02-2009, 12:52 PM
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I agree with mom2-4, list are helpful. Unfortunately, you can leave a list but it doesn't mean things will get done. (I happen to love lists but my dh often ignores them) Have you talked to your dh about needing his support now that you are returning to work? Explain to him your feelings about how hard it would be if you had to do everything alone. I go through this with my dh a lot of the time and I don't always get results. It is said that working mom's really work two full time jobs. I do hope things improve for you.
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Old 01-02-2009, 07:43 PM
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I work full-time and my dh works part-time so is home more than me. He is the type that would get overwhelmed with a "honey-do" list but when he saw some things were not getting finished he offered to help with the laundry, vacuuming and a few other things that might strike him as needing done. If I ask him to do any more than two things in a day then he usually doesn't do the third. Also if I am home and need him to do some things that I can't do myself I find it best to wait until he is done with one thing before asking for another thing to be done, otherwise he thinks I want everything done immediately and gets overwhelmed and angry. The waiting until he finishes the first task has prevented a lot of arguments. I also always try to thank him for what he did do.
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Old 02-27-2009, 06:34 AM
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When I worked and needed some help. I asked dh if he would help me with getting a certain thing done. And I always thanked him afterward.
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Old 02-27-2009, 09:35 AM
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My dh was a bricklayer so was always home in the winter and he retired 5 years before I did. I would leave a list always highlighting what was really important to me. I also found out what he considered easy and had him do that. He took over the wash and the running around. This saved me hours and always let him know I appreciated itI also realized he would never do the jobs my way and learned to live with that. As far as after school activities I told both the child and dh and then left it to them. If they didn’t make it was their problem and I did not solve it for them. They did not make things more than once
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Old 02-27-2009, 02:00 PM
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Let me say upfront that we have no-children and have been married almost twenty years. Of those almost twenty years I have been unemployed for at least half of them (various reasons), and DH working for all of them. When I was working I found that I was doing everything except the cooking (this includes yard work, pet care, vehicle maintenance care, house work, etc). Then one day I woke up and told DH how much I appreciate him doing all the cooking because he enjoys it and doesn't want to starve, but if he doesn't start pulling his weight with the house/yard chores I was going to quit working. I even negotiated baking one or two dinners a week (this includes premade dinners).

Up until I got injured and had to leave work (non-work related), this was a working deal. Since I've been unemployed due to injury, I still attempt to keep up my half of the deal and so does he. This way when I do get to go back to work again, we don't have to start all over again.

Good luck with what ever you decide works best for you.
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