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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 01-31-2004, 06:39 AM
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I'd like to add to my earlier remarks. I had not read down to the part where you mention her specail issues.....I have a 9 y.o. DS who is ADHD and Bipolar. He is also very attatched to me and requires my attention but he does enjoy being active. I do have two other children one older, one younger.
Having a child with special issues can be a learning exereince for you both.
I'd encourage you to continue your quest for a good therapist.
It took me 7 tries before I found someone who understood and listened. It's been a rocky road to travel.
I would encourage you to find things she enjoys. My son loves baseball, boy scouts, riding bikes and others. He is very good with animals. He has a whole slew of them that he is required to care for. This means cleaning enclosures, preparing meals and playing with. This keeps him active and he can do it with just my supervision. He's always been a little afraid to distance himself away from me but if he is with the animals it seems to give him some security. He needs to have things to focus on besides me.
He even loves cooking and gardening. Both flower and veggie.
I encourage him to do these kinds of things.
I hope this helps.
Best of Luck!
Robin in NC
www.bunnyrabbits.org/southerncomfortrefuge/
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 01-31-2004, 06:55 AM
kellyandkids
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Be her best example!

Actually, I think you are off to a great start. You are actively seeking ideas to consider.

Here's another: many overweight woman have been able to look back and realize they "chose" to put on the pounds. Some childhoood trauma or fear made them realize they needed to be bigger in order to protect themselves. They can't grow any faster in years or height but weight they can put on. Beware the vicious cycle this creates.

So buy a treadmill or exercise bikes of you must. My community has some child parent exercise classes.

Food: love the cookbooks by Leanne Ely _Healthy Foods_ and _Saving Dinner_ . Very doable changes in diet. Yum.

I am also using the _ADHD/ADD Fiasco_ book's behavior modification program for my whining son. Great success.

And finally, go slowly with the changes. She's had 7 years to learn these patterns. Set some long-term goals for your whole family so the focus is not just her; eveyone has to be in the same boat. Giving her some power of choice might be a great start.
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Old 01-31-2004, 08:49 AM
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This is just an idea for getting her active outside.

Does your DD like flowers? Maybe one thing to try to get her active in your yard is to let her have her own flower bed or veggie garden. You could find a space in the basement or somewhere and let her plant seeds to start them for spring. Then you can help her plant them and weed the garden. She will see something grow. I know that my kids love to do this.

Also a trampoline is wonderful. It is fun and works off calories.
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Crystal
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 01-31-2004, 12:30 PM
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Only children

I learned from early on that we weren't going to have any more children then what we have now. One child. I read thru Parent Magazine, Child Magazine and all those magazines that we were going to need to teach her how to be independant and learn to play by herself. Mine does when she is with me. I taught her that. DH on the other hand chose his own path and and she follows him around like the only brother she will only have. I warned him and he didn't listen. She he has to deal with it. For you to deal with it? Get her invovled in ice skating or swimming. Something competitive. Something that will keep her focused and in shape. Sounds like she is eating because she is bored. Turst me, get her involved with any sport or activity that will keep her activie and from becoming another statistic of being an obese child. This is the number one reason why children are obese is because parents don't send their little ones outside to play or get them involved in sports all year round. Mine just gave up swimming after 3 1/2 years and decided to devote herself to FT ice skating. She has done both for nearly 3 1/2 years. Now she is diving into skating and I commend her. This is one tough sport that will keep her focused. Good luck. I hope you find something to help her make friends thru and with.
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Old 01-31-2004, 01:14 PM
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Thanks everyone!

We went to the city park today, dd, me, and her two cousins and got surrounded by ducks who were biting at us trying to get the bread out of her hands-LOL!

Then the kids played at the playground but after a few minutes of playing dd wanted to go home. We left after only 15 minutes of being there and it started to snow.

I appreciate the advice. Dd played t-ball this summer and she wanted to play soccer this year but we decided to wait until we move back to Tennessee before she goes back to sports. The reason is that the kids are rougher here than from where we moved. The kids have threatened her, locked her out of the boys and girls club and choked her, so that's why she won't be going back to these places and so we're gonna wait. Even when dd was involved in sports she would cling when she came home-LOL! I posted this same question on a bipolar board and they said it was typical of bp kids. But, I think it's also typical of only kids too. I don't know...
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Old 01-31-2004, 07:06 PM
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Bullying

Ahem!!! Um, are you aware that what those children are doing is against the law? There is a little known law called anti bullying law. If they are? Then you need to get an attorney, courtesy of the state and go at em. Trust me, they won't anymore after you get done with them. Michigan has one and let me tell you, those children won't be doing what they are doing now. You live in CO? Wow. That state is is suppose to be pretty good with schools. Good luck. Keep us posted.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 02-01-2004, 01:00 PM
kellyandkids
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When are you moving back to Tennessee? Unless it is next week, you need to find some way to release that physical stress for you and her. Don't wait.

Idea: Tell her that you are stressed and arranged to go walk around the local school for a few laps; she will come and keep you company. She can do the counting of laps.

Actually, I am amazed at our local school district letting only people over 14, into the school designated for those 14 and under, to walk there. I homeschool and we ALL need to go somewhere when it has been below 0 degrees F for the last few days. And they charge money for this!

I used to live by the Mall of America - a dream for mothers of toddlers. Do you have a mall where you could walk without window shopping? Bring money only for a healthy treat. Even the Target or Wal-Mart store coud probably handle me walking in circles. One excercise idea I read was to get your grocery shopping done and then push your cart around for a couple of more laps. That could make me hate grocery shopping even more.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 02-04-2004, 08:12 AM
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I would like to ditto the suggestion of getting her in Girl Scouts. The Brownie leaders will utterly not allow bullying, and there is a wonderful balance of crafts, nature, physical activities, and relating with others.

Rani
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 02-04-2004, 08:48 AM
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Girl Scouts

Disagree with Girl Scouts. I don't like their attitude toward certain things. I really don't think they advance girls like they are suppose to. Try ice skating or swimming or something other then Girl Scouts. My daughter is going to Mars. Not a quilting bee. IMO
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 02-04-2004, 09:30 AM
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When I was growing up, GS was heavily into cooking and needlecraft and the like, with some first aid and campcraft thrown in. When I became a Brownie leader and later a GS leader, I was floored at the new emphasis on science and athletics. Badges and activities nowaday include lots of both, including astronautics, every sport imaginable, video production, computer science, and so little of the traditional "household arts" that my troop was forced to create their own badge when they wanted to learn to do cake-decorating.

Rani
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