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Old 03-06-2008, 08:00 PM
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Sad face dd depressed about her size

My 10yr old came to me tonight and finally told me what has been bothering her for the last while. She wants to loose a lot of weight. She is not happy anymore and I am afraid of depression again. She was treated for depression for 2 years after being bullied at school, teacher and kids, for a very long time to the point of wanting to die.

Yes, she is over weight, but has always been very active. It has been a very long cold winter and we have not gone out much. I want to help her, but I don't want it to seem like punishment. There are very few options available that we can afford as far as activities go. I am upset and unable to think about this clearly. Have you gone through this?
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Old 03-06-2008, 09:42 PM
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Cooked, so sorry to hear of your dd's problems. This is horrible to hear at such a young age she feels this way already.You ay this started at 8? Wow! It's a shame we live in such a World now where kids can be so cruel. I would suggest talking to her peditrician ASAP. She may need to watch what she eat and exercise but I don't believe a child thatage should be dieting or trying to lose lot of weight. This is how eating disorders can start.
The best thing you can do for her is to be there for her, let her know she's beautiful no matter what her size! Be her best friend, be available, talk to her.
I can't believe a teacher would've bullied her too. If that happens again I'd go to the higher ups and see that the teacher be dismissed. I'd fight it tooth and nail.
It's good that she's active, so you know she's healthy. When it's nicer maybe you and her can do it as a team and take walks together.
In the meantime take pairs of socks,roll them into balls, about 10 pair for each of you. Then you each stand on opposite ends of the room,set a timer for 3 mins. and have a snowball fight. This is indoor and you both have to stay on your own side of the room. It's fast past and you keep grabbing the snowballs that come on your side and throwing them at the other person. After 3 mins. when time is up the person with the most snowballs on the floor on ther side loses. Then you just keep playingfr as long as you like, I'd say 1/2hr.
It's alot of fun and gives you time together playing a game that will get both of you in shape.
We did this at my dd's school and it got very physical. Let me know if you try it, just an idea when you can't get out.
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Old 03-06-2008, 10:37 PM
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Cooked,so sorry to hear of your daughter's problems...I agree 100% with Tara...your daughter is beautiful no matter what her size...I went through this with my youngest daughter...being bullied by other kids and her teachers too because of her weight...its not right and the teacher should be held accountable for her actions and what she says to your daughter...

I live in Canada and do know that there are limited resources for kids during the winter...but is there a YMCA near you? They offer swimming and activities for kids during the winter months and also during the summer too...Would she be interested in joining Girl Guides,alot of places have them sponsored for the girls with little or no cost to the parents,and it gives your daughter an activity with other girls her age...even some Churches will sponsor a child in Guides or an after school function...

My granddaughter is now in Guides and loves it and goes swimming every Saturday at the Y...she is more outgoing and has alot more self confidence...

I hope all works out for you and your daughter...

Smiles & Hugs...
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Last edited by BuddyBeanieBaby; 03-06-2008 at 10:39 PM.
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Old 03-07-2008, 07:34 AM
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That sock idea is a good one. I will see if she is game. We have tried the girl guides and she did not do well, there were the same bullies there and we have decided not to continue. Her sis went on into being a guider though!

Today she is so depressed that I cannot get her to go to school. She is breaking my heart! Her teacher is wonderful and is being very supportive. He is going to call and try to get her to come in. Bless his heart.

One big complaint I have with our Canadian gov't is that they are all spouting off about childhood obesity and depression, lack of movement etc. and there are no programs available to help these poor children who are seen as statistics. What are we supposed to do? I am sick of it!

Thank you for caring, it is nice to be supported. I am sorry for the rant, but I am frightened for my baby!
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We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.



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Old 03-09-2008, 11:54 AM
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Hi Cooked, The ladies all had some very good ideas. Your daughter is a beautiful person! When my son was about 10 he gained a lot of weight but he was a very active child. He was never bullied by his classmates. What suprised me were the remarks I got about his weight and one was from his teacher. Some adults can be just as cruel as kids. As he got taller the weight just came off. Today he is a handsome man with 3 sons of his own. He has no weight problem. I feel bad that your daughter is going through this and I wish you and her the very best. Hugs...
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Old 03-09-2008, 12:14 PM
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Thanks Happy6, your words are encouraging. She would not go to school the other day and her teacher called her personally and lifted her spirits to the point she could hardly wait to go in. I was astounded! He made me believe in angels!
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That's my story and I'm sticking to it.



Don't get your knickers in a knot It makes you walk funny!
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Old 03-09-2008, 02:42 PM
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Hey Cooked that was great news. There are good teachers out there and people that do care about the children. Hope your dd enjoys school, this is so very important for your dd. Let us know how things work out....Hugs...
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Old 03-09-2008, 02:58 PM
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Cooked my dd has always been on the big side but whenshe was 9 she started depeloving quicker then the other girls her age. We was able to get her into Pals karate other it help her to like herself the way she is,at 16 though she does go through stages of feeling like she doesn't fit in but is working on it & has a great group of kids that support her.Here the Police Alethic League is 25 dollars a year to take karate & if the family has problems with paying that they try to work out something for the family so the child can take it.Its for kids 8 to 18,maybe there is something similer there.Good Luck!
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Old 03-09-2008, 08:34 PM
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She was in Taekwondo but it is $75 a month plus $50 for tests. Too expen$ive!

She is very moody and I am waiting for the weather to break so we can get outside!

Sweetnell, she also is like your dd in that she "matured" very early. I know that makes things hard too. Thanks for all your support!
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We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.



Don't get your knickers in a knot It makes you walk funny!
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Old 03-10-2008, 03:00 AM
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Cooked I know that taking martiel art is high trust me if it hadn't been for Pals here our daughter would have not been able to take it.She has made it to a 2nd degree brown belt unfortuantely they have another school to blend in & she doesn't get along well with one of the teachers who's there most of the time she hasn't been going as much boy we can tell it as her mood swing has been worse since she hasn't been going regularly.She was on dance line last year & she is thinking of going out for it agian & that help alot as they really get a workout of course she's in high school.But yes when they mature early it makes it hard as the other girls are jealous & of course the boys notice even more when they hit middle school.One thing that I've done was to encourage her to be happy for who she is & not her size or what others think but I know thats hard to do.Good Luck& she is in my prayers as are you also.
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