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Old 08-22-2008, 10:50 AM
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Thanks. I will look at Dove. She was on antidepressents for almost 3 years and that did put weight on her. She is still very heavy, but active. Her new school was very good for her. I am a little nervous as to what middle school will be like, for I am sure there will be kids there from the school I pulled her from. I find that if I limit her, she tends to find things to eat and hides it in her room. I find the cores or containers in there later. She knows what she needs to do and wants to do it, but it is so hard. She begins walking 2k to and from school in a week, so we will see! She has found happiness elsewhere and I am ok with that.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 08-22-2008, 10:56 AM
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Cooked, I am sorry to hear of your dd trouble, and I understand your worries. Here is a dual situation just to let you know... I am a mom of three ds's. One has always been thin, and determined not to be a "fighter". He was/is bullied throughout school, and now he has a quick temper because he won't talk to anyone about it. He sees that as being weak. I have tried everything I can to be supportive, but ultimately the decision is his—leaving me to worry. At times he will talk with me, but other times... He also has a bad self-image because if he gets some bulges around his middle, he stops eating. Mind you the boy is 15 lbs. underweight as he is 5 feet 7 inches. The doctor speaks to him every check-up, and the best we have done is keep it to 15 lbs. and no more. My youngest is a "fighter" when pushed, and seems to have a stronger personality. Although as the same with the oldest ds, he has the same phobia of becoming over-weight. There is too much push about this as we never bring up remarks that would have affected them like this. My youngest ds talks more to me, and told me that the pressure is from school, friends, and television--surprise, surprise.
Now my middle ds, he is stocky--short frame, large body mass. He is a "fighter" when pushed too. But, he is always worried about being over-weight. Even with me explaining body mass to them, we still have these problems from both ends of the spectrum. Our doctor has had many discussions with each ds, and this is still where we are at in high school. I kept each of them in physical education classes all through these school years because of the times that you cannot go outside, and there is no cost. We all go on walks, bike rides, and swims when we can weather permitting. I make sure that I do play some basketball, and wrestle with them too, as well as board games. Keeps them from seeing that I mainly want the physical activities, and we all have fun together.
The main key is to make sure that she (and you) are healthy, and then find things that she likes to do without saying why. Also, make sure that she (and you too) talk to someone whether it is family or others. This will keep her mentally healthy, my oldest ds is a prime example as we are still trying hard to get him to keep talking because life continues to cycle. My ds's have never known that we do these things to maintain health; I have always called it family time, and I never made an issue out of it. It is as good for me as them too.
For yourself remember that you are never alone, there are always others who experience the same or similar situations.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 08-22-2008, 11:00 AM
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Cooked, I am glad she has found happiness in other places. What about only having foods in the house that she can eat so that if she sneaks foods, they will be healthy ones. I try to diet during school, and I must say that stress makes one HUNGRY! lol I have seen the commercials about the Dove campaign. I wonder if there are some motivational books for teens and self-esteem and self-efficacy? I wouldn't take a million dollars to go back to that age as it is so difficult.

One other thing that would be good for your DD is journaling. She can look back to see how she is improving. She can get the feelings off her chest and if she needs to share with you or a counselor, she has everything in writing. You can also tell her that only she has the power to control some of her weight and that by sneaking food, she is making a choice to gain weight. She may be glad to know that she has control and power. Sometimes kids think they have no control over their own lives.

I have never agreed with the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words may never hurt me." I think broken bones are easier to mend than hurt feelings.
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Old 08-22-2008, 02:46 PM
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I agree DeBora, words cut like a knife and can take a long time to heal.

I am glad everything is working out. I would check out the Dove site.

Hugs!
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Old 08-23-2008, 08:11 AM
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There are lots of great ideas here. You might try some light therapy. Since you are so far north it may help. I know you can get some type of full spectrum light bulbs that will help simulate the mood lightening effects of sunshine. I have heard of people trying this on their own (Dr.s can prescribe an expensive lamp.) The bulbs might me more expensive than regular bulbs, but not as expensive as the light box from the Dr. You could also try some Leslie Sansome videos. It is very easy & fun too. She calls it walking, but there is very simple aerobic type stuff. Then I just ordered something from ChristianBook.com called Dance Praise something or other. It is about $45 & it has a pad that plugs into the computer & you follow the dance steps to the music. I haven't gotten it in the mail yet. It is good to try a variety of stuff. Maybe one each month as your budget allows.
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Old 08-30-2008, 07:09 AM
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Cooked - I just ran across your post and noticed that it was originally posted in March. I was wondering how your daughter is doing these days.

I too have problems with depression and one thing I have found is that sunlight seems to help some. Not that she has to be outside in the cold weather, but maybe if you can keep the drapes open on your windows during the daytime to let some extra sun in.

Also, have you tried getting her into some crafts or hobbies. I know for me I enjoy just having a sketch pad and gel pens around to doodle with sometimes.

Just a couple of ideas. I hope you will let us know how you all are doing.

P.S. Cooked - I didn't realize that there were a couple of more pages of posts to your thread. I hope that both you and your daughter as doing better.
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Old 08-30-2008, 05:31 PM
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Thank you all! She is doing somewhat better, her size has not changed, but her attitude and friends have. She starts school next week and that will tell us how she is doing. She has gotten into drawing big time and can do it 4 hours a day. No one to go out and play with, and mom and dad are working long hours. We try to get out with her as often as possible but she is very content with her drawing.
Again, thanks everyone, you are all wonderful!
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We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.



Don't get your knickers in a knot It makes you walk funny!
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