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Old 03-10-2008, 11:58 AM
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My oldest dd has some friends that are big and so does my middle dd.I am sure that you will get her to be more active as Spring gets here.But these ladies all gave you some really good ideas.The problemn with girls is that they can be mean at any age or size.My oldest is very skinny and she had a bullying problemn that did go away.I am sure that you will find something that she enjoys doing.The dance company would be alot of fun.I hope all of us can be of a help to you and your dd.

Mish
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Old 03-10-2008, 07:14 PM
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You all have been so kind and I thank you. I have been reading your words and they are helping me to help her. I am saddened that it has happened to so many, but am lifted that they have overcome.

She is doing a little better today and I think it helps that the sun was out and it was so much warmer outside. It also helps that I am so much calmer with her thanks to all of your advice and support.
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Old 03-11-2008, 04:54 AM
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If you do the research their is all kinds of information on the web pages.I know for me I did all kinds of research on it.Knowlege is power and she will be ok.

Mish
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Old 03-14-2008, 12:58 PM
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Cooked, I am so very sorry about your DD's situation. It sounds to me like you are dealing with a child with a poor self-image and a poor self-esteem. Unforatunately, other children are like vultures when it comes to that. They will bully and be mean to children who have poor self-images, whether or not they are smart, pretty, and whatever. You need to get her into some sort of cognitive-behavior therapy, if possible, so she can gain some tools to change her behavior and cognitive distortions ("I'm stupid, I'm fat, I'm ugly, and so on).

She can learn to find ways to exercise without spending any money. She can learn to like herself no matter what she looks like. It is a growing process, which takes time. It will be important for her to get a therapist that she can connect with. If she doesn't like him/her, go somewhere else. Don't waste time with someone she does not like. Sometimes churches offer free therapy too.

If you feel that your DD might be suicidal or feels hopeless, remind yourself that funerals are more costly in monetary value and emotional value. It wouldn't be a bad idea to find out if there is group therapy for yourself. It is difficult to watch our children suffer. Group therapy is an excellant way to gain support from other parents. I don't know if Canada has free therapy for those who cannot afford it, but it is worth checking into.

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Old 03-14-2008, 01:51 PM
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Cooked im sorry to hear about your daughters situation. I think a lot of the time its now out of the childrens hands in problems with being overweight. Food now-a-days contain so many hormones its making our children develop at a rapid pace, one that their bodies cannot keep up with. It's also a shame that going organic is too expensive and most cannot afford to go all the way. Has your daughter ever been into dance? I see you said taekwondo but i feel these classes include a lot of sit-down time and not enough constant movement. Maybe there are other activities shes into?
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Old 03-14-2008, 05:32 PM
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I love women role models who have confidence and are big. I think Tyra Banks is one, and Queen Latifah, and the lead in Hairspray, and many of the singers on American Idol.

I don't know about dance, might be okay, depends on the teacher. Some schools are too harsh with weight and subtly the daughter will feel worse, others appreciate the individual and overweight is not more important than being healthy and exercising.

Walking is great exercise becasue there is so much to look at and be involved with as you walk.
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Old 03-15-2008, 09:07 AM
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Cooked , I agree with all the others wholeheartedly. My kids used to love it when we put on fast music and we all danced around the house, exercise without seeming like it. Do you have a mall close by? On weekends have the 2 of you or the family take up mall walking until the weather gets nice. My kids also loved it when we rode bikes after dinner when the weather breaks. Also try to get her involved in cooking , kids tend to try what they make. I would not make it just low fat food just try healthy cooking in general. Good Luck & keep us paosted on how she is doing
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Old 03-15-2008, 05:00 PM
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The first thing I would do is say...
Lets go to the doctor for a check up to see that you are healthy. Then the two of you can sit down and make a healthy eating plan and exercise program. The best way to start is walking. Swimming is also good.
Have her make a list of her favorite foods and then cut back on some of them.
Example...if her favorite is pizza, limit it to once a week, two slices and salad.
Limit soda to 1 serving a day.
I'm diabetic and went crazy when I wasn't drinking coke, so I allow myself 1 can of coke in the evening.
See if there are any of her friends who would like to join her in her walking or other activities.
No weighing in every day. Once a week is sufficient.
But the most important thing is to check with the doctor first.
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Old 08-22-2008, 10:13 AM
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Cooked, is there any free counseling services anywhere? Maybe a professional can work with your DD about how she shouldn't worry about what others think of her. It can be very difficult for girls when everywhere we look there are sexy models. We try to measure up to those women who have had the fat airbrushed away. If you decide that she needs to get on an anti-depressant, remember that they can also cause weight gain, so she will need to exercise even more than normal. Good luck with her this school year.
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Old 08-22-2008, 10:41 AM
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How about visiting dove.com, they ar running some kind of campaign to help girols with their image.
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