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Toddlers What did your toddler do today? Is he getting into everything? Tell us all about the smiles and frustrations here!

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Old 02-09-2003, 02:28 PM
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Hi there! My son was a little bit older when we had our daughter (3 1/2), but I'll tell you what worked for us...
We included him right from the beginning when we knew we were pregnant. We explained to him that there was a baby in Mama's belly and that he would be an older brother like Mama has an older brother and so on. We always referred to the baby as "our baby", not "the baby", so that he would feel a part of the picture as well. This worked really well for us, and we continued it well past the birth.
Once my son understood that there was a baby in mama's belly he wasn't too terribly interested. He would ask the occasional question, but that was it. When my daughter was born he wanted to hold her (we let him) and he had lots of pictures taken with her, and then he lost interest.
He too did a lot of heavy lovin' on her, and wasn't the most gentle, but babies are tougher than they look and will survive.
Another thing that was a big hit was a present from the baby. He did ask how the baby was able to shop for a present for him, but a 20 year old probably won't

Anyhow, good luck to you, and when it looks bad try and remember that this too, shall pass.

Stacey
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Old 02-09-2003, 03:57 PM
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Hi all thanks for all the great info. We have taken her to every appointment, and ultrasounds. My first ultrasound I have on tape and put it in for her every once and awhile. I have a website with his ultrasound pics on it, and we look at that maybe once a day. We call the baby "Our baby" all the time or by his name (Tyler). After everything I do everyone still tells me how jealous she will be, and how I need to watch the baby ever so carefully she may try to sufficate him, or tip the bassinet over. By no means is/has she EVER been mean to any baby, I just cant see her doing mean things like folks say they have seen kids do. Thanks again !


Winnie
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Old 02-09-2003, 06:33 PM
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Well then ...

It sounds as though things should go very smoothly. I wouldn't worry about it. God bless and good luck! Keep us posted!
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Old 02-09-2003, 08:02 PM
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You are a wonderful and loving mother and I wouldn't worry about what other people say. Of course you always need to watch the baby and watch the older child around them, but just remember that the older child is only doing what you do and when they see you pick up the baby when it is crying, then they want to please you by helping out and pick up the crying baby. Enjoy this time with your small children, because they grow up too fast!!!
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Old 02-10-2003, 06:16 AM
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My older kids took a Big Brother/Big Sister class at the hospital where I was to deliver. That made them feel very important. Also, the new babies always bring home a present for their bb or bs. It made them feel that all the attention wasn't placed on the new baby, but that they were still important and still loved!

I also have the kids sing and talk to my belly so they can get used to "having baby around" and include baby in things. Then when the new baby would cry, I would say something like "oh, bb and/or bs, sing a song to baby so he/she will calm down." Usually the baby responds, at least for a little while and it makes the kids feel like only they can calm baby and make baby happy.

Usually the kids would want to help and I'd find ways for them to do so. Mommy needs a diaper, a toy, etc and they'd go off to find it to help with the baby.

My dd got a new doll from her baby sister when she can home and she did whatever mommy did to the new baby with her baby. It was very cute. I highly recommend a doll if your dd is into them, b/c it nutures them to be gentle and loving. This is very helpful when they are close together in age. My girls are 23 months apart, where as my son was 3 1/2 before getting a sibling. The third one will be 26 months when baby number for arrives in July.

Good luck! I hope these ideas may help you out.

Oh, and congratulations!

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Old 02-10-2003, 07:18 AM
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I just wanted to clarify that when I posted a word of caution about leaving your dd alone with the new baby it wasn't because I assume she would try to hurt him. Only that from experience I know that children sometimes are not aware that what they are doing to show love and affection can be too rough for a new baby. I am sure that your dd will be a wonderful big sister, and I wouldn't necessarily worry over what other people say. Just remember, sometimes people are not aware that their often unasked for opinion is not warranted or wanted, and often times can be on the damaging side.

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 02-10-2003, 06:20 PM
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Oh no I never thought you might have suggested harm. Just people or friends of the family around me, have said some things along the lines of harm She got her "Baby" for christmas. She has her moments, but I keep telling her to be nice and gentle withe the baby For the most part she usually is, but as I said she has her moments lol Thanks all for great suggestions


Winnie
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Old 02-11-2003, 05:06 AM
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Little kids are smart. They know the difference between their baby dolls and their new baby siblings. Yes, they do get a little excited sometimes and hug to hard or try and get them out of the nip nap or something, but they know the difference.

My neighbor however, didn't really prepare her first born and the baby was pretty much a surprise to her. She wasn't all that nice to her new baby brother and still isn't to this day. (much of this is due to the fact that it's allowed to go on, but that's another story.) Preparation is the key to it all. If kids know what to expect then they are ready for changes. If things are sprung on them, espcially when they are younger, their emotions rule them and they don't know how to express them. That's when things happen. They are unintentional, but can be harmful to babies.

Babies, however, are quite resilient as well. A little extra tight hug is not going to hurt them, though they may not enjoy it all that much! Too much confinement!

Don't worry. People have been having siblings for years and it almost always works out just fine!

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Old 03-04-2015, 12:53 PM
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Get her involved with as many aspects of the babies daily care that you can, and make her feel needed. i.e. Sweetie, can you sit and hold the baby for a few minutes for mommy while she does this or that, or, I could really use your help changing the baby, can you help me?
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