bedtime

[sunflower23]

I have two girls ages 5 and 2. They share a room (and a bed) and bedtime is a constant struggle. They refuse to go to sleep at night. It is a minimum of a two hour battle each night. We just cannot get them to stay in bed and go to sleep. We have tried putting them to bed at separate times, earlier bedtimes, later bedtimes but nothing works. How can we get them to go to sleep?

thanks in advance

[MrsRoseofShara]

This is a common problem. There are many possible "helps." Do they take naps? You might try limiting their afternoon naps so they're tired at night. A warm bath at night helps to make them sleepy. Consistency. The same bedtime routine every night is a must and they need quiet time before bed, perhaps being read to.

I would also consider telling them that if they are not tucked into bed and quiet by a certain time each night, they must start their bedtime routine 15 minutes earlier the next night.

Take heart it will get better. There will come a time when they go to bed, you turn out the light and go off to do the dishes only to fine that they've turned the light back on and are reading, playing or watching TV.

Good luck to you. I remember when my son was 2... I had to sit in a chair in his room every night to get him to go to sleep.

[Bilby]

Hi
I do agree that you need a bedtime routine, then cleaning teeth, kissing goodnight, going to bed, story, etc in an order become a habit. Im sorry but my boys haven't had to share a bed but they have shared a room. Being early risers, 5am, they tended to prod each other to see who was awake first.
I also have sat in the doorway just out of sight and every now and then say something so they don't see me but hear me and I sneak out and just come back for a comment and then find they're asleep. It's just persistance I'm afraid.
Maybe if the older one was told she could stay up 1/2 hr later because she is the older sister (make it sound like a big responsibility and fun) that may help. She might like to help put little sister to bed. Maybe a way to get single beds? bunks? divider?
I wish you luck, I can say my boys sleep like logs now and are reasonably easy to get to bed and once there stay put.

[uismother]

I had the same problem with one of mine. The other sister in the room would go to sleep just fine but # 2 was keeping people awake and refusing to stay in bed. Finally we just gave up and my husband spanked her every time she got out of bed. After 3 spankings she stayed in bed. The next night she stayed awake a long time but did not get up. After about a week she went through her pre-bed routine and sailed right along into sleep like she needed to. We hated to have to spank her but the improvement came just weeks before I gave birth again and really turned everything around for all of us. She wasn't tired during the day anymore and quit being so crabby and I was getting my sleep now at night too and was much calmer and a better mother. She's a senior in high school now and the best of kids. I know a spank is not for everyone but if she's old enough to know what she's doing it's an option. Good luck to you all.

[Dianna]

What I use to do with my children is I would put one in my bed and the other in their own, this way when it was time for me and my DH to retire for the night, we would pick him up and put him in his own bed and they were both asleep. The next night we would let the other one sleep in our bed and it gave them a sense of being so very special that night... It always worked for us.....Good luck and God bless.

[MrsRoseofShara]

That's a great idea Dianna. I've done that before too. Sometimes you just have to separate them.

[DAWeitekamp]

When our dd was about the age of yours (she's 15 now), we found a kitchen timer to be a big help at bed time. For some reason, she wouldn't "argue" with the timer like she would with us. We would let her know we were setting the timer for 5 minutes; and when the timer went off, it was time for pj's, teeth brushing, etc. If she cooperated and completed her before bed routine with no fuss, we then set the timer and had cuddle time, read books, or played a game. As soon as the timer went off, she knew it was bed time and off she went! Even her grandparents would use a timer, if she was at their house (because she insisted on them setting it!) Hope this helps

[ida]

hi there,
try this 15 minutes before bedtime let the children look at books, maybe that will help them to get sleepy. ida

[sunflower23]

I think that perhaps we do need to get into a better bedtime routine. We do have one but it is not as consistent as it should be I am afraid. Perhaps more reading time would be a good thing too. We do read at night but i think we will try more. Putting them in separate beds to go to sleep in is something that I do not think would work for us but it is a good thought. Spanking does not work. That is really the only time that they would get spanked and it only settles them down for a minute. I will try the timer. That may work. And by the way the reason why they sleep in the same bed is because they have bunk beds. My two year old can climb up but not climb down. If her sister is on the top bunk she will climb up and I am afraid that she will fall. So I make her sister sleep on the bottom with her. I am worried about the two year old getting hurt (she is very good at that ) Thanks for all the great ideas

[MrsRoseofShara]

Sunflower, that's a very good reason for them to be sleeping in the same bed. It is also a short-lived problem. When the two year old gets a little bigger, you can put her down first in the bottom bed and then in half an hour or so put the older one down in the top bunk. In your own time, when you feel she is old enough.

By the way, remember.... this entire problem is a short-lived one. They will grow out of this problem and into 100 more.