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Toddlers What did your toddler do today? Is he getting into everything? Tell us all about the smiles and frustrations here!

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 10-22-2002, 08:57 PM
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Alright guys, I poled holes in the end of the only paci we have left and i am not so sure he even noticed!! lol And as for you MsRose! Please, Please , Please don't tell me boys are harder!!! <sniff> He already has an attitude!! The bossy little ummmm Sweetie!! lol That's ok.. Mom used to say "This too shall pass" And we will get through it! lol I just hope I am not all grey headed by then!
Mary
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 10-22-2002, 11:45 PM
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I've been reading these suggestions and think they will work depending on the child.

I never did a bottle with any of my girls, I have 3, so I didn't have any problems with that. I went straight from nursing to a sippy cup, and I had no problems with weaning them in about a weeks time.

My 2nd daughter who is 3, sucks her thumb when she is tired and she has a blanket that she likes to cuddle with quite frenquently. My MIL made it for her a couple Christmas's ago and she has loved it since then.

My 3rd daughter who just turned 2 had a binky for awhile. It was one the girls used for their dolls and ended up one day in Megan's mouth while she was playing the role of the baby. She started liking it. She had it about 2 months and my husband was leaving to go out of town and asked her if he could take it with him, she said yes and that's the last we saw that thing. She asked about it for a couple of days but soon forgot about it.

As far as potty training, I was the only girl with one younger brother and three older. My Mom had them all potty trained by 18 mo. and me by 15 mo. She said it was because she used cloth diapers and that they knew when they had to go so she forced the issue.

My kids are all 21 months apart, I had each one potty trained before their 20 mo. mark. I refused to have 2 children in diapers at the same time unless they were twins. My Mom said I waited too long and was onto me about getting them done. I had no problems with it at all. I did not do pull ups, no rewards other than saying "good girl." When I was ready, we went to the store and I held up about 3 choices of little girl panties for them to choose from. They picked the ones they wanted and we went straight to panties. We did have a few accidents but none with bm's. It only took a few times for them to wet their new panties to not like that at all. I never did a potty seat other than purchasing a plain white padded insert to help keep them from falling in.

I think kids get to a point where they don't care much anymore. I know in some other Countries the kids are potty trained by the time they are walking. I felt my kids could understand many things and they knew when it felt like they had to use the bathroom.

I don't think pushing the issue makes for mal-adjusted children. My kids all have very high self esteem, they are confident self assured little kids. But they are still kids. Like I said though, I did not want to have 2 kids in diapers, I felt they were plenty old enough to be potty trained and I was not going to have my child speaking to me clearly and telling me they would not use the toilet. I felt my money could be going to better use than on diapers for an older child.

My friends though are not the same as me. Their children are NOT potty trained before they are 3 or 4. They don't have the patience to do it like I do. They prefer to wait until their children are older and do it on their own. They ask me all the time, "Tell me how you do it, again?" But they can't do it. They say their child "tells" them they won't do it. Hmm.

And since none of you know me, you might be thinking I'm this hard nose child driving tyrant. So untrue! I'm the sweetest best friend you could ever know! I just feel that there are certain things that are my responsibility to instill in my children and getting them past the potty training quickly was one of them. There was no need for diapers. I know my children enjoy being children without some bulky stinky diaper stuck to their body.

I hope I haven't offended anyone, that was not my intention. I'm just giving my opinion and what has worked for me. I'm very nice and compassionate but insistent. I do not let my children dictate to me their schedule and when they want to do whatever they want, we can discuss things and work something out, even at their very young age. They are much smarter little people than most adults give them credit for.

And I have to disagree with the Pediatrician that says children are not "really" potty trained before 2. I have 3 little living proofs and my brothers and I and the many other relatives in my family that can be the contrary to that.

I just say do what you feel is right, don't let the child or anyone else tell you the "right" way. But do be persistent, you will all be much happier when it is done. Why wait when you know it can be done sooner, unless there is a medical or mental problem keeping them from completing.
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Megan - 3
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Last edited by 3msmom; 10-22-2002 at 11:50 PM.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 10-23-2002, 05:56 AM
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I agree with being persistent. You didn't offend me but I must say that your experience isn't the norm and the fact that you simply decided they would be trained and they were is commendable. I just wanted to comment that for most of us, it wasn't that easy. I assure you that I was persistent and my children didn't tell me they wouldn't train, they simply had a hard time of it. Or, my son did.

My children are 8 and 9 now. I had two in diapers at the same time because they are 3 days less than a year apart. It was difficult in the beginning but is wonderful now.

As to luvies.... my son has a stuffed duck that he still sleeps with at age 8 and my daughter has her baby blanket that she sleeps with. I feel no need to take them from them. My son carried his around longer than my daughter did and still goes and gets it when he's sick or sad. I think it was age 6 or so that I said duckey had to stay home from now on. I want to point out that it was mostly to keep him from losing him by putting him down in a store or something rather than because I was embarassed my kids had luvies. My daughter switched hers to a sleep help long before my son did but I think that's just a case of girls maturing faster than boys.

I'm certainly no expert except that I've raised two well-adjusted and great kids up to the ages of 8 and 9, but these are my kids and not yours. Yours are different, I'm sure. My only real advice in this is do what you feel is best for your child rather than what "experts" tell you to do.
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Old 10-23-2002, 08:35 AM
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I was not offended by what you wrote. It is impertant not to let your kids be in control. There are not enough parents anymore that do that now days. lol (that made me sound like an old lady!) I have enjoyed this discussion very much. So many tips from other moms! Kinda cool I guess my friend said it best. "Things like this is kinda like eating chicken, you eat the good part (the part that sounds right to you) and you throw the bones and the other stuff out" Well, my son and I are off to watch a Blue's Clues video! (again) Hope everyone has a great day enjoying being a parent and spending time with their kids!
Mary
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Old 10-26-2002, 01:23 PM
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Thanks everyone for all the great things that worked for you. If you have more, keep them coming.

Thanks
Jennifer Caton
www.SharingPreciousTimes.com
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 10-28-2002, 09:23 PM
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Question What about thumb-sucking??

My almost 3-year-old stepson sucks his thumb and carries his blanket 24/7.

He is becoming a LITTLE less dependent on the blanket - has to have one near-by though. And, if there are more than one around, he needs all he sees - so he often carries 2 or 3. Lately, he'll play or do some things without a blankie, but especially needs it if he's cranky or not feeling well.

He sucks his thumb most of the time. In fact, to the point of infection around his nailbed. He'll suck, then pull it out and show it saying "boo-boo", but then right back it in goes. Out again in a moment, "owie! boo-boo!", then more sucking. I explain to him that sucking is giving the boo-boo, so then he'll suck another finger for a couple minutes, then back to the "boo-boo thumb".
I've tried explaining that big boys don't suck thumbs, etc, and then he'll try to not suck it, but minutes later - back in it goes.

(a little background - he was quite preemie and about 2 1/2 lbs at birth. his birth-mom left when he was about 4 months old, and his dad, my fiance, had him alone until I came into the picture. think this may have something to do with making him feel insecure? He was so so so little when she left - I can't imagine he has much memory...?)

Anyway - I'd like to try to get him a bit less dependent on his thumb, for health reasons - it keeps getting infected, and he WILL NOT keep a bandage on it. Poking a hole in it or cutting off the top won't work here... ;-)
Anyone have any ideas??
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 10-29-2002, 03:35 AM
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That's a tough one. He obviously needs the security of it and honestly at that age, it's perfectly normal for him to do so, especially with his background. However, the infection in the thumb means it's time to give it up. There are products that you can buy which make the thumb taste bad. You might try switching him to a binkie but I doubt that would work. He's too old now and is trained to suck the thumb.

Try the bad tasting stuff... talk to your pediatrician. As for the blankies... make sure he's only got one of his blankets at a time. Keep the others washed and put away, switch them often so he doesn't say the others smell wrong and wont take them. One thing I learned for sure is that he'll need them for many years and one just wont take the beating.

If he learns to suck another finger, great. Give the thumb a break. I can tell you that peer pressure in pre-school or kindergarten will finally break him of that habit. I've seen kids sucking their thumbs and then when one of their friends looks their way, out comes the thumb. Back in... gets noticed, out it comes. It's a sure-fire method.

Good luck. He's a lucky boy to have a step-mother who loves him enough to worry this much about him. I'm proud of you.



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Old 10-30-2002, 04:13 AM
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Instantmom ~ I have to agree with MrsRose. You must be one fantastic person and stepmom! My hat's off to you. I wish that I had some good advice that hasn't already been shared. Pre-school will definatly help with the peer pressure. I know that non of the 3 yr olds in my DS class don't suck their thumbs. Or atleast not in class. I think that when they see other kids their age NOT doing it, then they realize that it's time to give it up. But on the other hand, they pick up other wonderful things from pre-school. LOL

I know that my cousin used to put black pepper on his DS's thumb to get him to stop sucking. Then again he sucked his thumb until he was about 7 yrs old. I would definatly speak with the doctor and see what he can suggest. Maybe wrapping the thumb in gauze, but then again you would most likely want to leave it open so the air can get to it and heal it. Tough one.

Good luck and I commend you!

Tammy
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Old 10-30-2002, 08:20 PM
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Thought I would let everyone know that I cut a hole in son's binky and it didn't work so I just kinda made the thing magically disappear. He hasn't asked for it once!! This is the second night he has went to bed without it!! I am thrilled!! Thanks for all the input cause it did make me think and really do what is ultiamtely best for him. Thanks
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Old 10-31-2002, 12:11 AM
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Congratulations, Mary!

My son carries 2 ducks and a blanket around. Today, he is 3.

Yesterday, we went to my OB/GYN for my prenatal appointment, HE told me that we needed to leave them in the car.

Then, when we came home, he said he did not want to take them to the Mall Trick o Treating! And after we came home, I noticed an hour later, that they were in the exact same spot as where he left them 3 hours earlier!

I, honestly, don't mind that he needs these. I just would like him to do what we did today. Because next Fall, he will start pre-school, and they won't let him carry this around! And I don't want anyone to tease him about it either.

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