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Toddlers What did your toddler do today? Is he getting into everything? Tell us all about the smiles and frustrations here!

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  #41 (permalink)  
Old 05-23-2007, 05:38 PM
cherryPOP's Avatar
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Just my silly opinion :)

I'm new to this board but found this topic interesting. As a parent of a child that is autistic, his behavour is unpredictable on a daily basis. One day, he'll stay right next to me and the next day he's running into the street. He has no fear of cars or danger in general. I've been looking into getting him a harness for when we go anywhere that has the risk of him getting hit by a car (either the grocery store or whatever) because I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing I could have prevented it. To the ones that want to criticize or say that I should learn to hold my childs hand, maybe you shouldn't judge until you walk in that other person's shoes for a day and realize that maybe, just maybe, they're doing everything they can and need a little help.
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  #42 (permalink)  
Old 05-23-2007, 06:20 PM
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CherryPop, welcome to FC! Be sure to pop over to the Introduce yourself so that others can greet you.
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  #43 (permalink)  
Old 05-23-2007, 07:06 PM
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Before kids, I never liked harnesses for kids. Now that I have kids and live in an area where no matter where you are, there are people and cars everywhere, I have changed my opinions. IMO, there is no safe way to allow you little ones to walk in a store, mall or sidewalk without having some reinforcements-- unless you can promise yourself to give your child your absolute 100% attention the WHOLE time. (and we all know that this is impossible).

O'Pair makes a really cute set. Mom wears one and the child wears the other part. Amanda (our webmom) gave me a set from this company when I had my daughter. It came in very handy at times.

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  #44 (permalink)  
Old 05-23-2007, 07:33 PM
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Tami, those are so adorable!!! I wish they had these types when my children were small instead of the type that looks like they were purchased in a pet store. lol
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  #45 (permalink)  
Old 05-24-2007, 02:47 AM
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Hi CherryPop and welcome I hope you enjoy your visits to FC!
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  #46 (permalink)  
Old 05-24-2007, 10:58 AM
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I used a harness and leash for my youngest,he was forever wandering off.There is a thing you can use now that looks like a scrunchy and it has elastic that connects the mom to the child.kind of along the same line that ajrsmom posted.
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  #47 (permalink)  
Old 04-05-2008, 05:27 AM
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I have to say that I was glad that most of the comments regarding use of leashes was positive! I do have to comment to those who were quite disparaging about them.
I have 2 year old twins. Enough said! I have always taken them out on my own, in their double stroller, however about a month ago, they began to protest use of it saying that they want to "WALK!!" I don't want to have to wait for my husband or someone else to be with me before I take them places and I don't want to be cooped up in the house either. So I have decided to look into the safest leash to use with them. Safety is the key word here because that is the only reason why I would use it in the first place. I'm not saying that I have it harder than others who have many children of different ages, but there is a certain dynamic that exists with twins that people who do not have multiples never seem to understand! My twins are good listeners and well behaved, but lets face it, they are 2, and I can't expect them to fully understand the concept of safety and needing to stay with mommy when we are out. So I would rather be safe than sorry. Quite honestly, I don't think I would care if people had something to say to me about it. They are probably the same people who, when seeing me out by myself with the twins when they were younger, would say "I'm glad I'm not you" or "I could never have twins"

That being said I think that people should respect other people's choices, even if they do not agree with them. I wonder if those people who say that "leashes are for dogs" would feel the same way after they took my toddler twins out, either screaming in the stroller, or running in 2 different directions out of the stroller??
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Old 11-11-2008, 11:35 AM
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I use the leash for my 5 year old Autistic son and you have know idea the amount of stress it relieves. He doesn't understand that if you go into the street and a car is coming it can hit you and die. He is alot faster and quiter than most children. Because he doesn't communicate using his voice we sometimes don't hear him until it is to late. My grandpa once gave me some sound advice. "Never judge a pair of shoes without first trying them on and walking to the market before you decide to buy them". I live by that everyday and whatever makes a mom feel more secure in the safety of their child is not for us to judge but to admire. As far as not paying attention to her child, lets be real and admit that no one puts 100% focus on their children 100% of the time, leash or not. Children need to learn that a parent can have a conversation with someone else and it means nothing more than having a conversation with another person, not that the parent is irresponsible. If everyone put as much focus on the positives in life instead of the negatives life would be a warmer place to be and we all might just learn something.

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Old 11-14-2008, 10:14 AM
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I admit I am not a parent, so my opinion may be one-sided, but please do not skip over my two cents worth. My parents never used any form of harness/leash with my sister and I as we were growing up, of course we didn't have malls and stores (late 1960's - early 1980's) like we do now, and I just could not stay still to save my life. Fast forward to 2000 something - both my sister (myside), and my BIL (DH's side) have never used a harness/leash and both of them have young children - my sister who has a 1st grade Girl and a Kindegarten Boy will be more then happy to tell you that a harness/leash could help on their outings, but she finds them to be degrading. My BIL on the other hand has a 3 yo girl and a 4yo boy (and a 12yo boy - same mom all 3) - he also doesnot believe in the harness/leash and has never used them. His reason, it's just as easy for a perpatrater to remove a child from those contraptions just as easily as if they're not on them. He feels it is his obligation to give the children one of two options when they are out either you hold an adults hand or you sit in the wagon/stroller (stroller is always brought along for "tiredness"). Now I understand the childsafety speaker who reminds adults about how tired childrens arms can get when held up for long periods at a time - but if parents have a secure open relationship w/their young children they should have no problems listening when a child says "Change hands" or "stop tired arm." Personally I would find it a relief to stop in one of those "child playgrounds" some malls and airports have now for the child to run off energy and get the blood flowing back into their arms. I know time is short for a lot of parents and there is always something that has to be done today - but tomorrow your little one may be all grown up and your gonna want that time back with them (as Trace Atkins song "You're Gonna Miss This" explains). As I mentioned, when I was little there was no leashes/harness and my parents did a great job w/my sister and I - it really does take patience, time, and active want to be with them to allow their freedom and security with out the contraptions. So in answer to the question is it a false security? IMHOO, Yes.
If you see someone in need of help and you can do something, then do something — that goes for people and animals. If you can help out, try. That’s what I hope people take away from this.” -Alex Scroggins
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Old 11-14-2008, 10:39 AM
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I have said this before. The first time I saw a harness was when I was pregnant with my second child. My first was in his terrible two's. I couldn't run without peeing in my pants and being preggers, I couldn't run very fast. My DS would run out in front of a car, while my hands were full of groceries, before I could save his life.

When I first saw a parent with a harness, I thought, "Oh my! Those parents are treating their children like dogs!!!!" But, once I was pregnant and couldn't run like I use to and had my hands full of groceries and my DS who was 2 was running into dangerous areas, I realized WHO probably invented this gadget! Some kids listen to their parents about stopping before a car hits them and others are more intune to just running and playing. They could care less that their mother is warning them of danger. Children at a young age don't think about death or injury--even if their mother warns them of it.

When I had a daycare center, we took tours and we had a rope with knots on every several inches. Each child had to be responsible for each knot. This worked very well. But, parents and caregivers have to consider what works for their particular situation and we shouldn't judge until we have walked a mile in that person's shoes. jmo
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