biting/pinching

RoseK82 · #1 (**permalink**) 07-04-2004, 03:02 PM

omg...how do i stop it...saturday my DF and i were sitting there...i was holding his 2 yr old victor...when all of a sudden the lil one grabbed my face and pinched it...that lil boy has such a grip...it hurt...but anyhows...i yelled no and said bad boy...then they informed me that they don't say bad boy...so how in the world does he know he's doing something bad...also he's still on his bottle aren't they supposed to be out of this stage by now...

barbszy · #2 (**permalink**) 07-06-2004, 06:55 AM

Rose, every kid is different and every parent is different.

It is so hard when the child is not your own and you are in the position when the child needs to be disciplined.

I have no qualms about disciplining my sister's children (or my neighbor's, as we are close) and they do the same. I find though, that our styles are very similar.

DH has disciplined one of his brother's kids and THAT did not go over well because they don't do things the way we do.

My youngest son was just 2 when we took him off the bottle. But he only got one at bedtime and he had to be in someone's lap to have it. My other 2 were done with it by 18 months.

As far as the pinching goes, it IS appropriate to hold the child's hands tightly without hurting the child and looking at them sternly & firmly saying "We don't pinch." I am sure you were taken by surprise and just reacted by instinct! I know that my big kids will take their little brother's hands and say "Not nice! No hitting!" and I think that's a good way to handle it with any child you come in contact with.

RoseK82 · #3 (**permalink**) 07-06-2004, 09:56 AM

thank you...i'm hoping i can correct this problem...i know i only get him on the weekends...but i need to try something...

mom2-4 · #4 (**permalink**) 06-19-2008, 08:55 PM

I am hoping someone can help me with this issue.

My son has this same habit, although, add to it hitting, and biting!

I have been using the holding hands firmly and firmly saying NO.

He thinks it is funny he laughs. And and laughs, as he is struggling to loosen himself, to repeat the action. And is pulls his arms up to get my hands closer to his mouth, of course to bite them.

I have at established a "bad boy chair". Which it does seem to deter his bad habit(s) when I mention it. But, this is at home, what can I do when out and about? Cause he knows exactly what the "bad boy chair" is. He actually walked over and sat on it once when I asked him if he wanted time in it.

barbszy · #5 (**permalink**) 06-20-2008, 05:37 AM

Karen, can you hold him in your lap but facing away from you, and use your arms to hold his arms down (cross your arms over his body & arms)? It won't hurt him but he will know it's not "play time."

It's so hard with little kids because they haven't yet learned impulse control.

That is funny that he knows about the bad boy chair--but I guess it would be hard when you're not home.

Sammi1961 · #6 (**permalink**) 06-27-2008, 03:20 PM

The words I used when my children were little or use now with my dc children are more towards what they are doing is naughty, not them personally. Like I would say, "No biting, biting hurts!" I get down to their level and look them right in the face with a stern look. Or I might say, "No pinching. Not nice!" Young children usually only remember the last 3 words that you say so if you say something like "don't hit your sister" they hear "hit your sister" (and it can also put the idea into their head lol) But if you say 'Hitting your sister is not nice" they will hear "is not nice" Sometimes when a child catches us by surprise with their behavior, we often react first without thinking. I think the best we can do is try to let the child know the behavior is unacceptable and that we will not tolerate it. Getting down to their level, speaking in a firm tone, and when that doesn't work, a time out (playpens work well for toddlers who won't sit) or put an older child in their room with a baby gate or a closed door. (my pediatrician told me as long as I can hear the child and know he is safe, it is ok to close the door.

mom2-4 · #7 (**permalink**) 06-30-2008, 05:34 AM

ooohhh I like the play pen idea, I will have to get the pack 'n play out!

Although, finally last night Dad stepped in, or should I say received a series of blows from DS! Finally, well, not finally, but, Dad thought I was just being a jerk with DS. Until last night when he got hit several times, and DH repeatedly told him NO very sternly. And DS just laughed at him. Finally, DH got up out of his chair grasped his arm, and told him that was enough, DS did stop. So we will see how this goes.

I mean I have had a problem with my other kids hitting. But, that was when they were not getting their way, got mad at someone (all at "appropriate" settings). And we were able to deter it. But, this is just out of hand, he just walks up to someone and just clobbers them. And let me tell you it freaking hurts for such a young child! It does tend to escalate more so when he is tired, which is understandable, but, at other times, i just can't figure out why!

Sammi1961 · #8 (**permalink**) 06-30-2008, 09:13 AM

mom2-4, sometimes children just hit just because it gets a big reaction. It sure can cause a lot of commotion. Hopefully your ds will get through this stage quickly.

mom2-4 · #9 (**permalink**) 07-07-2008, 03:57 AM

Okay, so I got the pac n' play out to put DS in when he would hit.

He thought this was fun! and than he decided to learn to get in and out of it on his own. Than he would throw stuff into it. Get back in, and than throw the stuff at us and laugh.

So, other than taking up a lot of room in the living room, the "locking" him up didn't do anything. So, back to the bad boy chair we go.

I really hope that as soon as he can communicate better, this hitting/biting/pinching stage passes.