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Old 05-14-2002, 06:18 AM
sue witt's Avatar
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Question i am having the hardest time staying at home

I know to be frugal you need to stay at home. i left my job and i have been burning up the road. I know it cost money just for gas even when i dont buy anything. I have been helping my MIL alot taking here to the doctor dmv or just about any other place you can think of. And i dont mind doing this because she is almost 70 and i really dont want her to drive. the other family members will not help out. and then they make comments calling me number 1 or that i am her favorite. i am getting off of the subject. everyday i have somewhere to go or something just comes up and i have to go do it. i try to plan and tell myslef that i am going to stay home and like always something comes up and i have to leave. my house is spotless and i have organized everything and i even got a bunch of stuff ready for the yardsale. i just need a few tips on how to stay at home. like today i want to go get strawberrys and make jam and can some of them for pies and cobblers then i will go to my cousins house and show here my coupon book and try to organize her one and i am going to get her bread maker and borrow that for a while i have to go to the pharmacy and get my birthcontrol today is the last day gotta do that. tomorrow is bill paying day i wait until the last minutue to where i can mail i have to go pay but that is the way hubby's check falls. the list goes on and on . got any good tips? please tell me i am thinking about giving hubby my keys and so i have to stay home at least one day thanks sue
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Old 05-14-2002, 06:55 AM
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It goes in cycles like that for me too Sue. My only tip would be to plan your errands and trips at the beginning of the week so that maybe you only have to "go" a couple of times during the week. There's nothing wrong with taking MIL to dr.'s etc.... but maybe you could also add your pharmacy trip and supermarket trip to that one....? That's sort of what I do. For a while when dd first went off to college and I was here alone for the first time in 24 yrs. I found that I was making lots of one stop trips to town (17 miles). So I am working on consolidating trips all that I can. That way I have a little time to do things like play here and CLEAN. That's what I don't wanna do!
"Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy" *John Denver*
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Old 05-14-2002, 07:56 AM
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I am just the opposite. I never go anywhere unless I just have to. It's a 15-20 minute run to pick up the boys from school and I normally make no other stops. I have to make one other stop today but that is very unusual. I've been making myself go to bible study on Wednesday mornings and while I'm always glad I went, I really have to push myself. I just like being home. My husband is the same way, so when he's not traveling, we basically stay in together all day.LOL I have no family in town, though, so that makes a big difference. My mil will be moving here, but for right now it's just us and the kids. I think you should be really proud of yourself for taking care of her the way you do and don't worry about what the others say. They're probably just feeling a little guilty and a little jealous. It sounds like all your trips have a frugal goal, so I wouldn't feel too bad about that. I'll be expecting you to come 50 miles and bring me some of that jam. LOL Just kidding.....I bought strawberries 2 for 1 last week and was going to make jam, but I just finished eating the last of them. lol I'm hopeless.
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Old 05-14-2002, 06:02 PM
sue witt's Avatar
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i will be glad to bring you some jam

i will be glad to bring you some jam. i am hoping that my tomatoes and pepers turn out really good and then we will have some homemade salsa yum yum. my family loves it they beg for it all the time and when i run out they say i guess i have to eat store bought until the garden comes in this year i also planted a herb garden we will see on that. i think i got to many berrys i just got carried away. i want to do blackberry jam this year who will help me eat all of this jam? i give it away for x-mas and other gifts i am going to do can beef stew and the list goes on and on. if you need some jam just let me know i will be glad to share.
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Old 05-15-2002, 06:54 PM
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Sue, I agree with the comment to plan your week so all of those errands can be done at once. Also, learn to say "no". Don't let other people use up your day. Choose what's important to you--taking your MIL to the doctor, helping at school, etc.

I have found, being a stay-at-home mom for the last ten years, that I need to have a creative outlet. I love to quilt, and will "schedule" a morning (or whatever amount of time I have) to quilt. Take time out for yourself!
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Old 05-16-2002, 10:09 AM
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Once a week trips

I live 10 miles out of town and found shortly after moving here that I was in need of a scheduled "trip to town" day one day a week to get all those errands done. (Sunday and church don't count in this equation).

I normally schedule Monday as my errand day. When I am scheduling appoints for the future, they too are only done on a Monday. Since I have gotten in this habit, I find one day for errands is more than enough. Among the weekly errands done all in one day are stopping at the clearners, the post office, the grocery store, pharmacy, gas station etc. I am not one to shop or browse in a store so I don't take too long to complete the errands.

My daughter, who lives nearby, has often MADE me go to town with her when I manage to skip a week or better yet, even two. My record is three weeks without leaving the farm, and no, I promise ~ LOL ~ I am not anti-social. I just really like being home and there is always something to do ~ .

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Old 05-16-2002, 01:38 PM
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chuckle Stay at Home - Or Not

Hi, I have no trouble staying at home. For one, I enjoy it, and two, I enjoy saving $$$. However, my mate LOVES to go to town as many days a possible.
Don't feel guilty about the days you want to go and share with others or get those strawberries. Just do a few things to make extra cash to pay for gas for those town trips. Sell something on the Internet, have a yardsale, take something back to the store that you really didn't need or want anyway for a cash refund, have fun making something at home you can sell (afghan, jelly, preserves, crafts) To pay for those town trips too, you can save $$ you spend elsewhere. Make your own laundry detergent (info on this site), make clothing you would have bought.. oh I could list all day. Just get the list out and "go to town" with the ideas, so to speak. You may find yourself having so much making $$ at home, you'll either forget about or not have time to go that day. Now there's a savings!
Evil I am, for I am a reflection of your heart's desire to live.
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Old 05-17-2002, 05:59 AM
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Staying at home

Why feel guilty for staying at home, I don't! There are times I run to town every day (sometimes 2 & 3 times) and other times, I can stay pretty much at home.

I use my trips to town to do my errands and it gives me a chance to find out what is going on around me as well. I live in a small town and after moving from a big metropolis, believe me it was a culture shock. Leaving 24/7 to closed at Sundown takes a lot to get use to.

Running errands or taking care of someone else's errands - you are a pretty nice person. Although that "stay-at-home" status can make your life busier than when you worked 40 hours a week, learning to say no or having others, (your spouse) pick up that bread and milk can save you at times. This doesn't work for me, because my husband is a Truck Driver and I never know when he is coming in.

Don't worry what everyone says, do what you need to do and have fun doing it! Taking up a hobby or learning to bake, make jams and jellies can keep you home, but if you didn't go out how would you get your supplies.

Do what makes nutures you and keeps you sane and happy!
"I can get through life, because I pray!"
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Old 05-17-2002, 10:56 AM
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Organizing your time

Now you sound like a woman that pretty much has it all together except for your time. I too have seen myself running endlessly for my grandmother, mother, and anyone else who needed it. I really did love driving and didn't mind it but in the long run it was I who was being short changed on time.....time for myself......time for my family.......time for my get the picture!

I began by deciding what days I really needed to be at home for my good weekly house cleaning. I chose Monday.

Tuesday was a just cleaning out the fridge and daily maintenance so I designated that morning for extensive outdoor pruning, cleaning, mowing and whatever else needed tending to outdoors.

Now I chose my bill paying, menu planning and other paperwork, grocery shopping and errands for Wednesday mornings then would spend the rest of my day preparing my meals for the week.

Thursdays was nothing more than my morning and evening maintenance and the rest of the day was all mine to do whatever my heart desired. This was my rest day, not running grandma or doing errands, just a day! We all need down time or we will burn out quickly.

Friday was again just a low maintenance day which really takes no more than couple of hours then I would devote my time to my projects.

Saturdays and Sundays were for my family.

Using this schedule I made sure to go over my grandmothers apptments and make sure to either schedule or reschedule them to Tuesday or Friday afternoons. Even if she didn't have a doctors appointment this was her time to get out of the house. It really worked wonders for both of us. She relaxed and looked forward to the split week of getting out at a specific time and I was able to keep the rest of my life in control with no guilt.

As for your own last minute bills and prescriptions try to start saving now and within a couple of months you will be able to have the security and peace of mind knowing that you are ahead of the game. I've been where your at and it took a tragic accident that made me realize that we cannot live that close to the edge without some penalties and reprocussions at some time. In other words, if your housenote is due on the first then try to get it paid with the previous months last paycheck. If your pills normally run out at the end of the month try to have that refill done no later than the second week of the month. I'm not sure if your spouse gets paid weekly, biweekly, monthly or semi monthly but it can be done.
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Old 05-17-2002, 07:18 PM
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Pinkie Winky Boundaries............

Well, 1st of all you may just have too many irons in the fire so to say. So therefore, maybe you need to pick your battles and focus on what you really love to do. Don't let other people derail you. I went from living in town where everything is accessible to living in the country where's there is only 1 tiny store with limited items.
My suggestions: # 1 Plan, plan, plan---make mil & your own appointments, grocery & RX shopping on the same day. This takes some work & you must carry a calendar...but worth the effort. I never, never go to town to do one thing. (Make a list of everything you have to do along with the grocery shopping list.)
#2 When things are on sale STOCK UP. I have several big bundles of toilet paper in the basement storage room, along with canned goods, etc. Also a freezer full of choice cuts of meat, etc.
#3 As far as bills, I write the checks in advance(I put reminders on my computer's calendar & set it so it reminds me). I put them in the envelopes, with stamps & all---write on the back when it absolutely has to be mailed. Then I wait for the money & simply stick them in the mail. more late charges. Keep these in a letter holder near the door you use you can take them to the mailbox on time. Organize them upside down with earliest date on top.
#4 Tell these in-laws that perhaps you are "favorite" because you are doing all the work & loving every minute of it. Perhaps if they'd get off their duffs they would too!
#5 Set Boundaries---don't plan too much! Give yourself an extra day if it is needed, i.e. library, beauty salon, etc.
Good Luck & Live Happy & Frugal!
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