Visit FamilyCorner.com for tons of seasonal ideas!
quick link - go to our home page quick link - kid's crafts, family fun, printables, etc quick link - sign up for our free newsletter quick link - holiday crafts, recipes and ideas quick link - gardening, organizing, saving money, decorating and more quick link - our FunBook is filled with lots of quick ideas, tips and crafts quick link - join our bustling community of friendly members


Go Back   FamilyCorner.com Forums > Parenting > Ages & Stages > Teenagers

Teenagers So many parents of teens have said "just you wait!" But why? What are your thoughts on teens today?

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2008, 03:39 AM
megrayau's Avatar
Nine Year Member
FamilyCorner Fanatic
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Emerald City, Land of Oz
Posts: 4,303
Dating Rules!

Daddy's Rules for Dating
Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy):


Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:

You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:

I'm sure you've been told that in today's world sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:

It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.'

Rule Six:

I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:

As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:

The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool, places where there is darkness, places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay. Cricket games are okay...Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:

Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:

Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi . When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine
__________________
Every day we write a memory on the heart of our family. What memories did you write today?
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2008, 03:41 AM
megrayau's Avatar
Nine Year Member
FamilyCorner Fanatic
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Emerald City, Land of Oz
Posts: 4,303
For everyone who has a daughter and those whom have dated them.....

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER


NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement,
job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.


NAME____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA Grid_____________

INCOME TAX FILE NUMBER _________________ DRIVERS LICENSE ________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: __________________________________________________ ___________
__________________________________________________ ___________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain
__________________________________________________ __________________




ACCESSORIES SECTION:


A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)



ESSAY SECTION:


In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?

__________________________________________________ ____________

__________________________________________________ ____________

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?

__________________________________________________ ____________

__________________________________________________ ____________

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?

__________________________________________________ ____________

__________________________________________________ ____________


REFERENCES SECTION:


Church you attend __________________________________________________ _

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

Father? _____________

Mother?_____________

Priest or Pastor? _____________


SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:


Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely all answers
are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

__________________________________________________ ____________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

__________________________________________________ ____________

C: A woman's place is in the:

__________________________________________________ ____________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

__________________________________________________ ____________

E. What do you want to be IF you grow up? _______________________________

__________________________________________________ ____________

__________________________________________________ ____________

F: When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

__________________________________________________ ____________

G: What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
INDIGENOUS AUSTRALIAN BULL ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION,
CHINESE WATER TORTURE and RED HOT POKERS


__________________________________________________ _______
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)


_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother's Signature Father's Signature

_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State or Federal Government Representative

_______________________________ (Their stamp goes here )
Notary Public

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.
Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If your application is rejected, you will be
notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (You might watch your back)


To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating.

__________________
Every day we write a memory on the heart of our family. What memories did you write today?
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2008, 03:42 AM
megrayau's Avatar
Nine Year Member
FamilyCorner Fanatic
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Emerald City, Land of Oz
Posts: 4,303
I plan to use this form for dd's boyfriend!! lol
__________________
Every day we write a memory on the heart of our family. What memories did you write today?
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 08-14-2008, 12:31 PM
Lislyn66's Avatar
Nine Year Member
FamilyCorner Fanatic
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Southern IL
Posts: 4,037
AWESOME!!! I'm going to copy and print both!

Lisa
__________________
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 08-15-2008, 07:10 AM
danstigerangel's Avatar
Nine Year Member
FamilyCorner Maniac
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: somewhere out there
Posts: 27,229
Loved it. LOL!!!
__________________
Lauri

Proud Granny of Maddox Timothy Joseph and Saorla Laurie Elizabeth and Graham Michael Eric!

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
Beverly Sills
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 08-20-2008, 08:44 AM
ajrsmom's Avatar
Nine Year Member
FamilyCorner Postaholic
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Originally from the Home of the only 6 times Super Bowl Champs!
Posts: 11,872
I'm not worried about these just yet but I still think that they're great!

My DD (she's 5) told my DH that she was going to drive a van when she gets older --we were talking about vehicles that get good gas mileage--you should've seen seen my DH's reaction to her comment. lol He said "You'll never drive a van as long as I'm alive!" It was so funny the way he said it....and then he had to tell her that he was just joking because she didn't understand why he said that.
__________________


**
Visit my blogs **

Tami's Kitchen Table Talk

Simple, easy-to-cook family recipes
and lots of good conversation!

Join the Cookie Carnival!
On Hiatus

If you love baking cookies, join our group!





Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 12-08-2009, 07:29 AM
karriel's Avatar
Two Year Member
FamilyCorner Newbie
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: norhtwest arkansas
Posts: 13
these two posts were so funny... the sad thing is i also have two teenage boys. i used to think that it was just my girls i needed to worry about...until my son came home with a "girlfriend" in the 7th grade. my daughter told me her dad grounded her becuase she wasnt supposed to have "boyfriends" and it got me thinking "well oh crapt im gonna have some angry father pounding on my door to ask why my son wont leave his daughter alone..yikes.
thanks for sharing these!
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 12-08-2009, 09:39 AM
happymomof4's Avatar
6 yr member
FamilyCorner Addict
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 5,917
My younger son brought this home a few weeks after he started dating his girlfriend(now financee) a few years ago. Her dad gave it to ds to read as a joke. Son flunked because he drove an either an Expedition or my Mini Van at the time. Every bed in our house is a waterbed. Luckly he has not tatoos or piercings. We got a great laugh from this.

I have 2 boys and 2 girls.
__________________
Have a wonderful day.

Charlotte
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 12-08-2009, 01:41 PM
ajrsmom's Avatar
Nine Year Member
FamilyCorner Postaholic
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Originally from the Home of the only 6 times Super Bowl Champs!
Posts: 11,872
My 6 yr. old dd's best friends in her class are 3 boys. One of them today told her that she might be the one he picks to go to an NFL game with her this year. She actually asked if we would allow her to go with him.

You should've seen my dh's face. He was stunned and thought that she was joking -- she was serious!

What's next???
__________________


**
Visit my blogs **

Tami's Kitchen Table Talk

Simple, easy-to-cook family recipes
and lots of good conversation!

Join the Cookie Carnival!
On Hiatus

If you love baking cookies, join our group!





Reply With Quote
 
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
PLEASE READ! Rules for Personalizing Your Signature Line ajrsmom Questions & Answers 1 06-08-2016 01:19 AM
PLEASE READ! Rules for Personalizing Your Signature Line ajrsmom How Do I...? 7 07-26-2008 03:29 AM
Dating Dos and Don'ts ajrsmom Friends 0 04-02-2006 03:39 PM
Guidelines for the Secret Sister Club--PLEASE READ FIRST!!! ajrsmom Rules & Guidelines 0 08-29-2004 10:17 AM


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:46 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.1
Copyright 1997-2012, FamilyCorner.com Magazine, Inc. an Internet Brands company

POPULAR AREAS OF FAMILYCORNER.COM

Our Family FunBook is packed full of ideas from parents just like you!

Our members say that they have never found a friendlier message board community than ours!

Our kid's craft section is filled with easy ideas for creative little minds.

We have tons of free printable coloring pages to keep your little ones happy.

We offer a wide variety of free newsletters delivered right to your inbox.

Our Household Hints & Tips have a wealth of information on cleaning, organizing, and more!
Go to the funbook Go to forums Go to kid's crafts Go to printables Go to newsletters Go to Hints & Tips

Home || Newsletters || Advertising || Terms of Use || Privacy || Services || Submissions || Contact Us || Media Opportunities || Link To Us || Shop || Feedback || Staff || e-Cards || Reminder Service



FamilyCorner.com® is sponsored in part by...




Visit our friends --> MomsMenu | Main Street Mom | She Knows | Baby University | Personal Fitness Zone | iChef.com

Copyright Notice | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use/Disclaimer