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Teenagers So many parents of teens have said "just you wait!" But why? What are your thoughts on teens today?

View Poll Results: Do you allow your teenagers (15 & up) total freedom to decide on their clothing...etc
they have total freedom to decide 5 17.86%
they can chose but I have the final say 21 75.00%
I still decide on those things 1 3.57%
another opinion..... 1 3.57%
Voters: 28. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 08-09-2007, 02:28 PM
ajrsmom's Avatar
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Do you allow your teenagers (15 & up) total freedom to decide on their clothing...etc

"Mom...That's not fair!!"

"I said no purple hair in my house!"

Any of this sound familiar in your house?

I remember when I was 16....
The importance of shopping for just the right clothes, having my Farah haircut styled just right, wearing one hundred jelly bracelets and super tight Gloria Vanderbilt jeans that I had to beg for, for 6 months just to get a pair.

I thought that my parents were so queer for not knowing the latest trends! Even so, there were always rules in our house for what was allowed and what wasn't allowed to be worn out of the house.

When I look around today, I wonder if any of those same rules still apply?

What type of parent are you/ or were you when it comes to your children having the freedom to choose how they dress & what their hair/makeup looks like?


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Old 08-09-2007, 07:46 PM
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Another good topic.

I let Joshua choose his clothes for the most part. But he knows that I will not allow shorts or pants that go past his waist. And he knows the school does not allow shirts that have references to alcohol or guns.

He does pretty good, because I never have to reject anything he picks out.

Of course, we always have to take out a small loan to dress him. And not because he wears designer clothes. He just turned 16 and he is 6' 8" tall and weighs 225. I can still manage to get him shorts at Target. But pants and shirts have to be bought at the Big and Tall store to get them to fit his length. Lord, I hope he has stopped growing. LOL

Another interesting topic here.
The most important thing in the world is family and love.

-John Wooden


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Old 08-10-2007, 02:29 AM
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Usually we shop together, I just care that their jeans aren't too low or their shirts too tight, that they are wearing clean clothes and there aren't any tears or mending that needs to be done.

We have had more discussions on doing something. I guess because we pay for the clothes we have some say in what is worn.

Now that both dds have jobs, they are buying their own clothes more, and they are making good choices from my point of view. They look for the sale too.

Where did we disagree? On wearing flip flops or no socks when it was less than 65F, on not wearing stockings or a slip to church (just because, not because the outfit needed it, I am old fashioned that way), on not bringing a hat to the bus stop, on wanting that second earring hole (a doctor or medical pro must do it), on not getting a tattoo (think ahead 40 years, get henna instead), on hair color (if dramatic, do a rinse, not a dye). There must be other areas.

For the most part it was discussion and not arguments. I hope it stays that way.
Ellen in PA

"God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of love, power, and a sound mind."
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Old 08-10-2007, 06:17 AM
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I got custody of my niece when she was 15 years old. She would only wear daisy duke short and very revealing tank tops. We constantly fought about them. My dh stepped in and had a heart2heart talk with her about self esteem, guys and how beautiful she was without the trashy clothes. Coming from him she finally got it. She did try from time 2 time to get away with things, but for the most part she was great. She now has a daughter of her own and she is the greatest mom.

Connie did you ever try JCPenney's for big and tall? My freind's son is 6' 3" and weighs 115#. She buys from the catalog at the store or I think she goes on line.
Loving wife of Dave and Step-in-mom to Nicole and now her baby Shaniah!!
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Old 08-10-2007, 11:18 AM
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I do not have a teenager yet, my oldest is 8 but we have had some issues with clothing sometimes.

When I was growing up, we always wore a coat of some kind if the temperature was below 55, but here in western Washington you rarely see a child wearing a coat until the temperatures are in the 30's or sometimes not even until they hit the 20's (but that low doesn't happen very often here).

Other things he has wanted to wear have been flip-flops (in my opinion they are only for wearing to the pool not to school or church), baggy pants that seem to defy gravity and let the undergarments show all the time (definitely a big no-no in my house, so much so that when his grandmother bought him some I turned around and took them back to the store and exchanged them).

I have allowed a couple of camouflage shirts but draw the line at pants and hats (if he wants to wear those he can join the military when he comes of age, and I am all for joining and serving our country (both DH and I were not able to serve due to health or physical reasons).

After a few arguements about what DH and I consider appropriate and or inappropriate ways of dressing, DS seems to have gotten the message, he now takes pride in dressing neatly and does his best to keep his hair nice (does not even ask to have a crazy haircut or do things to make it look like he hasn't been taught how to take care of himself).
It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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Old 08-10-2007, 11:37 AM
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I am a bit old fashioned too. I wear a slip but can not help but see that most women don't today Guess they think no one can tell it. Even my g-son mentioned to me one day that did not take much imagination etc when we passed a woman.
He is doing better now with his own clothes tho' his Mom and I have had to veto things in the past he is 18 now. Steven is going to be 9 next month and has griped about some of the things she and I have picked out for him but for the most part he is happy with what we have chosen or he has gotten as gifts. BUT he wants his hair short not in least bit long
I will take what I am served knowing someone out there is being served MUCH less
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Old 08-10-2007, 02:42 PM
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My kids (boys 12 and almost 17 ) are pretty ok when it comes to clothes, when they were young they asked me if this goes with that, and I say well this doesn't because of ... They only have 1 or 2 brand named items and as long as they have jeans, t-shirt and shorts in their drawers they dont' really care who made them. The do like their Billabong socks as they are soo cushiony and cost a $ but that is what grandma adds to their xmas presents. They don't have low jeans or dirty looking clothes or stuff like that.
ds1 when 12 ask for his ear peirced, I said I had to wait until I was 13 if you still want it done when you're 13 you can do it, he did lasted nearly 3yrs and said he was done with it. ds1 is now into growing his hair long like his guitar idol and I guess if his rebellion is growing his hair long that isn't so bad.
So far ds1 is happy as he is.

The best advice I was given way back when was, choose your battles and make sure they count, don't worry about the little things. So I try not to.

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Old 08-10-2007, 02:47 PM
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I think my dh and I were very lucky in regards to this subject. I never had to tell my older daughter who is now 24 and living on her own what not to wear. She had a clear sense of style and common sense. My youngest daughter who is now 20 is another story though. First of all she's a free spirit. I would comment on those very low rider jeans and the belly button and she knew it wasn't right but there's that peer pressure in the schools. Also, they were told no piercings or tatoos while we are supporting them. I still like the saying that we "own the air they breath' until they are on they're own. Today she is a lovely young woman who knows what to wear and not. Also, I hope we as parents had alot to do with their good sense (I think we did!).
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Old 08-10-2007, 02:53 PM
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I don't like clothes with writing/sayings on them. Now I have seen some really good ones, but making this stand means we don't need to work out which ones are innappropriate. Ds is a pain in that what he likes is limited, so his wardrobe is limited too. He is growing his hair long at the moment, and like Bilby, that is an easy one to live with!
Dd has eclectic taste to say the least! I don't always like what she wears, but it does fit my guidelines for modesty and neatness, just not always what I think of as matching.
Every day we write a memory on the heart of our family. What memories did you write today?
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Old 08-11-2007, 06:33 AM
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My son usually wears the clothes I buy since he is going into high school this year. I am trying to get him to wear more Polo shirts than tee-shirts. he doesn't wear shorts much to school until late spring. As for his hair he can wear it long, as long as he can see the teacher and the board to pay attention in class. He's acturally the one who did decide to get it cut when it started to bother him. So, no arguement there.

As for my 20 year old daughter. She's very picky and opinionated. While in high school she always was putting down those who were wearing clothes too tight or short and the guys wearing their pants down under their underwear. But, she's starting to give up the holey and ripped up pants. So, I'm doing okay as she approved all the clothes I got her this week. And even wearing jeans that are tighter fitting to her body.
So, I'm doing good at my house for now.
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