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Teenagers So many parents of teens have said "just you wait!" But why? What are your thoughts on teens today?

View Poll Results: Do you allow your teenagers (15 & up) total freedom to decide on their clothing...etc
they have total freedom to decide 5 17.86%
they can chose but I have the final say 21 75.00%
I still decide on those things 1 3.57%
another opinion..... 1 3.57%
Voters: 28. You may not vote on this poll

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 08-11-2007, 09:37 AM
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My oldest son always dressed mostly in Wrangler jeans and t-shirts so I was fine with that. He did wear his hair really long but I didn't have a problem with that because it was always neatly combed and washed. He now dresses mostly in polo shirts and dress pants and has a much shorter hair cut, right below the ears, mostly because of his job.

My youngest son has always worn short hair, jeans and t-shirt but is also dressing nicer now that he has finished high school. When he was in middle school he wore one ear pierced for about a year and got tired of it.

My daughter, that is another story. She is 15 and the way she wants to dress sometimes creates big arguements around the house. I am very modest and she is very NOT modest so we argue a lot about what she is allowed to wear. I have finally stopped the arguements in the last 3 months by telling her when she is looking at a top way to short or shorts way to short "oh yea that looks good, think I will get me some also and we can match" she usually puts it back on the shelf without saying another word. I have found that works well for school also. I will tell her ok I will get a top sorta like yours and wear it to your school today when I come pick you up. She will change shirts cause she knows even thought it would embarrass me to death to have to wear clothes like she likes that I would do it. She doesn't get "the way you dress tells people how to treat you, like a lady or like a tramp". All 3 of my kids know no tattoos or body piercings until they are out of the house on their own. No problem for the boys, they don't want either. Lacy wants both. Lord I will be glad when she is grown and hopefully has more sense.
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Old 08-11-2007, 09:34 PM
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I didn't allow my kids to wear anything immodest, sexually alluring, or dishonoring to God. If it was ugly or weird, I let it go. My house, my rules! pw
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Old 08-12-2007, 07:16 AM
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My son is seventeen and a really good kid. He has nice taste in clothing so I don't really have a need to oversee his choices. I definitely would tell him if he was wearing something inappropriate, though.
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Old 08-13-2007, 07:15 AM
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I let my children choose. Its how they express their individualality. I have never had to tell any one of them that they were inappropriate. They've all had a more conservative taste all on their own.
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Old 08-13-2007, 08:55 AM
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I voted that my children get to choose their own clothes, but I get the final say. It is more like they get to wear anything they want, but I have veto power if they choose something too revealing. I don't remember ever having to veto anything though.

I am with Felicia, clothes and hair is how they express their individuality. I have to say that I HATED the Goth look. But, it was a fad. I felt that my children were in high school and would soon be on their own. They needed to be able to learn to choose their own clothes before they were on their own. I too wore the Angel Wings, amongst other things. I think children should be able to express themselves. However, if their expression is a taste for designer clothes, they are free to get a job and put in the extra money for them.
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Old 08-13-2007, 04:41 PM
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However, if their expression is a taste for designer clothes, they are free to get a job and put in the extra money for them.
Ha ha ha, that made me laugh so hard!!
I hated the goth look too, especially when they wanted to die their hair black. I let them though and in the end I got the last laugh when they grew out of it and it took forever to color over that black they now hated! I try to remember what it was like when I was young and not yell at them for things I did too or felt too.
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Old 08-13-2007, 07:58 PM
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Felicia, I remember when my DS was into Nirvana. He wore all the goth stuff too. Well, day he wrote, "Kurt is God" on his tee shirt! I about hit the ceiling! This was right after Kurt Cobain died. I am friends with his aunt. So, I told my DS that he was going to talk to Mari! I called her and told her what my DS did. Well, my DS got on the phone and this is what I heard on his end: "Really? Cool!" "Wow! Cool!" "Cool!!!!" "Yes ma'm." "Yes, ma'm." "Yes, ma'm."

I laughed. I talked to Mari later and she had been telling my DS about how she used to change Kurt's diapers, how she gave him his first guitar, and how she has a recording studio in her house. Then, she started telling my DS about how bad Kurt's drug use was and how badly he smelled because of the lack of bathing since he started using drugs and on and on. I guess my DS figured that although his favorite singer may have been talented, he also had problems.

Going back to the subject of clothes, I knew a lady who would buy worn designer clothing for next to nothing and take the labels and sew them onto the cheaper jeans and such. Her DD was very popular because she had such cool clothes and so many of the "cool" clothing. Nobody knew that most weren't really designer and most were hand-me-downs or homemade!

I think that is such a good tip if you have teens who want to fit in. Take garage sale or Salvation Army clothes for next to nothing and sew on the labels to nicer clothing and make them remade.
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Old 08-14-2007, 06:29 AM
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I picked they can chose, but I have final say. Really I have had very few problems over the years with my kids. DD2 is my fourth teenager and every once in a while there might be something she likes that I might say are you sure??? Usually that is all it takes for them to reconsider their choice. My girls were never ones to like revealing clothes--so no worries there. Sometimes it was more of a printed T-shirt or brand new jeans that looked ready for the rag bag where we disagreed.
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Old 08-14-2007, 10:46 AM
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I let my kids start picking out their own clothes in kindergarten. I'd let them help me shop and then they picked out each days clothes. Each had her own style and all were different.Dgd is now picking her stuff and it is not mom's style at all but it is decent. Mom is less lenient them gram. That was always my rule all important parts must be covered decently and no volence, drug or alcohol on the shirts. They had to be clean also. I told them to wait on the tatoos to be sure they wanted them. Well 2 of them did get them in their early 20's and now hate them.
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:52 AM
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I only have one child in the 15 and up age group right now. He hasn't been a problem; basically we laid down the law early about what is appropriate for certain situations (church, dining out, etc).

Because my kids wear uniforms to school I avoid THAT battle and I am so glad!

My son doesn't care for the "pants so low they're below the butt" look so I don't have to worry about him. If he had a shirt advertising his school track team to wear every day of the week, he would. He tends to be easy to dress. For church I buy him some khaki pants and golf shirts. He has a couple of each that all mix & match, but he wears the SAME pants and SAME shirt every Sunday just out of habit.

My daughter age 11 is more interested in fashion. She wants to, and tries to, wear things that aren't too modest (like wearing one of those "layering camisoles" as a tank top. As one of my friends says to her daughters, "Not enough shirt--too much you!")

We let our kids choose but we will send them back to change if what they have chosen is not appropriate.
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