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Teenagers So many parents of teens have said "just you wait!" But why? What are your thoughts on teens today?

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Old 06-05-2007, 01:07 PM
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Teens and Parties

My 15-year-old son just asked permission to attend an "end of school" party next week.
Let the interrogations begin, I said!!
--Whose house?
--Who's going?
--Who's supervising?
--What time does it begin and end?

OK everyone--what else should I be asking?
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Old 06-05-2007, 03:49 PM
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I think you are covering the big questions pretty well.
My main concern for any party was who was the adult in charge. Sometimes just because there was an adult present, didn't necessarily mean they were " in charge". Is it someone you know well?
Is there a formal invitation that answers any of the above questions? Do you know any of the parents of other kids who are going well enough that you can get their feelings on the party? I was never above checking with other parents to make sure I was getting the same information they were.
Good Luck hope you get your answers and DS can enjoy his "end of school" party.
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Old 06-05-2007, 04:04 PM
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Here's the thing about this party.
We don't know most of the kids who are invited. This is DS's first year in high school and he is one of 200 in a class, not one of 40.
We don't know the hosting child nor the hosting parents.
I am not harboring any illusions that just because this is a daytime party, nothing will "happen." I was in high school once. I attended those parties. People got drunk, houses got trashed.
I will be letting him know that there is no shame in calling home if that kind of thing happens.
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Old 06-05-2007, 05:09 PM
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Does he have a cell phone? I would want an emergency number just in case something happens.

Have you asked what they are planning on doing at this party? You would hate to hear "Well, You didn't ask what we were planning on doing". If you found out later they we doing something not-so-good.
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Old 06-06-2007, 03:49 AM
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Yes, he does have a cell phone.

They are planning a Movie Marathon. Probably sci-fi or scary movies. 5 hours....

We have another week or so before this party so that is plenty of time to talk to the grownups at the house.
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Old 06-06-2007, 05:18 AM
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I don't always know all of DD2's friends parents either(more of a know of them than really know them) That can sometimes be a little scary. Sometimes I closed my eyes, said a prayer and then hoped I had done my job well enough raising them that they would know when they needed to call home have me come get them.
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Old 06-06-2007, 06:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joy
Sometimes I closed my eyes, said a prayer and then hoped I had done my job well enough raising them that they would know when they needed to call home have me come get them.
We have been having talks like this with my son--even though his is only 9.

I think that this is one of the hardest experiences that we, as parents, have to go through. We know that we have to trust them ....but what if they make the wrong choices? We don't ever want to see our kids get into trouble.

I think that we have to have faith in our teachings and pray that our kids are listening.

Big Hugs, Barb as you go through this "waiting" week.
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Old 06-11-2007, 02:54 AM
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Big fight yesterday with DS because he didn't understand why I wanted to talk to the party-hosting parents ON THE PHONE or in person, not over "instant messenger" I got the whole "You don't trust me" thing.

I told him that I'd trust him more and even give him more privacy than he thinks he gets now, if he'd stop being so secretive!

As it turns out it's just him and 2 friends (both girls, eek!) getting together to eat pizza and watch movies. Both parents in the house will be home. The mom was really nice.

I think he is afraid of being teased because he has friends who are girls. I will have to address that one next, I guess. Frankly I'm glad he has friends who are girls, as well as friends who are guys.
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Old 06-11-2007, 03:01 AM
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Oh boy, we are in the middle of this too. Last year was a pivotal year as dd went through quite a bit so we all learned our lessons.

Younger dd tends to dilute what really happens so she will take some closer observation and I will need to remain even calmer than usual so I don't scare her into silence!

Cell phones are great, if they leave them on and if they answer!

I have done drive bys too. That taught me that my kids really do the right things and that they weren't lying to me so it gained me some confidence in them.

And there are times that I have said, No I don't trust (this situation, this person, you in this situation and with this person) but it's because I was there once and you will feel better about yourself if you know you've got parental backup and support.

They can always use me for an excuse to get out of something they don't want to do or be there.

And I try to have them drive there themselves and not rely on others for transportation. Yes, dd is back and driving again. So that is good.
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Old 06-11-2007, 05:45 AM
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Barb sounds like you have things pretty well under control. Glad it seems to have all worked out. Our dks can sure keep us on our toes, especially during these teen and young adult years. I once heard a speaker on a Parenting show say that as parents we are not always going to make the right decision concerning our kids, but as long as we do our best, raise them with love and let them know we love them, we probably aren't going to screw them up for the rest of their lives either.
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