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Teenagers So many parents of teens have said "just you wait!" But why? What are your thoughts on teens today?

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Old 03-26-2007, 12:38 PM
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Concerned About Daughters choice of Friends

Help I am concerned about dd choice of friends at school as most of them are older,who has made choices that I would prefer her not to be inolved at this point of her life. She relazies that they are not the right type to hang around on her own,but I would like to be able to encourage her to look for friends more withthe right kind of values but not push her. Any suggestions?
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Old 03-26-2007, 12:58 PM
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HELLO it is hard to talk to teenagers about the types of friends they hang out with my teenagers hang out with kids I don't like and they know I don't as long as my kids are not getting hurt and know right from wrong and not getting in to trouble theirs not much much I can do .They kind of have to find out on their own what is a true friend and wich ones aren't.Hope that helps a little.
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Old 03-26-2007, 01:00 PM
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I check out this thread when I saw it because I too have a DD with a friend who isn't a bad kid, but has been labeled by the school as such. I was hoping for words of wisdom from some of you who have been there.
DD's friend has been accussed of stealing twice in the past month and been proven innocent both times. This girl does dress different (Goth) and I am sure this attracts the wrong kind of attention. I know the girl and her Mom and they seem to both be nice people. My point to my DD is, whether it is fair or not when you hang out with kids who have been labeled by school as trouble makers you might get lumped into the same category by association.
DD is a good kid and I trust her, but how can I be sure of her friends?
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Old 03-26-2007, 01:10 PM
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That is part of the problem here because people judge dd by who she hangs out with.Most of them are older than her.She does have one girl her age that she is starting to hang out with that is a member of our church that she feels like she can relate to so that helps. Like I said she is started to see that maybe she needs to rethink her chioces of friends.She does not see them outside of school much & when she does I'm usually there with them but she is is at the age where we are going to have to trust her out on her own with them.I do trust her but am trying to let go without worrying to much.
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Old 03-26-2007, 01:16 PM
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HI invite her over your house when you our home talk with them about everday subjects get to know her friend for your self. I have my kis friends come over our hous when I am home and I am a girl and mot are boys we can have up to ten kids at one time and they know the rules no swearing stealing no fighting. We end up having a good time we talk about what they are doing in school about their girl friends andwhats going on in their life you will be amazed what kids will tell you when they are comfertable around you. what is funny is the friends end up calling me mom.
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Old 03-26-2007, 03:09 PM
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Nell, my 2 children are grown. My thoughts are to forbid her to hand out with these friends. This may seem harsh, but if they are older and make unwise choices, she could end up in trouble for the rest of her life. She needs to know that you will protect her, even from herself. Take away her privileges, if you need to. She will probably hate you and be angry with you. But, your job is that of a parent and not that of a friend. She WILL thank you for it some day.

I think that you should pick and choose your battles. Some things aren't worth fighting over such as weird haircuts or some piercings. But, hanging around the wrong crowd can set her up to be disliked by the kids that are a good influence. She is at a vuneralable age and at a turning point in her life. Make sure she is turned in the right direction. jmo
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Old 03-26-2007, 03:44 PM
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You know no one said it was easy training children to become responsible adults.

Everyone makes wrong choices in life. But hopefully you learn from them & try not to repeat them.

I agree with DeBora you should do your best to stop her from hanging around the wrong crowd. You need to get it through your child's thick skull that you are there to help & support him or her.

My mother didn't always like the kids I hung out with. Yes some of them were older than me & they did things I still don't approve of.

I try to get along with everyone. I want to understand why people do what they do. I had friends that didn't pressure me to do what they were doing. They accepted me just the way I was & I accepted them just the way they were.


My mom tried to cram Christianity down my throat as her father did to her. I like to know "who, what, where, why, & how" so I can decide for myself what's right for me.

I hope you have a good relationship with your children because it makes it a lot easier to talk to them. My mom is controlling. We rarely got along. I didn't respect her & still struggle to.

My children know & talk to some of the neighbors' children. There are a couple of them that we won't let our children leave the yard with. If they were to they'd be grounded for a while. At first we allowed them to hang out in the neighborhood until we got to know the children. Fortunately our children know we want the best for them. We will do anything within our power to make sure they are safe. We trust each other. They tell us when their friends do things we don't approve of. They just want friends but are smart enough not to disobey us.

I'm not easily influenced & I thank my parents for that. They tried to influence me as well. I learned from their mistakes. They taught me do as I say not as I do and for the most part I live by that. It's hard for a child to see the right path. But with a lot of love, patience & prayers they will survive to see you mean them no harm.

TTFN. HTH.
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