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Teenagers So many parents of teens have said "just you wait!" But why? What are your thoughts on teens today?

View Poll Results: How well do you and your teen communicate?
My teen is very open and tells me everything 13 17.11%
My teen tells me a lot, but I'm sure there are some secrets 44 57.89%
My teen tells me some things, but I know there are others that they don't 19 25.00%
My teen keeps everything from me, they have shut me out 0 0%
Voters: 76. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-18-2005, 06:58 AM
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How well do you and your teen communicate?

Teenagers are complicated. A rage of hormones, growing from a child to an adult, gaining their own identity. How do you feel your relationship is with your teen? Do you think they would come to you with their problems, or keep them a secret from you for fear of your reaction?
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Old 06-18-2005, 07:46 AM
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I have my second in the teen years and boy, it never gets any easier. I went thru a daughter and now a son and let me tell you what, my sons hormones are raging as much as my daughters were. Now my son has disappeared and some evil entity has taken over. I hope what it is that it will soon free him. He is 14 and I can't imagine another 4 or 5 yrs with this thing, lol. J/K Love him dearly but boy is he onery now
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Old 06-18-2005, 07:54 AM
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Teen Communication

Greetings:
When voting; being 61, I was referring to my 18 year old grandson as all my children are long grown now. Still and all, when they were teens, I must admit...they were a bit of a handfull. Still, we had a strong relationship. They knew they could talk to me...or their father.
My youngest child, Steven was far easier to raise as there was 10 years difference between him and my next youngest child...(I have 6 altogether). There were very few issues with him and what there was were solved quickly.
I guess Steven being raised partially as an 'only child' made him a more well rounded person with fewer problems as I was able to spend more time with him. (His birth father wasn't around).
Living in Bakersfield, California many years ago, when my kids were entertaining their teen years, our home...although we rented; was the center of activity. I was known as "Mama Maria" and my husband was always willing to share his food with anyone who was hungry. We had a good repoir with teens. Alas, my husband and I divorced along the way and my second husband partially raised Steven (different father than first husband...He was conceived AFTER my divorce). Anyhow, Steven knows Gene as his 'dad' and is very respectful of him.
As is said of women: "It is not giving birth to a child that makes you a 'mom' necessarily...but the love and effort you put into raising that child." So the same can be said about fatherhood. Copulation doesn't necessarily make you a father...being there when your child (even if he/she is not your birth child)...does.
Happy Father's Day to all those men out there that are truly FATHERS in every sence of the word.

Mary (Maria) M.
twstr
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Old 06-18-2005, 12:54 PM
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My son is 14 years old, he is a very quiet young man. But when he gets going you can't stop him. He is just like his Dad, he can't keep a secret. He thinks I am very goofy and he laughs at me, but not being mean. I believe we have a good relationship, he tells me most everything. The heartbreaking stories of the things his friends are going thru. The divorces, the fighting, the money problems. We discuss how lucky we are and how he can help his friends. I help the children with their homework and he helps me understand the subject I was never good at. In other words he helps me with his younger sister's English homework. We are a very busy household, but we always find time to talk. The car is a wonderful place for discussions. That is how it was when my sister and I were teenagers, Mom and us were and are very close. No cd players, no tvs, no games, just old fashion talking.

Have a nice day everyone.

Melly
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Old 06-18-2005, 02:58 PM
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I too am heading towards the teen grandkids. They are usually quite open with me about most things which makes me very happy.
My daughter was always telling me everything.......well mostly but my son didn't and to this day still does not.
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Old 06-18-2005, 04:36 PM
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My youngest is 19 and she has her secrets I'm sure, but I pretty much know most of what's going on with her. She might not talk to me for days and then she'll open up and start talking about everything.
She knows my position on most if not every thing, but she'll still make her own decisions-which don't usually match what I want her to do.
My oldest dd hated my lectures-as they all do; but when she graduated High School she actually told me that she really appreciated my talks-they gave her some boundaries to work with. My middle dd was the total opposite and dd#3 takes after her just a little. #2 didn't really listen to me at all- except when she wanted to move out of the house and in with her BF; I told her she had to graduate first and she did. Of course, she didn't come home most nights before 3am-but she did come home and the day she graduated HS she moved out. She now says that I was right in wanting her to wait, she married her boyfriend has two surviving boys and they're in the middle of a divorce with him in another state....... We hope for so much for our kids, I have always told my girls that they need to be able to provide for themselves and not wait for a man to take care of them-I'm really praying #3 gets through college but we'll just have to wait and see.
take care all,
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Old 06-18-2005, 07:41 PM
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I voted open and honest praying that my two boys will be when they get there. I do not have a teen yet and there was not an option for that answer so I took a stab at what I think my boys will do. Honestly they probably will not tell me everything but it can not hurt to hope.
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Old 06-19-2005, 02:17 AM
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I answered for my grown children who let us know "almost" everything.

We had "truth night" at our house. It was an evening where anything could be confessed without fear of punishment. Somethimes the things they worried over were very small, sometimes they weren't responsible, and other times they dropped a big problem on the table and it took all of us to figure out how to help. We were able to keep the kid's trust and they felt so much better after a "truth night".

We believe that things kept hidden grow into big problems while things brought into the light can be handled.

To this day my daughter will say all of her skeletons are out of the closet and hanging on the front porch for the world to see.

Love & Prayers,
Linda
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Old 06-19-2005, 08:41 PM
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Before last night, I would have chosen the second one of the poll -- about there being "some secrets". But after finding out that his gf of a yr had broke up with him & that she might be pregnant, the rug has been pulled out from under me.

He does talk about some of the things going on in his life & always has. He is only 16 (ex-gf is 17), but I think he knows now that trust in him is greatly diminished after this.
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Old 06-20-2005, 01:23 AM
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I voted for the second one. My daugher will be 17 in August. I know she has her secrets, but I also know that we do have a very good relationship. She is always telling me things. Some things I really don't want to know. I started really talking to her when she was young. She knows that she can come to me for anything. Her friends have come to me because their parents won't talk with them. I truly believe that all the TALKS I have with her, really has made up close. We still have talks. Everytime we are in the car alone, we always talk about something. That something is usually about sex and boys. I am very happy to say that at this time of her life she doesn't want anything to do with sex or drugs. For a girl to say that at her age is something. Most of her friends have sex and drink or have tried drugs. She has told them that they are foolish. I am very proud of her. She's not prefect, but at least she stands up for what she believes to her friends.

I also have a son who is 13. He usually tells me what is going one too. The only thing that he sneaks around about is when I find chocolate missing that I have bought for a reason. He loves chocolate. He will even eat my cake mixes. I wanted to make a cake the other day, I couldn't find my mix. I went to his room and found it. Box empty. I was a little bit ticked. Him and I sat down and had a talk about that.

I think that if you are open and honest with your kids, really talk with them, but also listen to them, you will have a good relationship with them.
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