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Teenagers So many parents of teens have said "just you wait!" But why? What are your thoughts on teens today?

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Old 07-11-2008, 08:18 AM
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Sueanne, I know, I've been thinking along those lines as well but not sure yet. I want to think it thru before I make another decision. I would not tell my ex, not telling my dbf either as he'll flip out, he's got the protective thing going on where the kids are concerned, which is wonderful but I've got enough to deal with, don't need him losing it.

I tried that link and could not get it to work. Lots to think over this weekend, lots to think on. Oops, spoke too soon, it worked. I see the age of consent is 17! We need to tell the teens in So. IL about that then! Lots of lawbreaking going on down here. No, it's not funny. I guess it's the time I grew up in that drives me, I was engaged, 19 before my now ex and I had sex. We can point a lot of fingers at the media, Hollywood, you name it but finding blame doesn't stop it from happening.

I really do appreciate everyone's comments, concern, hugs, all of it. I need a sounding board and that's what you've all been for me.
Thank you,
Lisa
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Last edited by Lislyn66; 07-11-2008 at 08:22 AM.
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Old 07-11-2008, 10:40 AM
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Lisa, sometimes the younger ones learn a whole lot more from the older ones, like what not to do because they see the effect it has. Sex that young is tough because of the emotional ties. And having emotional ties is healthy that young. Tough for everyone to figure out. Glad she talked with you. Agree that pill (alone) is not the greatest choice but that's a decision she needs to make. STDS are a huge concern now with AIDS. You might get some good advice from your local college, they specialize in young women in this activity. You could ask if you could go in with her from now on to the doctor visits, so you have the same information, you do love her and are her closest reliable resource with whom to talk. Now that you are not irate, you will begin to be reasonable and be able to lay out the whys and why nots. There are a ton of books out there on becoming chaste again after a slip up if she wants to try it, it is possible.
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Old 07-11-2008, 11:02 AM
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Ellen, Irate was probably mild to what I felt that day and the day after she told me. But now that I've calmed, big sigh, I AM looking at the big picture. I will also look into those books you mentioned. Thank you.

Lisa
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Old 07-11-2008, 11:46 AM
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Lisa---Sound off all you want. We are all here for you!
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Old 04-27-2009, 05:29 PM
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Lisa just found this site and decided to add my 2 cents. I have 3 dds so I know how you feel. Educating her is not the same as giving permission.
I gave my girls as much info as I could. That meant dd#3 knew more at an earlier age but she did fine. I also told them the only sure way to not get pg was to not have sex and I felt they were not mature enough to handle the emotional commitment they would feel. By 16 or 17 they are going to do what they think they need not what we think. My feeling was if they decided to have sex at least they would not be ignorant of everything that could happen
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Old 04-28-2009, 04:40 AM
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My oldest will be 13 next week and we've kicked up the "sex talk" in the past two months. Basically reaffirming the "wait until your married" thing because of all the deases and not being emotionally ready.

A couple of weeks ago Oprah had some good shows on that we taped and watched with her and had another talk afterwards.

It was interesting on the one show the 14 yr old couple that were ready to have sex and the boy's mother bought him condoms. After talking with the doctor who asked some really good questions about their relationship they decided or at least the girl did that she wasn't ready after all. Her look was priceless after the boy answered that a long term relationship was 6 months.

Roberta
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Old 04-28-2009, 09:40 AM
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Roberta I saw the show also and thought it was good. It is a great starting point to really get the conversation going. It is important to let them know your beliefs and the reasons why we think that way. We do have an influence on our kids. I also let my girls know if they had sex once did not mean they had to keep doing it. I tried to let them know they had control over their bodies always not some boy
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