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  #51 (permalink)  
Old 03-20-2005, 12:37 PM
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Pam, God love you...the pain is so fresh and so raw. Understandable. Don't hold unforgiveness towards others - they just don't understand. If someone has not walked in your shoes, they cannot have empathy - they can have sympathy...but empathy is different.
Dear Heavenly Father,
God today I lift up Pam and her family to you. I pray that You would surround her with love and peace in the midst of heartbreak. As she mourns Father, I pray that You would send her sincere hearted friends and family that will understand and help her to go through the grieving process. The sadness, the anger, the questions.... A mother's heart. Sometimes life is just so difficult.

Father, I pray that Pam would be able to conceive and bring a child to full term in good health. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Pam - sometimes there just is no answers. I know how you feel. I have been there twice already...there is a part of me that still mourns the loss of what never was...the dreams, the everything. I don't have to explain - you know where I am coming from. May God bless you with a peace that transcends all understanding.
******The power of our risen Jesus Christ can transform: My disposition (The way I act); My devotion (The things I love); and My destiny (Where I am going). Amen!*******
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  #52 (permalink)  
Old 03-20-2005, 10:29 PM
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yes this thread has been a good one and I cry every time I read it.

I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard to accept when others tell us that God is trying to tell us something as we know it is not true. We just have to forgive them their ignorance.

I don't know if you have read any of the other posts, but I posted a site above of a church that will take the names or dates of unborn and say continual prayers for them.

One of mine would be twelve this week along with his twin, who is thankfully still with me.
Post Card Angel

Children have never been very good at listening to their parents, but they have never failed to imitate them. Baldwin ~
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  #53 (permalink)  
Old 03-21-2005, 05:09 AM
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Thank you ladies, I know that she is trying to mean well but she has no clue as she has never had a m/c in her life & never will(she will be 64 this year). I love her but just do not want to deal with that right now. Thanks for the prayer, some days are better than others as you know, some days are extremely rough and I know the only way I get through those are with God beside me or carrying me. A few days I have felt arms around me when I could see no one there so I know whose they are. I know that he had a good reason for this but I won't know & understand proboly, but my heart says I want to know. I am trying to put my faith first in this but the hormones do not help the emotions. Thanks again.
Pam, wife of Don, Mother of Scott19, Richard6, & 3 angels in heaven!!
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  #54 (permalink)  
Old 03-22-2005, 12:56 PM
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I do understand your pain and suffering.
It took years for me to have three. I lost twins at 4 1/2 months.
In all I've had two ectopics, three live births and three confirmed SABs. They strongly suspected two other SABs but they were not confirmed. I was 38 when I had my last.
There is hope. I changed doctors. I was going to a well known and highly recommended fertility doctor. I was not happy.
He did every fertility test and proceedure that he could do with the exception of a chromosone study. He came up with no answers. I went to another doctor and with several questions and a simple blood test I had some answers.
The treatment was very simple and I have three wonderful children.
Don't give up hope and let the tears wash away the pain. Remember your losses but let go of the suffering.
People can say some really insensitive things. I"ve been there too. I'm sorry for your hurt.
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  #55 (permalink)  
Old 03-23-2005, 02:10 AM
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Dear Pam
My heart aches for you today as I read of your recent sorrow. It is hard to deal with everything that goes on at a time like this. Some people just don't get the whole grief thing and others don't understand that this was your baby. They haven't ever met your little one, so they don't acknowledge the reality of him or her. Only a mother truly knows what it is like, b/c we are the only ones who have felt the little one beginning to develop. The pain changes, as I'm sure you have found in the past. It becomes less jagged and somehow more bearable. Be kind to yourself. Take time to heal. Yes, our precious children are in Heaven, I truly believe that, but it still hurts not to have them here. Take care, sweetie

Love Meg
Every day we write a memory on the heart of our family. What memories did you write today?
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  #56 (permalink)  
Old 03-23-2005, 07:21 AM
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Meg, thanks you are right. Usually only a mom understands that it really is(was) my baby in there. Although this time since I passed the baby here at home my husband had to pick it up so we could take it to the ER with us. He said it made it so real for him to actually see it & hold it this time. Which has made him more empathetic to my feelings this time. Thanks for the support.
Pam, wife of Don, Mother of Scott19, Richard6, & 3 angels in heaven!!
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  #57 (permalink)  
Old 01-08-2009, 09:01 AM
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Is anybody still out there? I have no medical proof of being pregnant only the symptoms, I was probably a little over a month along. I started bleeding on Jan 1, two days later the blood was just pouring out. My pregnancy that I believed I had is gone. I feel numb sometimes, I wonder what is there to get up in the morning for and it feels like I am just going through the motions. My husband tries to understand, but being a man he can't fix it and tries to act like nothing ever happened.

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  #58 (permalink)  
Old 01-08-2009, 12:48 PM
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Hugs sweetie! I don't know what to tell you but you will survive this. God is here for you.
Don't stay were you are tolerated, go where you are celebrated!
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  #59 (permalink)  
Old 03-05-2010, 03:46 PM
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As far as I can tell I haven't responded to this inquiry before, so here it goes... I am 42 years of age, and have had two mis-carriages in the early trimesters. The first one I was not aware of, but was diagnosed as having occurred sometime before my regular physical check-up. The second one was also diagnosed at a check-up, but that one was for the clarification that my mild case of Chicken pox had cleared. I had a feeling that I would be rediagnosed with the miscarriage as some concerns with my health before and during my chicken pox out break were very similar to those I had had the year before - just before the first diagnoses. Both mis-carriages occurred within a two year time period. I have not had any known miscarriages since, nor do we have any "human" children of our own.
So yes, we do survive our miscarriages.
I may not have known about my children nor what gender(s) they were, but that doesn't mean that I do not think of them every so often and wonder what they would have been like if it were their time to be on earth. Yes, I do have my moments when I get depressed at not having them here with me, angered that I was not allowed to know them, but at the same time I know I am a survivor because I am still here - my time to go was not with them... I am still needed here for what ever the grand purpose is. I can only assume that they were conceived and ready to join us here on earth, but were needed more for someone else up there. I know a lot of non-christian folks who say that Heaven exists only in my mind and its an escape from dealing with real life issues, but even if they weren't meant for Heavenly duties, the fact remains that for what ever reasons they weren't meant for earth bound duties either. I'm more at peace now, then in those years, and there are moments where I think it is a cruel joke to be able to give so much love, caring, and guidance to other peoples children for a short period of time - an hour, day, week, month, year, but not a lifetime
If you see someone in need of help and you can do something, then do something — that goes for people and animals. If you can help out, try. That’s what I hope people take away from this.” -Alex Scroggins
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