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  #31 (permalink)  
Old 08-02-2002, 06:18 AM
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Jen-- your son's birthday is the day after mine, and he is about 1 1/2-2 mos. older than my middle child (Cassandra's birthday is Dec. 22)!

When I find out I am pregnant, we always wait until 12 weeks along to tell anyone (hoping that the major threat of miscarriage is past), but I try not to take for granted the successful outcome of the pregnancy until I have the new little baby healthy and happy in my arms! It can be hard to think in those terms, but there is a lot that can happen at any stage of pregnancy. I guess that is just all the more reason to be so thankful for the little ones the Lord has already given me!
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  #32 (permalink)  
Old 08-02-2002, 11:15 AM
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I know it is a terrible loss. I do think we survive but we do not forget. In 10 years I had 3 SAB's, 2 ectopics and 3 live births. The doctors felt very strongly that I had more SAB's but they were not confirmed and they were very early. The first SAB was with twins. The first ectopic could have killed me if it had reputured. I was rushed into surgery and they managed to save me but not my tube on that side. The second ectopic was in the other side and this time they used a drug to dissolve it. That to me was the most painful. Knowing that the child I wanted so badly I was going to have to get rid of.
The other bad thing was that most of these could have been prevented with the right Dr. I was going to a Dr. that just kept telling me to keep trying and then I went through all the testing and no problems or answers were found. Then I decided to go to another Dr. With a few questions and one simple blood test he figured out what was wrong and I have three wonderful children. I strongly encourage anyone who keeps having problems to investigate your problems with another Dr. With me I had a two fold issue but the treatment was easy. I was still considered high risk but I do have children now. Do some dectective work and find out all you can. Be well informed about your situation. Just becasue they are Drs that doesn't mean they have your best interest at heart or that they know everything or even care. That's not to take away from the good ones. There are some out there. Good luck and I hope time gives you healing.
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  #33 (permalink)  
Old 08-03-2002, 10:34 PM
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I too, think that we will always remember our lost pregnancies. (I hate that they call miscarriages abortions!!!) I lost my first child, on Valentine's Day and was so disappointed as we had been trying for so long. The ironic thing was that it happened while I was in a health department and away from home on the job. The doctor said there was nothing I could have done. We then conceived again several months later with twins. We were prepared, by medical personnel, that it was probable that both would be lost. Thankfully God allowed us to have one of them. I do wonder at times what the other one would have been like. When I have problems with my survivor, I just remember what a miracle he was and is. I know that God put him on this earth for a specific reason. I then had another know miscarriage. Then 4 years later a successful pregnancy resulting in a beautiful girl. A blood test indicated a high probability that she would be Downs, but it was very wrong. It kept us worried months for no reason!

It is also probable that I had other miscarriages but early enought that I did not know and was due to endometriosis. With the last two pregnancies I did not tell the family until we were sure that we would not miscarry. I know I will never forgot these unborn children, but I do not dwell on it. Just keep remembering them in my heart.
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  #34 (permalink)  
Old 08-04-2002, 05:43 AM
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you never forget

This is something you never forget. Right now is a really hard time for me as my first son was stillborn on Aug. 7th. He was a 9lb.4oz. baby with a hole in his heart. To think he would be turning 18 this year!! I have also had a miscarriage and fought infertility, But I have 2 beautiful children now, a daughter almost 12 and a son almost 5. We are so very protective of them after all we've been through and have them spoiled and love them to death.
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  #35 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2002, 04:18 AM
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In 1996 out third child was stillborn at 22 weeks. A perfectly formed little girl, with no deformities apparent in an autopsy. Who, other than God, knows why? Does it really matter? It happened and it hurt like crazy.
Following her birth, I haemorraged and was given an emergency hysterectomy. My family of 6+ was not to be.
Now I can look at my life and love every minute. I know it would be different with my Mikayla, and more different with the others I only ever dreamed of, but what I have now is great too. I miss her to bits. The day my son started kinder, I cried because I could go pick him up without being worried about the baby's sleep! Go figure!? Did I "cope" well?? Who knows? I'm still here.

I now work in early childhood and many of the parents I spend time with do not know of my journey.I can hug babies, love them, and hand them back with no regrets. Does this make it any easier? I will never forget my angel. I know she will be with me forever one day, and I guess that will make up for the few years here that I spend without her.

God bless you and bring you comfort and even joy.
Meg (Australia)
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  #36 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2002, 07:16 AM
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I miscarried my second baby, ON my 25th birthday,in 1987. I wa just beginning my 5th month. I "passed" him, as my Dr. put it, in my bathroom floor. There isn't a day go by that I don't think about him. there won't be a "closure" until I see him in Heaven someday!
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  #37 (permalink)  
Old 08-07-2002, 07:31 PM
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I too share your pain. In 1984, I delivered a still born son. It was a difficult time. No one in my family wanted to discuss the loss. They didnt want to dwell on it. I was expected to get over it since I had a 15 month old daughter. But i needed to talk but they didnt want to listen. A good friend came to my rescue.
she encouraged me to talk, to cry and to grieve. She shared my grief and my sorrow . Over the years i have long wanted to
to tell her how much I love her for being there for me. Every May 18, my sons birthday , I take a few private moments to grieve, to remember my loss and to rember the love and generiosity of a good friend . My heart will always ache just a little but I have moved on.
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  #38 (permalink)  
Old 08-08-2002, 10:35 AM
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Wow, what a subject. We lost our Kyle three years ago when I was 5 months pregnant. It was so hard on me! I went into counseling immediately since my family didn't seem to be able to help me get through the pain. My mother-in -law informed me that it was God's way of punishing my husband and I for not "bein g in church" like we should. She should be thankful we were talking on the phone at that moment!!
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  #39 (permalink)  
Old 08-28-2002, 08:57 AM
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I have 3 living children but the last one almost didn't come into this world. After having two successful pregnancys I became pregnant with my third. Everything seem to be going fine untill I was standing in the kitchen and began to get sharp pains in my side. I mean SHARP!! I went to the Dr. to discover I had a tubular pregnancy and would have to terminate with medicine. The pain of losing this child overwhelmed me. I cryed and cryed. My husband and I decided that 2 children was enough and was going to have my tubes tied. When I went to Dr. after 10 weeks to check and make sure everything was okay,we was told that I was pregnant again. Dr. was not to happy with me for becoming pregnant again before my body had healed fully. I am now looking at that precious 2 yr old boy watching blues clues.
I will forever mourn the baby I lost but am so happy to have 3 wonderful children. God works in mysterous ways.

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  #40 (permalink)  
Old 08-28-2002, 02:05 PM
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Ladies, thank you so much for your posts. It really helps to read all that you've written.

I found out a few weeks ago I was pregnant with our 5th. I was shocked and cried for about a week. Then, once I got over the shock, I got happy and excited about it. Then, I miscarried on Monday. It was such a shock as I have always had easy, even pleasant pregnancies. I'm not sure if I'll have to have a d&c (I hope not!) Anyway, I find that I have some moments of sadness and then some moments of being okay, that I know God's hand is on this.

Thank you so much for being here and for letting me share!

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