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Old 01-19-2003, 04:06 AM
nocashmissy's Avatar
FamilyCorner Newbie
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: ohio
Posts: 69
The wicked or cool step mom

I've been reading these topics. I am a stepmom too. My husband and I have 3 kids total. his mine and ours. but they are alll ours. I've always treated my step daughter like my boys. She hasnt' always lived with us until 4 months ago. When we moved into the same school district she moved in with us. She is 16 now. Oh ya . Of course my husband has always put her on this pedalstool but just in the last week ,as we would say "The HONEYMOON is over". He has graduated from weekend, give anything she wants dad to a dad of a 16 yr old girl. And beleive me she don't like it. I've always treated her like a child and been a mom to her and not a friend all the time. Of course my husband has finally realized that she needs rules. for 4 months we have fought over the rules. and I think she needs to be a little responsible. She wants a car but doesn' want a job. Dh bought a cheap car but it needs a few repairs(shocks and radio) She thought when she turned 16 she was going to drive to school and do this and that . Then reality struck, DAddy said get a job. You have to pay for gas. And I told her she or the car wasn't on my insurance yet. She of course thought being rude to me and being her 16 self I would jump up and call the insurance co. 2 days went buy and she asked me about it. I said Sorry I don't have the extra cash to put you on my insurance and the car isn't fixed. GET A JOB and help out. Plus she doesnt even have her Drivers Lis. yet.
She refuses to ride the bus to school and catches a ride to school but when her friend is sick she wants me too. I took her once and told her she had to ride the bus or find a ride. I have job to go to. I know I sound harsh but she has no responbility and I know her mom made her do everything at her house but my home is not a vacation home. So Just everyone keep their chins up and stick to your guns. I have for 11 years . Kids play their parents if they are together or apart and siblings do anything to get the other in trouble. It is like that at my house and I just basically take one problem at a time. And communication is very important with the spouse. Let them know how you feel. "They might get mad but why keep it in and let the anger build. I used to do that. I feel I have a good relationshiop with my st.daughter. She knows she can ask me anything or do just about anything for her and my boys know they can come to me. But the older they get the more responsiblilty I give them and they need to make choices of their own.
My husband and I have been together since she was 5 and since my oldest was 2 so that could be a diffeerence but belive me we have had our turmoil over the years.
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