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Step-Parenting Ask other step-parents your questions about being a step mom.

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Old 05-12-2007, 06:01 PM
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I agree with everything that has been said, Dave needs to get a place of his own, that no key should be give to his parents and that Dave needs to get a back bone and stand up for himself that he is the baby's father and he is in charge. I am not sure that will truly happen, though, until he has his own place and be prepared that his parents may try to throw road blocks in his way on his road to true independence. good luck and I hope things improve
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Old 05-12-2007, 08:51 PM
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LadyCrimson, I think you should decide whether or not you want to be involved with a man who is still living with his parents and being controlled by his parents. You have no rights to the child, especially since you aren't married to him. You aren't family or anything. I know it is tough to watch all this happen. The only thing I would advise you to do is to ask your significant other to go into couples counseling with you. You both may be able to resolve some of the issues that are causing him to pick his mother over his visitation rights or maybe even you. That would be my suggestion.
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Old 05-14-2007, 07:53 AM
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Family counciling is a great idea, just make sure you have a good one . Get references!
You've heard the old saying "kill them with kindness"? Well, it does work, and you can put your foot down with kindness. Its all in the tone of voice and with a smile on your face.
You really need to get your own place, with or without Dave. Being in Dave's parents home is a big mistake. Its their home and they feel they have the right to make the rules. They don't, but it is their house.
My first priority would be to find out if "Dave" really wants to move out from his folks house. If he does, then I'd help him get out a.s.a.p. Talk to him about setting boundries and keeping them, BUT never, never say anything against his folks. ... It backfires every time. If he doesn't really want to move out, you may have to cut your losses and get your own place.
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Old 05-14-2007, 08:09 AM
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Family counciling is a great idea, just make sure you have a good one . Get references!


Good suggestion! A bad therapist can make a huge difference or even make the problem worse.

Quote:
BUT never, never say anything against his folks. ... It backfires every time.


Excellant advice! That is something that came up with my DD and I had to tell her that. HE can badmouth his parents, but the spouse/girlfriend should never do it.
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Old 05-21-2007, 02:56 PM
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I agree with everyone about the "get your own place", don't dis the parents, etc.

Could you and Dave take Collin to the park or somewhere out of the house, to spend some time with him away from the g'parents?
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