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Step-Parenting Ask other step-parents your questions about being a step mom.

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Old 08-24-2006, 07:21 AM
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Thank you all for your input. I appreciate all the advice you give me. I totally agree with what you're all telling me. I've communicated my feelings until I'm blue in the face. I've suggested counseling and the answer was no.

My dear g/f is not consistent at all with her son. No routine or schedule. She'll try for a day and than stops or does things differently or later the next day. We've talked and talked about it. She knows what she has to do but guess what....she doesn't do it! *pulling my hairs*

Last night I started reading a step-parenting book that talks about the realities of step-parenting. As I read, I was amazed that I am not alone with my feelings. It felt good to know that because I've been walking around with guilt. I even read my g/f some of the quotes in the book. We talked again briefly about changes that need to take place. I told her, it's important for your son and it's important for our relationship as well.

This morning back to the same thing. *shrug*

Now you see why I question whether it's a hopeless case or not?

I'm going to try to answer some of the questions you have asked. I have been in their lives now for 2.5 yrs...since he was 3yrs old. We've been living together for over a year. I have been helping financially support him. He sees his dad once or twice a year. His dad will now be paying child support starting in September. *knocking on wood* He's been trying to avoid it. Great guy huh?

I know my g/f is hurt because she sees that the relationship between her son and I isn't getting any better. But I feel it's her fault for not making the changes that need to be made. And you want to know the irony of it all, she watches Super Nanny faithfully. *shaking head*

Thanks again,

Marco

Last edited by Marco; 08-24-2006 at 07:23 AM.
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Old 08-24-2006, 10:29 AM
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Marco, I am glad that you have that book. Have you thought about starting a Step-parenting thread? It could be a place for step-parents to meet for support and exchange ideas that have worked in the past.

Your gf needs to make her DS demonstrate respect to you. If he treats you badly, he should be punished. I agree with you that children need structure in their life. Tell your gf that Dr. James Dobson has a wonderful book called, "Dare to Discipline." This book and any other of his parenting books are worth the read. I remember when my children were small and he talked about parents saying, "I am not going to tell you again," and how the children know that doesn't really mean this is the last chance to do what has been told. I saw myself and realized that I needed to be consistent. One last time should mean just that. Another great book that your gf would like, if it is still in print is, "Raising Self Reliant Children in a Self Indulgent World." Good luck Marco!
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