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Old 01-08-2004, 01:13 PM
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I am so frustrated. I have a 4YO and a 1YO and I feel like I am going crazy. I am a SAHM. Last year, I was put on Zoloft for post partum depression, and I never went off of it, as my mother died almost 8 months ago.

I don't know, if it's hormones, my kids' ages, or my personality...but it does seem that "monthly" for like 2 weeks, I can't take it anymore. My 4YO is at the stage where he forgets to do what you say or he refuses. He, also, seems to love his brother so much, that his brother just wants to get away from him. My 1YO is trying to walk, he's teething and he is trying to deal with people telling him "no" all the time.

I don't know how many times I have had to repeat myself to them, specifically my 4YO. He is a good student at school, everyone raves about well as my 1YO. That's where I wonder, if it's me. But I have contemplated for a few months now, that maybe they should up my prescription for Zoloft, specifically after ovulation, as it does seem MUCH worse then. Then, today, I thought it would be a great idea to go back to work.

I am SURE that this is what happens being a mother, whether you stay home or not, but I am just SO tired of having to repeat myself, and having my kids screaming and crying. I feel like I am doing a poor job, despite being told otherwise from family, friends and the pediatrician.

Is there light at the end of the tunnel?
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Old 01-09-2004, 11:39 AM
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Jen, Im sorry that I cant give you any advice but I wanted you to know that youre not alone. I swear that I couldve written your post to the tee! My 6 yr. old son is so mouthy sometimes that I could just stangle him!! Everyone else just raves about him. My daughter is almost 7 1/2 months and is getting the "NOs" all of the time too. There is so much stress in our house right now from the news that my DH is going to lose his job-whenever his company decides to dump their decision on us plus we got a call 2 days ago that my MIL has been given just a few days to live. We are financially strapped now and have to dig up money from somewhere to go to NY tomorrow.
Sorry, I started rambling......

Do you have any down time at all by yourself? I dont have a lot of time alone but I do have a couple of hours at night after DH has gone to work and the kids are in bed...its 10:30pm to 12:30 am. That is late but sometimes it is so worth it to lose a couple of hours sleep for my peace of mind! I spend some time here at FC then, reading magazines, taking a long shower or sometimes falling asleep on the couch, LOL!!

I hope things get better for you soon!!


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Old 02-20-2004, 04:46 AM
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I have 3 boys ages 14,10, and 5. They drive my crazy most of the time. My 5 year old will start school this fall. I am dreading it so much. He is always with me. I don`t know how I will make it without here all the time. I fuss at him sometimes then I think he will be going to school soon and I will miss him. He is the last one we will have. I have started quilting so I will have something to occupy my time when he is not here. Hubby wants me to get a job but the will be hard because of the kids in school. I can`t get one that will work with there schedule.

My 14 year old thinks he knows everything and has an attitude. My 10 year old aggreviates the 5 year old alot. And the 5 year old has to be with me all the time. Which I will miss when he goes to school. He still sleeps with us. He won`t stay in his bed at all. Does anyone have any suggestions on that?
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Old 02-23-2004, 07:18 AM
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I just came accross tis thread..and does it ever bring back memories!!

Jen.. You are NOTnuts!!.. I hope you found that out by now...

This is a really hard stage of motherhood.. I had a book the title was " Your Four Year Old --- Friend or Foe" Does that say it all righ there??

It's an exhausting age, where they are testing out their independance..and resenting it at the same time.!!

And a one-year old! Talk about an emotional tinderpox on feet!! my gosh.. girl, you need a regular babysitter,,during the daytime, and a Mother's day out group of ladies to have lunch with at LEAST once a week--- And yes..zoloft is good... My perscription was Prozac.. lol..(no kidding) ..

The girls are now 13 and 8, and there is still a lot of troublesome days (and evenings) but there is nothing so demanding ..physically or emotionally as when they were little... Now I can send them off to be on their own without fear of thm dying or burning down the house in the process... Whew!!


It sounds like you are wondering what you will do when your nest gets empty...

Who will be having worse seperation anxiety? You or your DS?

Maybe now is the time to start the process.. Talk to hiim about school and everything as a new adventure that you and he will tackle together.

As for working.. Men don't understand that Mothers DO work.. Full time too.. Let him figure out what it would cost to PAY for the work you are doing at home... You need to be there when the kids get home from school. That's not negotiable. What kind of trouble would a 14 and 10 year old get into after school home alone? ask him that ? LOL!!

So... Maybe you could make plans for you to take some classes too! Go back to school for "career enhancement courses". Maybe he's like the sound of that ,,, so that when the kids are older you can work full time and be more employable... Is there anything you have wanted to do..( even sneak in asome areobics, or ceramics calsses .. (?? maybe??) Or book some lunch and movie dates with some girlfriends to get you through the rough transitions whenyour little guy is starting out...

As for the sleeping arangements.. maybe you should start weaning him out of your bed now. Start by sleeping with him in HIS bed. That will make his bed a nice place to be. Do a bedtime ritual.. songs or stories after his bath.. a cup of cocoa before teeth brushing.. whatever the ritual will be...

That's what I did with my DD.. That way..when she fell asleep I could go back to my own bed, without her waking up. True... she would wake up at night and come get me a lot.. But that wore off after a while.

It was a tough couple of months ( yes MONTHS) but in the long run it was well worth it to have her out of my husband's and my bed. We actually started ahving sex again which made us both very happy... And he stopped bugging me about finding a job ( for a while at least ) Men are sooo easy LOL !!

I hope you ladies are doing OK...

Let me know how it all goes...

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Old 02-23-2004, 08:36 AM
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Hi !
You are not going crazy ! Its so hard being a woman, a mother, a wife, cook, maid, etc.......the list goes on & on.

I'm a sahm w/ a 3 & 4 yrs old. One is a major drama queen,
another a 'want-to-do-it-himself-indepent-boy. *sigh*
They are drive me crazy. But also you mentioned it's a'monthly'
thing. each month I feel like I'm losing it. It happenes sometimes a week before my period to a couple of days before, or during, or after. OMG, it can get so bad. All I want to do is cry, I get migraines. But I have to function, I have to be mom.

I've searched & looked on the net for answers.
What I found is that, I'm at the prime age for major PMS.
(35 - 40) I'm read that a woman needs 1200mg of calicum a day. so I'm doing that now, I'm taking Primrose oil, takes the edge off.
Excediran for my migraines.

You're not alone.

we have too many hormones & they are always changing on us.
sorry if I rambled too much.
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Old 02-26-2004, 06:07 AM
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We have a toddler bed right beside ours and Nickolas won`t even sleep in that any more. He says he`s scared. I asked him the other day when he was going to get out of our bed and he said never. He aslo has a bunk bed in his room which he shares with my 10 year old. He has never slept there. I keep saying that I will sleep in there with him but never have. Which is my fault. Hubby won`t help me with this either.

My hubby would love to have our bed to ourselves so we could have more sex to. He asked my last night if I could pencil him in for some time alone and it never happened. I told him its hard when we have the boys especially Nickolas around all the time.

I never get time to myself, but I did get to go out by myself over the weekend and it felt so good. That is few and far between.

Thanks for the good advice.
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Old 02-26-2004, 08:57 PM
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I don't know how you feel about the whole subject, each mom has a different take on this.. but maybe you should think about finding a child psychologist who has some expertise in helping kids cope with seperation anxiety issues. These guys can offer wonderful stratigies to kids for helping them feeli more in control when they feel so frightened and anxious. They can help us parents with the tools we need to help our kids too...

When my oldest dd was younger, I needed a few sessions with a child psych, and it was the best thing I could have done. It gave me, not only some great resources, but also the courage to trust my instincts more... And as for dd.. it helped her tackle her own fears...

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