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Old 01-07-2009, 09:29 AM
BubbleMum's Avatar
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Sad face Expat stay at home momma having a bad day :(

Hi all I am so sorry because I know this is such a positive site and I just dont feel positive right now. I dont know how else to get my feelings out and I just feel so tired with it all.
We have been living in Cyprus now for 2 months. My DH works all of the time and I sat at home with my 3 and nearly 5 uear old. I do like being a stay at home mom but I just am missing my own mother and my best friend sooo much I cannot stop the tears tonight. I was on the webcam with my parents in Ireland and I had to come off because the boys were playing up (they do this because they always have my attention otherwise) and I jnust knew I was going to cry but I didnt want to upset my mum or dad because they arent in the best health. I just want to hug my dad and mum and I cant right now. I have not made any friends here yet and I feel soo isolated at the minute and it is really exhausting me. The children are now in bed and I cant even go back online with my parents because i am so upset. I just want to go to my friends house and hug her and cry my eyes out til I feel better and I cant. I am so so sorry because none of you know me and I am usually the one with the brave face but I cannot do it tonight but I dont want anyone back home knowing that because they will worry.
I want to be the best mum i can but i feel like it is slipping out of my control, I thank God every day for my children for they are the best thing to ever happen to me, I just want to be happy again for them. it is so hard keeping the smiling face on for them every day.
I am so sorry for rambling, I just didnt know what else to do. I know things will get better, and that i will have bad days but this is truly the first in a while. I miss Ireland so much but I know here is better for my children. I just need to focus on my children and home and keep myself busy. Thank you all for this site as it is a great place for me to lose my thoughts for 10 minutes in a day. I know maybe I am in the wrong place as I am in Europe, but FC is so friendly and full of home stuff that i feel comfortable here.

I will go now as my littlest is looking for a comfort from me.

Thank you for reading this far and I apologize for it too!
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Old 01-07-2009, 07:09 PM
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First of all, thanks to the Internet and forums like this one, we are all really from the same place. You are as welcome here as anyone.

I am sorry you are having such a bad day. I can only imagine what you must be feeling. I can hear that you are a wonderful mother and a caring wife. Do your children have friends there? If so, maybe you could try to meet and become friendly with some of their friends parents. If not, if there is a play group, preschool etc. those are great places to meet new people. You do have to be the one to open the doors though and make the first move, but after that, I am sure you will find a new best friend where you are. The friends you will make will never replace the ones you left, but it will be a great adventure. I wish we lived closer, for I think we could be good friends! Good luck to you.
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Old 01-07-2009, 07:51 PM
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Bless your heart! I think we all have days when we just can't be positive and when we are in need of some time to cry and talk.

First, is there a way that you can contact your far-a-way friends via the Internet? That would at least help comfort you. Also, you should find child care or something so that you can get out once a week and meet people and make new friends. I know I hated it when I first moved to NM and knew nobody. Now my DH has been transferred to OK and I am going to dearly miss my NM friends. I wouldn't trade my friends for anything in the world. If you can't find childcare, you can always take your kids to events in which other parents would come with their children. Friends who have children your age would be excellent to interact with. Just having a plan to contact your friends and making new friends might be enough to cheer you up a little bit.

Hang in there.
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Old 01-08-2009, 10:21 AM
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Happy face thank you

DeBora and Cooked thank you so much for your kind encouraging words!

I really do feel so much better today, think it was just a freak out moment of weeks of stress and worry and missing people also. I feel a little embarrased about the post but I did find it a release as I slept the best I have done in a while. I think I just need to decide that I am not going to give in to these feelings becaue they could burn me out and will not help. I met up with another mom i met online today and our kids had such a great time. I dont feel like we connected but at least it was a start , right?

Also I know my confidence has dropped with lots of things and my MIL is visiting in feb so i will use her support to try to get out more.

I also intend to visit the Church of England on the Army base as I feel I need to refind my faith right now, I'd like to help with playgroup or sunday school there.

So I feel more positive today about the steps i can take to help myself! Thankyou
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Old 01-08-2009, 12:50 PM
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Sounds like you have a good plan!
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Old 01-08-2009, 01:16 PM
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Oh, Stephanie, I am SO sorry, but I'm very glad that you posted. This a wonderful group of ladies here to reach out to. Everyone is so caring, you will find. I can feel your pain, having been in similar situations before. We were in Germany for three years, with a baby, too, and my dh would be gone for months at a time. Just telling you to make you feel better. It is so hard being in another country, different language, alone a lot, and away from all that's familar. ((Big hugs to you!)) It helps to have a network of moms so that you don't feel so lonely and have a break from the stress. It sounds like you have an excellent start on that. And don't be embarrassed. I will be praying for you! Hang in there-you are doing a great job!
Jamie.
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Old 01-09-2009, 06:43 PM
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Stephanie, I am sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time right now. It does sound like you have a good plan on how to meet people and get out there. Church is a wonderful place to meet people. It is hard making friends in a new place. Children are great "friend makers" though. Taking them to a park, a play group, the library and they might just make a friend whose parent you could connect with. Also, here on FC you will make friends in no time. I am a work at home mom and I know the ladies on here are sometimes my only adult conversation! And do you and your parents have webcams? They are a great way to see each other while talking which could also help them not seem so far away. I do hope things get better for you.
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Old 01-10-2009, 05:08 AM
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Hi Stephanie, sounds like something we've all been through! Hang in there, you have a good plan. And you're right FC is a place you can vent all you need to and still be loved.
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Old 01-11-2009, 03:51 AM
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hope your days are better now YES your church is a good place to start!!!! I know it wasnt a far off land...but where ever you are and no family or friends its hard!!! been there done that lol
hang in there girl!!!!!
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Old 01-11-2009, 11:07 PM
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Happy face Thank you !

I am really thankful that I found FC because I am glad I posted when I felt like that because your kind support has helped me through that stage.

I have been on other forums but this one really is a comfort to me! We have set up web-cams and it is wonderful to let the parents see their grandchildren, many tears and smiles!

A new dilema now is that my kids are going to be starting in nursery next week and I honestly do not know what to do when I am by myself. They are so looking forward to it but my heart cracks a little every time I think of leaving them at the gate...

But I will get through that also, and hopefully find 'stephanie' again, as it has just been mammy for so long!

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