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Old 06-22-2013, 07:17 PM
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How have things been going?
When my nephews kids talk back, they are told that it is not appropriate and they have time out and lose a privilege which is usually no computer time that day.
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Old 06-22-2013, 08:56 PM
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Hi Coll
My kids are all past the talking back these days but but I still tell them
to behave as I'm still their mum and can bop them on the behind lol

Last time a few years back one of them talked back to me and I asked if they'd
treat their teacher that way, he said no and I asked then why was this so different
from me ... he then left with a point to ponder
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Old 06-23-2013, 06:29 AM
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A majority of the members know that I have no children, I have had a hand in assisting of the raising of my Sister's first set of children, and am an unemployed Pre-K teacher...with that said, I have to share that many of the children in my classes which varied in ages between 6 mo and 6 years, whose parents reminded their children to always be respectful of others, and were only back talkers when they were tired (or sick) during school hours. Understanding the way children think is sometimes difficult for adults, in my case, it was easier to remind the children in my classes that unless their parents have made a note in their file, they were required to "rest" with their classmates after lunch, that it doesn't mean sleeping, that is optional, but they need to be on their mats for at least 45 of the 60 minutes quietly. Usually this worked, when it didn't we assigned "helpers" to take them to a play area, to work off their energy. Sometimes this would take the whole rest time and we would let the parents know their child may be more tired then usual that night. There is no quick fix, and it may take several conversations with the child/ren, and possibly a chores list. in pre-K classes children are allowed to help out with cleaning and prepping of some activities in class. One child would use the broom, another the dust pan, wash clothes, monitoring washing hands line, counter in/out lines, getting mats out, assisting others to make their mats /cots, assisting with passing food around the table, un-setting the table (no glassware), etc. We did rewards....Class rewards, which would be presented at the end of the week. The rewards would be everything from 15 minutes of play time during rest hour to a movie party. The more children with reward points the better the reward at the end of the week. Points weren't taken away, but they weren't given for miss-behaviors either. Chores were always volunteerism, but "clean-up" time was mandatory and reward points were given at times similar to this (behavior during "all" class activities), and based on the child's abilities.
Now about my older niece and nephew...these two were born in the mid to late 1980's, so they are the beginning of the "me" generation. The niece was a back-talker in her Pre-K years, mainly because she was "learning" her limits with each set of family members they were with, and yes, it was ever changing for them, as their own parents were slackers when it came to disciplining them. My BIL and my Sister were (and she still is now - even w/her 2 family) more interested in being their friends rather than their parents. Yet, myself (and my hubby), my (now ex-) BIL's family were good at holding our ground and having consequences for them to redirect their behavior. Such as being grounded, not giving cash / credit rewards, treating them both with respect, and letting them "learn" consequences from the authorities involved. The niece is currently in her mid 20's and seems to be on the right track of where she hopes to be by 35, where as the nephew is "still" learning consequences, but doing better than say 5 years ago (he's in his early 20's).
No, not every child will become like my nephew has, but my niece (and the pre-k children) are proof if you hold your ground, and find creative ways to not let your limit pushing children lose their boundaries, you will have respectable children - who will respect themselves as well.
I commend you parents and guardians who are and have kept the respect up by modeling the behavior you want your child/ren to demonstrate.
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Old 06-25-2013, 09:50 PM
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I agree you must stick by your decisions
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Old 05-21-2014, 07:44 PM
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When my kids were young, they got a smart pop on the bottom, and if/when that failed to rein them in, a proper spanking followed.

When they got older, privileges were removed and orderly bedtimes were administered as an added measure to affirm the seriousness of order, politeness, and respect.

Margaret
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Old 05-22-2014, 05:32 AM
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hmmm, well, when they were younger they would get a swipe with a bar of soap on their tongues, and this is even after we all watched A Christmas Story story together. They didn't backtalk as much as teens. Mostly humor would work. A bit sassy this afternoon are we? Or I would respond with a question as in, why are you talking with me that way? Is there something going on? I would ask them to be introspective so they understood the effect their words were having on those around them. It helped that they had four gals in the neighborhood who had really smart mouths on them and how awful it sounded to others.
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Old 05-24-2014, 04:04 PM
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Back talking came from my daughter mostly, and it happened most of the time when she didn't have her way or she hung around the wrong people. My son would do it but all we had to say was something such as would you like to have _______taken away from you. He didn't like to be in trouble or create problems.
My daughter on the other hand was a totally different game, and it seemed harder we tried to make her stop more she would do it. It was like she stood her ground and was going to have it her way.

In her teens she decided not to live with us due to the rules and we told her she could open or there the door, not to back talk was in those rules, along with other things. She chose to live and go live with her dad. BIG mistake!!!

Granddaughters, we would take privileges away, just like we did with my kids.
I even got them on a ticket program where they could earn tickets or they could be taken away, and back talking was one way they would love a ticket or more, depending on if they stopped the first time we told them to stop or if they continue on and on.
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