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Scouting (Girls) Daisies, brownies, girl scouts! Are you a leader or parent looking for ideas, crafts, support? Ask your questions and share your knowledge here!

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Old 05-25-2002, 12:31 PM
Cherk's Avatar
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blushing Leader's Daughter Misbehavior

I have been a leader for two years now (Daisy's and first year Brownies), and I am having issues that I know are not unique. All troops have their "active" girls and their "shy" girls. My daughter has always been one of the "active" types, but with me as the leader, she really seems to act out/misbehave even more. I guess she is showing off that the leader is HER mom or trying to get more attention or something. She acts goofy a lot (trying to get attention and make the other girls laugh), she interrupts a lot when I am trying to lead a discussion. Help!

It was particularly bad last year as Daisies because I was the only leader. This year I have a co-leader, and that has helped some (my co-leader will try to handle her if she is interrupting a discussion) but it has not eliminated the problem entirely.

Anybody had similar experiences?
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Old 05-25-2002, 05:21 PM
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i was a shy kid so that wasn't a problem for my mom when she was the leader of the troop my sister and i were in. when the other leader deals with your daughter when she interups what does she do? does she just say something to her or does she remove her from the group? if your daughter is not listening to verbal rempremands, you might try a time out where she sits away from the group. if she continues to disrupt things after the time outs, then you might want to take away privleges at home, such as tv or something like that.
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Old 05-27-2002, 08:05 PM
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I can totally relate! I was the assistant leader for GS, and the den leader for Cub Scouts. My son was the same way, I was lucky with my daughter.

However, the leader of the Brownies this year was not as lucky as me. Her daughter was terrible about misbehaving in the meetings.

Here are a couple of suggestions that may help:

1) Explain to your daughter that you are doing this for her and for you. That you enjoy the time you can spend together, but that you are responsible for the well being and care of all the girls in the troop. Explain that her distractions can make it difficult to enjoy the meetings, put the girls at risk, and possibly cause your daughter undo embarrasment because of the way she is acting. Establish this before going to the meetings and let her know that you are the leader in the meetings, not just mom, and that she will be reprimanded the same way that any other Brownie or Girl Scout would be.

Once #1 is established....

2) When in the meeting, make the rules and consequences very clear to ALL the girls. Explain the rules and tell them what will happen if they break the rules. When your daughter (or any other girl) breaks the rules, follow through. Treat her the same as any other girl in the meeting. Having the co-leader reinforce your decision will show your daughter (and the other girls) that you mean business and won't tolerate the disruptions.

It's natural for them to show off with Mom around, but you can't let that rule the meetings. You will all be a lot happier if you nip it in the bud early!

Good luck and thank you for being a volunteer leader!!!
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Old 05-28-2002, 08:20 AM
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I totally understand what you are saying. I am a cubscout leader and my son is a comlete terror. I have actually sent him to his room during meetings because of his horrible behavior. I have told him that I am doing this for him. I have told the whole group what acceptable and unacceptable behavior is. My son just doesn't get that what isn't allowed with me normally also doesn't fly when he is in a meeting. This coming year he will be a wolf and I told him that we will just have to quit next year if the behavior he shows does not live up to the Cub Scout promise. This might work since he wrote a paper during school stating that he wants to be an Eagle Scout. Only time will tell.
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Old 05-28-2002, 10:01 AM
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Thank you for your responses. I guess it is a "time will tell" type of strategy. As we are at the end of the year and won't be starting up again until September, it will be a good time to establish those "troop" rules again. We try to have the girls input on "expected behavior" and meeting rules. What types of meeting rules do you guys use? Just trying to think of some off the top of my head, we usually come up with respect people (leaders and other girls), be nice/friendly, etc. Maybe we need to be more specific. Instead of respect leaders and other girls, maybe don't interrupt when someone else is speaking. Any suggestions on specific meeting rules?
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Old 05-28-2002, 11:11 AM
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One of the things that really seemed to make an impact on our girls was to tell them that the same rules apply in the meeting as do at school.
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Old 06-05-2002, 07:16 AM
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Re: Leader's Daughter Misbehavior

How I found that to solve the stress with my daughter is I explained the rules of what it takes to be a REAL Girl Scout....and especially being the child of a Leader, it was important that she follow and set an example because it was what it took to be a Leaders daughter. (Made her feel like she was a mini leader) (Do realize she is the "baby" all her siblins are grown & on their own. so it is as though she is an only child)I explained to her that as much as she is number 1 in my heart.....that during our meetings, it is unfair & hurtful to the others if I do not treat them equal. Went throught the speech of "if it were you, how would you feel"etc.......Well before I knew it
she had adjusted to sharing me with other girls and began to help out those who needed it. What gave her the boost of self esteem was when she did calm down I allowed her to help me with the Daisies......she loved it! That seemed to have made a world of difference. If you know other leaders, talk to them and see if it would be ok that your daughter assist them....(she to will earn a patch) even if it is to hand out the snacks, or to sit with them and color.......children as adults need to feel a sense of placement. Hope this brings you some comfort......

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Old 06-15-2002, 08:58 PM
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I took a different approach...I have a younger troop than my daughters.;-) I have a small daisy troop here. when i first started it was a brownie troop with 2 daisy tagalongs. nothing like a combo troop my eldest is very clingy and decided that some time and space betwwen us was for the better (hubby is away alot:mad: and we are always together ) when we moved here decided that I would only help out in a troop was they needed a daisy leader and i figured that would be a good way to volunteer no cookie sales lol and it has been fun!! plan on doing it next year too!! then we move again so we will see.
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