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Old 12-05-2008, 10:45 AM
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Forgivness

Bluebird, Everyone has given you good advice I hope you take it. I know prayer is what worked for me. Once I had my wrongful ways revealed to me through prayer I asked God to help me overcome these ways and by the grace of God, He helped me not only to be able to forgive and get on with my life He also showed me that I was also selfish and I asked some one in our family to forgive me for that and by the grace of God I was forgiven. I will pray that God will help you over come whatever unforgiveness you are dealing with and help you put the past behind you.
Believe that your prayers will be answered and put your faith and trust in the Lord. God bless you.
Shirl43
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Old 12-05-2008, 11:26 AM
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I am feeling MUCH better lately. I do try to stay away from people here, due to past history. Someday we will move so we can start fresh. I am hanging on to that. Somedays I feel so beaten down by all that has happened. Other days I do okay.

I see moving as getting on a rainbow and walking away from all the hurt towards a new life.
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Old 12-05-2008, 01:45 PM
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Dear Bluebird;
You asked for advice on dealing with Forgiveness and received quite a lot of great information from the posters and your own family. Prayer and communication being the top on the list. Understand I am not in any way judging you, but I do have to wonder if you have actually asked for your own forgiveness, or if you are allowing the past hurts to control your inner peace? Trust me I know it is really hard even with prayer to forgive ones-self for things we have little to no control over, and even after we ask God for forgiveness of others, sometimes we forget to ask for own forgiveness because sometimes we just can not let go and forget, or the hurt of the issue seems bigger then God It's not. And as you continue to change your life's path may you always remember to ask for your own forgiveness, strength, and peace regardless of the situation(s) you have little to no control over. Like the others, I too shall say a prayer for you, and hope that the rainbow you're traveling continues to improve your self worth and happiness.

Sincerely,
JEn
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Old 10-16-2009, 05:43 PM
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I have been trying very hard on forgiving people. I have held grudges all my life and it is time 2 stop but easier said than done....
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Old 10-16-2009, 06:20 PM
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Connie, I agree that there are many terrific Bible versus that will help. Many Bibles have a concordance that will give you a list of versus on forgiveness.

Also, many people cannot put themselves in the shoes of others. Then, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, someone doesn't understand what you are going through so they treat you like you have a contentious disease. You don't know why they are treating you this way so you become resentful of them for treating you badly, because you don't realize they do not know your situation. Then, you start walking around with a chip on your shoulder. Now, total strangers meet you and think you are such a bad person. If they have heard the rumors, they now believe them.

I have learned that some people are not going to like you. No matter what you do, they are going to think what they think. I cut my losses as they really aren't losses if you only like you if you are a certain way or don't like you no matter what. Why spend all your energy being angry and not forgiving them? The way I see it is that you can give it to God and let him deal with it. You do the best you can in life and if you walk tall and hold your head up high, most people will like you. If you hold grudges, people will sense that and it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This is how I handle it and it works for me. You can tailor it to fit you.
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Old 10-16-2009, 06:25 PM
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I have found that in my life when it's hardest to forgive, is when we really need to forgive the most- When Jesus was hanging on the cross, He said, Father, forgive them, they know not what they do - Sometimes when I really don't want to let go, I try to remember that - It's really hard because we are human & we want to get even - When I finally let go & forgive, I feel so much happier in my life & it is for me & my family & no one else - I also try to be kind to those who have wronged me - The bible says, to heap kindness on your enemies & it will be like coal to their heads!! Not that we want to make them burn or anything like that!!! LOL It's really hard to forgive those who have wronged us but is even harder when they hurt our children - Prayers for you & your family.
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Old 10-17-2009, 12:52 PM
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I am working on forgiving my sister. I called her last winter and she kept repeating a certain teenager phase so I hung up. I saw her today, she is still mad. Guess she will need to live with it. If she is angry about dad's will she can come ask me questions about it. Act like a grown up. Since she won't do that, I am ok with cutting ties with her. I have got to the point I don't care what she thinks, or my inlaws or my dad. Life is too short to play the games they play. If you want to talk to me then talk to me. Don't hide around the corner hoping to catch me as I leave the building. I do not go out of my way to see these people but I don't go out of my way to see them either. I am okay with them being angry at me. In fact I don't care.

As for a chip on the shoulder nope don't have one. In fact my daughter has told me I am too perky at times. I have learned when beating my head against a brick wall, STOP. Think. If I can't figure out a different way to do something, then I do nothing about it. It is very frustrating at times but life is much easier.
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Old 10-19-2009, 09:10 PM
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U r right bluebird, life is 2 short...
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