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Old 03-08-2009, 11:06 AM
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Picky Eater Hospitality

What is a party host's obligation when a child at the party wants to know if there is "anything else to eat" because he doesn't like what is served?

I was bailed out of this situation yesterday because the child's mother overheard him and told him "too bad." I let her handle it. But what if she had been in another room--what should I have done?

I don't cater to my own children but they are good eaters. The kid in question is over 12, and basically lives on chicken nuggets, mac & cheese and ketchup. He wasn't interested in the "Thanksgiving dinner" I was serving.
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Old 03-08-2009, 04:42 PM
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Barb.....I don't cater to any kids who do not like what is being served....ususally there is something that they will eat.....my oldest was a picky eater when he was younger and knowing that I either brought him food or told him before we went to make do with what was on the table......many times he had bread and cheese and pickles...... With his child being that age I would have politely said no the food is out try and find something you like......

Hugs debbie
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Old 03-08-2009, 05:42 PM
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I don't cater to picky eaters either. When all 4 of the kids were home. I would take turns making different vegetables, etc. I always had 1 person that didn't like what I made for dinner but they made do. They could always have applesauce with there dinner if they didn't like the noodles or pea, etc.

I would just politely said to the kid that was all you had and he/she would have to find something on the table to eat or wait till he got home. Most kids will make do. I am glad the mother said something to her kid and didn't expect you to fix something different.
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Old 03-08-2009, 07:14 PM
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For me that would depend on how often that kid comes to my house, what mood I was in after cooking a giant dinner, and how uncomfortable it would make the kid if I wouldn't serve them pb and j instead. We have picky friends and they come often enough the answer is "you know where the pb is, just wash off the knife and wipe the crumbs off the counter."

But I am torn because I know I wouldn't treat the president or Jesus that way, so I guess the 'right' answer is to accomodate but the tired mom in me says different, it all dpeneds on the situation and the terrain.

Sometimes what gets me is that kids don't ask but demand as if it is their right to have restaurant choices, not! On the other hand, just like when a guest brings a housegift that doesn't fit the dinner (in a formal party) and the host is not obligated to serve it, perhaps it is all right to stick to the menu and let the child have water.

That all said, if I know a kid is picky (and believe me, with not being ble to eat mashed potatoes or other turkey dinner things, that is picky!) I would make sure there was something I knew they liked to eat. But on the other hand, I've been burnt many times by our neighborhood picky eater, who then says, oh I don't like that anymore.

Sorry BarbsZy, all I've really got for you is sympathy, not a real answer at all. I hope what I said helps though...
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Old 03-09-2009, 07:38 AM
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Well, as I said, his mom handled it so I didn't have to.

This kid lives next door. So it wasn't like he had far to go when the party was over. His sister didn't eat anything either.

I talked to my DH about what I should have done had the boy's mom not stepped in. He said, "I'd have offered him a bowl of cereal." But yeah, PB&J would work too. Although I'd probably have had the "wrong color" of jelly.

(This same child once, on Halloween, refused candy at my house because he didn't like the kind I was giving!)

My kids are just mystified when other kids won't eat. For the most part they like what I cook. (Although Luke is on one of those "don't let my different foods touch each other" kicks.)

Now if there were a medical issue (allergy, diabetes, whatever) involved, I am very happy to make sure there is something that person can eat.

I guess I just want to have something in my "bag of tricks" for the next time.
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Old 03-13-2009, 05:00 AM
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I don't think that you should feel obligated to feed him something else. Whether he is attending a party at your house or just eating dinner with your kids after school, he should be taught that he either eats what is served or he is to politely say "no thanks" and sit quietly until everyone has finished eating. He is old enough to realize that he shouldn't expect special treatment. He is probably used to being catered to when he doesn't like a certain food. He won't starve if he doesn't eat that one meal, so don't worry about it. If he doesn't like it, let him go home to eat.

I would've been embarrassed if my child would've said something like that.


When my dd was 2, we were out Trick or Treating and a lady handed her a gummy lollipop. Alexis handed it right back to her and said "No thank you, I don't like those". I was mortified!!

The lady took it in stride and laughed. She told me not to worry about it because my dd was just being honest and that she was the same type of person, that if she didn't like something, she said so. She ended up giving her a Hershey bar because of it.

Needless to say that my kids and I had a little talk about graciously accepting candy, no matter what it was, and then sorting it out at home.
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Old 03-13-2009, 09:06 AM
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I would tell them the pb & j is in the pantry and be sure to clean up after yourself. If allergies were involved I would cook something else for them
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Old 03-13-2009, 11:28 AM
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Hostess Obligation To Picky Eating Child

Since the child was old enough to know better the mother did what she felt was right. Since it was a Thanksgiving dinner party their should have been something their that could have been eaten or the child wasn't hungry. The mother surely knew the situation with the child so her request should have been honored. If the mother hadn't spoken up I probably would have offered some other options and then if the child still didn't want to eat. I would have said" I'm sorry that is all I have and you will have to eat what I have or don't eat. I would have felt bad but some situatioms are hard to handle.
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Old 03-14-2009, 05:11 AM
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Barbszy, I polled my sister, my daughter, and my mom when we were down visiting her. Each of us had a different answer and some of us changed our answers as the discussion proceeded!

Can we open this up for a poll vote on FC?
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Old 03-14-2009, 08:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ellenmelon
Barbszy, I polled my sister, my daughter, and my mom when we were down visiting her. Each of us had a different answer and some of us changed our answers as the discussion proceeded!

Can we open this up for a poll vote on FC?
Hi ellen! I'm not barbszy but I think that you have a good idea for running it as a poll! If you and barb want to put a poll together and send it to me, I will run it in the forum newsletter next week.
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