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Old 03-14-2009, 08:57 AM
DeBora4BobbyL's Avatar
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Barb, I personally believe that it is the job of the adults to teach children social rules. An adult would never come up to the host and say, "Hey, I don't like anything you are serving; what else do you have?" If he/she did, we'd wonder about that person's mental status. If it were me and a child came up to me and requested something different because he/she didn't like what I was serving, I would politely tell him/her that what is served at the party or social gathering is all that there is. I would then tell that child that he can eat it or not.

I think people, in general, tend to be enablers in that we enable children to grow up to be rude and disrespectful by making allowances for them when they are young rather than teach them the social rules of our society.

My oldest ate everything in front of him, but my youngest was extremely picky. I taught my children that it was rude to not eat what was presented when eating at someone else's home. I also taught them to only put on their plates the amount they were willing to eat. The only time I didn't make them clean their plates is when someone else piled things on their plates.

As a hostess, I would just explain to the child that I am sorry I didn't have anything that he liked and leave it at that.
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Old 03-14-2009, 10:20 AM
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DeBora, I would have trouble following that advice if I was in a foreign country and they offered me a fish eyeball! lol!

I am joking around here, I understand what you are saying and agree to a large extent.

Barbszy, if the mother hadn't bailed you out of that terrible decision, what do you think you might have done?
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Old 03-15-2009, 05:22 AM
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Ellen, I don't know what I'd have done. I can't say I'm too graceful in that situation. One time my very picky nieces were here, and I had made chicken piccata. I figured they wouldn't eat it with the sauce, but without the sauce, it was chicken tenders which I figured they would eat. My kids had theirs with the sauce. So I started serving the plates, handed one child her dinner and she just stared at it and said, "I won't eat that." I lost it. "IT'S JUST CHICKEN!"

I think they are a little afraid of coming here to eat a meal because of that.

Then I got really annoyed because DH took all the kids to Friendly's for ice cream after dinner, which the nieces didn't eat.

Oh well.

Lucky for me, I was still standing there with my mouth wide open when the kid's mom rescued me!
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Old 03-15-2009, 05:31 AM
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DH and I got talking, he's also of the opinion to not cater and offer one other thing and that's it. He wondered if the food was set up buffet style and let everyone load their own plate if it would give the picky eater kids control of their own choices and if they would eat or try something.

I know it has worked here with our cousin who 'wouldn't eat' fruits and veggies while growing up. Don't know if that was a control thing but do know that any statement like Oh just try a little and he would immediately back off. But left to his own devices without observation would poke a fork into something and lick it and try it...so go figure what is control and what is taste and if it is all tied up together anyways.

I have to laugh Barbszy at you saying ITS JUST CHICKEN! I would have done the same!
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Old 03-15-2009, 05:50 AM
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Ellen, yes, the food was buffet style. So if you don't like stuffing, no big deal, you served your own plate. Just because of the way my house is set up I rarely serve food any other way. Usually it's buffet style for any party.

There were a few kids who basically ate nothing but the homemade rolls. (You could do worse. There was nothing "bad" in there! No unpronounceable ingredients.)
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Old 03-15-2009, 06:41 AM
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oooo"! homemade rolls...how I miss them at our meals.

I made a recipe from homestead site called buttermilk bread that I hope will make homemade rolls a bit easier.

we put the food on a buffet but the buffet is usually just 2 feet or 6 feet away so sometimes it does end up homestyle...on the table...
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Old 03-18-2009, 06:56 PM
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What the child did was rude, I'm glad the parent was there to handle it.

I have 2 vegetarians and 2 almost vegetarians in our family as well a 2 lactose intolerant ones and another who just can't stand the taste of milk.

Friends and family know that peanut butter and jelly is throughly enjoyed by my adult children as well as my grandchildren.

Love & Prayers,
Linda
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