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Preschoolers & Kindergartners What a fun time in life! Time to learn 123's and ABC's. At the same time, they're leaving that babyhood we'll miss so much!

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Old 07-15-2002, 01:51 PM
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fear of shots--should I lie?

My 4y.o. ds has a doctors appointment in two days and has already started saying 'I don't want to go because I don't want a shot' He has a HUGE fear of shots probably from a very bad medical assistant last time.

When he asked about it today I just tried to be vague something like ' I dont know if you need a shot this time, I don't think you do."

Well I know he needs a TB test (for preschool) so should I tell him the truth and have him stress over it for two days or should I just lie until we are there and then just get it over with?

gina.
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Old 07-15-2002, 02:13 PM
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I don't believe in every lying to my children. Then they start to think "Well if she lied to me yesterday, is she telling the truth today?". JMHO

I have found the best thing to do is avoid their questions as much as possible until the morning of the event. Then tell him that he might need a shot today. They have enough time to adjust, but they don't lose any sleep over it.

Good luck!
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Old 07-15-2002, 02:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by rainequilts
I have found the best thing to do is avoid their questions as much as possible until the morning of the event.
Good luck!

Thanks...it is getting hard to avoid him, he asks so directly and I really dont want to lie to him.
gina.
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Old 07-15-2002, 07:20 PM
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Then he probably already knows whats up! Kids have a way of knowing even before we tell them.

Maybe now is the time to tell him you know he can handle it. Tell him to blow out when they give him a shot; my kids say that helps. Or distract him when it's happening. I always hated seeing that shot come at me. When I was a kid, we had this nurse that was soooo slow at giving a shot; we used to beg the doctor to give it to us.

Good luck and God bless!
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Old 07-15-2002, 07:25 PM
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I always have my kids squeeze my hand as hard as they can while they are getting the shot. Its a distraction, and works for us.

I also have them squeeze my hand when they complain that I am squeezing theirs too hard (like in crowds).

Good luck!
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Old 07-15-2002, 08:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by rainequilts
Maybe now is the time to tell him you know he can handle it

Hey thanks I think I will try that if he asks again in the morning. He is always trying to be the big boy, like his older brother, so maybe I will play up the big tough ninja angle (he still wears his halloween costume DAILY --but only in the house!) and that he is tough enough for this.

It will be so much better than telling him I dont know if he is getting a shot when I already know he is.

gina.
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Old 07-20-2002, 08:50 AM
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I used to work for a group of psychologists. One of the pieces of advice that I remember that oneof the child psychologists gave me once was "Never lie to your child. If your child finds out you lied to him/her, they will lose all the trust they had in you. Don't offer information freely but if they ask, don't lie."

Why not ask your pediatrician if they use Emla ? Its a cream that you rub into the injection area that numbs the area. It can be used for injections but not when they need to draw blood. I'm not sure if it can be used for a TB skin test.

When my husband was in the Navy, the base clinic used Emla on the children that were scared to get their immunizations.

It might be worth looking into!
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Old 07-20-2002, 08:53 AM
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You are probably on the right track in encouraging his superhero persona here. When my child got her shots I would be very casual about it, very offhand. When asked if a shot was needed I would just say yeah, probably and keep talking about something else. Do not lie. If she asked me if it was going to hurt, I would say well sorta, but not nearly like when she stepped on the bee or smashed her finger. Just a half second pinch, I would tell her, and snap my fingers close to her arm where she imagined the shot would be given. I think maybe she felt like it's no big deal since I wasn't spazzing out. Kids take their emotional response cues from you.

When Torrie had to have blood drawn for a test when she was 5, Iwas worried that it would really hurt her. I had no prior notice that this was needed until we got to the doctor's, so I started telling her a thrilling action story (think fast, Mom) about her current favorite TV characters (She-Ra, it was the 80's !). She was so engrossed in the cool story I was rattling that she stuck out her arm for the needle absentmindedly, never flinched when they stuck her and stayed in rapt attention to the story during the whole procedure. She never tore her eyes away from me as I was spinning the story (using lots of expression), and took absolutely no notice of the needle. The only down side was that she pestered me incessantly for weeks after for more stories !
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Old 07-20-2002, 09:01 AM
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never lie

Hi I would suggest never lieing to your chid especially about doctor visits.
My oldest is 12yo and she is my worst on doctors, with very good reason. There is only 1 doctor I can take her to and his nurse cannot do shots. I ask the doctor to give them instead because she trusts him.
With my kids I go over everything to expect and let them know there might be a few other things he may have to do. But as long as they are good I can be with them. A doctor can remove the parent if the child won't settle down!!
We also go over things that can make the shot go easier....MAINLY RELAX! My 12yo tends to stiffen up...this makes shots worse. breathing techs are good and also have them find something to focus on or even talking!! I think that helps when our doctor talks t my daughter about events outside his office while he gives it.LOL she forgts what she's there for!
I hope this helps! Wild in tex
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Old 07-20-2002, 09:12 AM
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I would also suggest never lying to your child. That makes them wonder if you're lying about more things. They don't understand that you would lie one time and not the next. I've found that it helps more to be up front with them, just go ahead and say, "Yes, you will have to have a shot (needle stick, whatever the case), but it will only last a second and then it will be over. When it's over we'll go for a treat." Maybe take them to Dairy Queen for an ice cream treat, or ask them what they want to do as a treat for being a "big boy/girl". That has worked well for me. They don't dread it so much because they're more excited about the treat. But make sure you make it worth it for them, don't pick what YOU want to do, pick what THEY will really enjoy.

Just my opinion, but it does work for mine.
Kathy
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