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Pregnancy & Birth Are you trying to conceive, or are you pregnant now? Share your stories, thoughts, and goals here!

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 05-25-2003, 09:09 PM
marie41837's Avatar
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You can never finacially prepare its a losing battle there, but make sure healthy, not drinking, or smoking, all your immunizations are up to date . measles could be very dangerous if you have never had them. The rest just go with the flow you'll do fine.
marie41837 God Bless All
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 05-25-2003, 09:23 PM
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Let me chime in here!!

First, you are never totally prepared for parent hood, my oldest is 14 and always surprises me with someting new. No pregnancies and births are the same every experience is different. Although, from my experience I would have to say that being in shape and exercising makes for a much easier birth.

Second, make sure you are both mentally ready for a baby!! Find "families" with different aged children and ask to spend time with them with you're DH, just to get a little experience, change diapers before your own diapers are sprung on you.

Third, financially, I would reccomend to live on just one income, either yours or DH's, put the second one in savings-DO NOT spend it, (exept emergencies and baby supplies) that way even if you don't plan to stay at home, and after that dear little baby is born, and you are home with it for six weeks, you will know that you or DH can stay home with the baby. If you decide that you do want to take the baby to daycare you will have a nice little nest egg.

Fourth, as soon as you find out you are pregnant start to check out daycare centers, ask to pop in on them, if they say sure, then definitely drop in on them to check them out, and see what is going on and if this is the type of environment you would want your child to grow up in. If they say no, then I would not even consider them. (Make sure and explain your situation, [pregnancy]).

Fifth, babies DO NOT need all the bells and whistles, just lots of weather wise outfits, feedings, blankies, kisses, hugs and most of all love!! Which believe it or not just comes naturally from the very first kick-whether you are prepared or not for pregnancy.

Good luck and enjoy life, and don't worry yourself sick over this one. Even with my second pregnancy, I told the doctor I was not ready, he laughed at me and said "and when do you think you will be ready? If you can love unconditionally, you are ready, all the money in the world can't love a child!!"

When I was young, I always said I wanted to be someone...I guess I should have been more specific!
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 05-26-2003, 05:21 AM
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A coworker said to me when we were thinking about having a baby. "If you wait until you think you are ready, you will never have children". We did not think we were ready until he said that to me. After thinking about it we decided he was right. Sure I wanted a bigger house, less bills, etc. But we had our first in spite of that. We now have a bigger house and the bills, well they just change through the years. We are so happy we had ours when we did and did not wait any longer. Sure we are looking at college and retirement at the same time, my youngest is 5. But had we waited longer, until we were 'ready', we would be looking at college for 2 post retirement.

If you are ready to love and care for a child then the time is right!
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 05-26-2003, 07:30 AM
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Its wonderful that you're thinking ahead. Make sure to keep the communication open with your husband about your future family. Make sure you're both on the same page. My DH and I had discussed it while we were dating, so I knew we both agreed that having a parent at home was a top priority. There are many other factors to consider as well.

Some of the things we did were to buy and payoff new vehicles for each of us. (We still have them more than 12 years later.) We also carried no consumer debt or other loans (mortgage only). That means, if at all possible, pay off those student loans first. Bascially, having no extra debt and living frugrally made it possible for me to stay home.

I also planned carefully when I wanted to get pregnant. DH was in the Navy and I was NOT going to risk having a baby while he was away. So I *scheduled* them while he was on shore duty. Back-to-back. Two boys 15 months apart. Of course some people have a little more trouble conceiving and its not that easy. Genetics plays a role their, as well as past medical history. Plus I was only 26.

Now my boys are 11 & 12. DH is retired from the Navy and going to school at night. He's here for the boys--getting them off to school and when they get home, and I've got the full time job now.

And yup, if we both worked we could have a much bigger house and nice vacations, but we both agree that being here for the kids is more important. But that's OUR choice. Just make sure you and your husband agree on the major issues. And if you plan on both working, discuss and agree ahead of time how the workload at home is going to be shared. More younger guys are willing do split the work, but some were raised in homes where the mom did all the housework, shopping, cooking, laundry, diapering, carpooling, etc., and dad's job was to cut the grass and take the garbage out--and that's what they expect. Just make sure you and your DH agree on the future. (Boy, that's the second time I said that!)
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 05-26-2003, 11:52 AM
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As much as you might like to be prepared, fully, there is no such thing. Yes, financial security is nice and planning dates, toys, schooling, etc is fine, but realistically, there will never be the "perfect" time b/c there isn't such a thing. If you and your dh love each other and aren't struggling completely with money problems, then, I'd say you're set! Do you want a baby? Go for it! If my dh and I waited for the "perfect" scenario, we wouldn't have the three beautiful children we do now and one more (last one) on the way! It may not be perfect, but it's close enough for us!

Good luck!


Wife to Gil,
Mom to Cullen, Eden, Kate and Jonas
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 05-30-2003, 12:23 PM
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Ready for Baby?

Here are the things that I WISH we had done before starting our family. We now have 6 children and have spent a lot of years struggling when we shouldn't have had to.

1. Get out of debt! Cut up all but one credit card and pay that one off every single month. If you can't afford to pay cash now, you can't afford to make the payments for years to come. Don't mortgage your future.

2. Simplify your lifestyle to the point where you can live on one income. I'm not saying you need to be a stay-at-home-mom, but make a second income optional instead of essential. You may find that you HATE working outside the home once you have children. I spent the first four years of our family life resenting every hour I had to spend at work when I wanted to be home with our kids, but our debt load made it imposssible for me to be home for quite a while.

3. Get yourself into good health. Get into the routine of exercising and eating healthy before you get pregnant. It propably won't happen after! Start taking a good neonatal multi-vitamin now. Take neonatals all during your child-bearing years. Especially make sure you are getting enough folic acid for AT LEAST 3 months prior to getting pregnant. Quit smoking. It's not only healthier for you, but can make a world of difference to the health of your baby.

4. If there are issues that need to be dealt with in your marraige, consider spending a few sessions with a good marraige counselor or your priest or pastor before you expand your family. You don't have a baby to start a family, you bring a baby into a family. Make sure that that family is as strong and healthy as can be.

5. Examine your life. Look at things like your church life (Do you have one? Do you want one? Will your child need one?), your lifestyle (How adaptable is it to a child? What changes would you like to make?) etc.

We have been hit with challanges in parenting that we never though we'd face, but thankfully, by the time they came along, we were ready to handle them. When I look at my family around the dinner table, I'm not thinking about our bank account balance, or whether or not I have a title at work to be proud of. I am excited that we have a table full of happy, healthy, (reasonably) well-adjusted kids. My husband is at the other end of the table. There is ample food, the kids are all clothed, and there is a roof over our heads. It doesn't matter that we cannot afford fancy vacations, designer labels or expensive cars. I still worry a little about college for them all, but I trust that we will meet that challange together the same as we have each other one we've faced.

(Stephanie, 12, Christopher, 9, Michael, 7, Jessica, 5, Jonathan, 2, Anthony, 3 weeks, and YES WE ARE DONE!)
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 06-16-2003, 02:59 PM
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chuckle THANK YOU

I have been reading along as people have been posting responses to my question and wanted to thank you all for such great response. I am sure I mnot the only one who has thought of asking this question, so I am guessing I'm not the only one benefiting from all of your experiences and stories. While I am not, by any means, expecting things to go perfectly, or to be TOTALLY prepared for everything, there are some things you guys brought up that I hadn't thought of- like the vitamins and all, or talking to the doc, really.

I think when both my husband and I have time (right now we are both taking 7-9 credit hours of school and working full time and working on our house) we should sit down and figure some of the things out like you guys pointed out. Figure out when we should be out of debt, (credit cards only, no student loans here!) FINALLY find a church-home in the area, etc....
Kelly =)-->-
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 02-14-2007, 02:28 PM
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IS there any new interest in this thread? Maybe we can bump it and see if anyone has thoughts here, or if any of our family has the same q'n.
Every day we write a memory on the heart of our family. What memories did you write today?
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 03-06-2008, 12:05 PM
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hey kelly - are you familiar with - its a great site that gives you tips and ideas for every stage of being a parent from pre-pregnancy through teenagers. i would recommend looking there for additional advice about having kids, its a pretty neat site.
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 12-30-2015, 09:26 AM
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