I will be 48 this year (yikes!) But when I turned 45.. and it was clear no one else was making plans, except for Fathers' Day ( which ALWAYS falls on the same weekend as my birthday) .. I decided to throw myself a party..
Let me explain..
In my circle of friends, ever since we were all 25, we have been marking every 5 years with a celebration of each other's b'days. Wether it was a party or an evening out..whatever.. every 5 years, we did something special.. There was a group of between 6 and 15 of us that would gather to celebrate and torture the birthday person..
As we got older,, through divorce, relocation and even death, our numbers shrank, and our finances dwindled..and circumstances a few years ago weren't the brightest.
But I refused to be depressed. I was determined that despite my circumstances, I wasn't going to let my birthday ( my MIDLIFE) get the upperhand. I was going to CELEBRATE my life..and mark the midlife passage in style, and with my friends and family in a way I wanted to ..
I invited everyone. All my family, my neighbors, all my friends.. I invited people I hadn't seen in years,,and some actually came! lol
I invited 100 people and 65 showed up. They wore Hawaiian shirts and most brought nothing but a smile and some good humor. A few of my closest friends gave me small gifts of these little treasure boxes I collect... But that was quietly and privately presented.
I alsed all my guests to be perpared to share a funny, humerous, or pleasant story about me.. ( shy folks were excluded) that was their gift to me..
sooooo.. On the day of my birth, I had nice little celebration with my immediate family. The kids baked a cake.. it was a lovely day. That weekend, I sent the kids to stay with a sitter for the night, and Dh and I transformed my back yard into a TIKI lounge. I had cooked for three days, and hung raffia and lights everywhere.
My BD is in June, so the kid's swing set became the tiki bar, and the porch became the food stations. I ordered Hula Hoops and plastic Leis and sunglasses from Oriental Trading Post. I got colorful decorated straws and sparklers and my BD cake was a "sponge Bob" cake. I rented tables, chairs and a borrowed a car-port tent from a neighbor. We decorated the tables with rafia skirts and floating candles.. A neighbor brought over some (illegal) but safe fireworks.. ( I live on the border of some state-owned Corn fields, so ther was plenty of room for the night to glow..
It was amazing. It was a kid-free zone, So we all got to kick-back and relax. I hadn't done that in 12 years!! I had a blast playing hostess. My brother bartended.. I got some awesome cd's tht were perfect for the evening ( beachboys, 60's music, and some tiki and hawaiian music too) ..
Listening to everyone share stories.. family, friends from school, work, the neighbors, old boyfriends, ambulance corps buddies, people from all the aspects of my lie=fe.. it was so fulfilling.. It was wonderfully worth it.
Two days later I injured my back very badly,,and I was laid up for several months. ( That's when I found FC, BTW!) Ithink if I didn't have the memory from that party to hold onto, I wouldn't have made it through that injury..
Having that party was the best thing I could have done. It was such a wonderful gift that I gave myself!!
Obviously, don't think that it's tacky to host a b'day party for yourself.. IF you know why you are doing it.
For me it was obvious.. I was ushering my midlife crisis in one door, and out the other ! lolol.. or so I thought. ..
Anyway, whatever you decide, go with it... and when yur birthday does come.. enjoy it!!
