teenage and formal dances

crazyfox44 · #1 (**permalink**) 04-22-2006, 10:37 AM

my daughter is 14 in 8th grade they have recently started what is known as formal dances (meaning something else to take our money) anyway she tells me that it is scheedued for june and would like to go i personally think that it should be reserved for jr. and sr, like when i was in school but my problem is if i let her go to this what is next there will be nothing to forward to in hifg school but at the same time is it really worth the hassle at home not to let her go

Peppergirl · #2 (**permalink**) 04-22-2006, 02:22 PM

Dances are so wonderful. We have 1 child, a son. We have encouraged him to join in and be a part of his HS experience. (Both DH and I had to work FT during our HS years to make ends meet.) We are both very involved with the School System in our area and really have enjoyed watching our Son grow into a wonderful man.
In less that 2 months School and HS involvement with supervision will be over and adult life will begin. We both feel that DS's involvement with dances and extracurricular activities has proven to benefit his social acceptance and social abilities in such a positive way. It's sad to see it come to an end.

ellenmelon · #3 (**permalink**) 04-23-2006, 05:06 AM

Our middle school discourages 'dates' and long dresses (for costs), but they do have 7th/8th grade dances. Oldest dd wouldn't go but youngest does and she has had so much fun!

It is different now than we were in school. Friends go with friends, girls go stag, they just like to get together and it is nice to have the chaperones. Look at it as Mom's night off!

trekmom · #4 (**permalink**) 04-28-2006, 11:24 AM

I went to my 8th grade dance-formal because my friends and I wanted to go. It was the only dance I attended-didn't even go to my senior prom-might have if someone had asked me, but I didn't date in school. I enjoyed my 8th grade dance,didn't actually dance though, just looked around the school surprising couples in dark corners and stuff.
My girls had afterschool dances in middle school and the dances in high school. They went to a few but not all. My oldest didn't attend her senior prom, but did go to her bf's senior prom a year later. My middle dd went to her senior prom with her cousin and a couple other girl friends, because her bf wouldn't dress up for the event. My youngest graduated 1/2 year early and didn't go to the prom because she didn't have a date and she wouldn't go with her friends without one-her best friend came by the house with her date though so we could get some pics of them.
Dances are a ritual and helps boys and girls to get used to each other outside the formal school setting.

sweetnell3 · #5 (**permalink**) 04-28-2006, 01:28 PM

Our middle school here has dances for 6th,7th,and 8th. there is about 3or 4 a year. In high school they have homecoming dance each year, the only formal dances are jr.-senior proms.

navywife · #6 (**permalink**) 04-28-2006, 09:40 PM

My oldest went to an 8th grade formal dance. Her dress was not quite "prom formal", she wore the dress that she had worn to a wedding the month before. We fixed her hair and makeup at home. She wore dressy sandels.

For her Jr Prom this year, I took her to have her hair and makeup done etc. So this was more special.

Lifestar · #7 (**permalink**) 04-29-2006, 12:51 PM

My DD's 8th grade graduating class had a dance at the end of the year. It was held in the Gym.. It was more formal that the regular class dances held throughout the year. Some girls wore long dresses.. some boys wore suits. Limos were forbidden on school property, and parents had to sign their kids in and out of the building. It was innocent and festive and a great way to end the middle school years before heading off the the new world of HS.

(What I have never understood is the Jr. prom in 11th grade... Why have a Jr prom and a Sr. prom the following year??.. Can anyone expalin that insanity to me?? )

navywife · #8 (**permalink**) 04-29-2006, 05:11 PM

My school had a Jr/Sr Prom. The Jr's planned and held the Prom for the Sr's.

ellenmelon · #9 (**permalink**) 04-29-2006, 06:15 PM

Oh, every grade in our school has an end of year dance. Last week was the Junior Prom. Next Friday is the 9th/10th grade dance. And in a few weeks is the Senior Prom and All Night Party (heavily chaperoned and welcomed by all). I think it is just nice to dress up and go out and dance and have a different kind of fun than movies/etc with your friends and classmates.

I got talking with one of the dress store clerks and she said at her school, the prom was first in the auditorium. It was decked out in flowers and bowers and each student got to promenade across the stage in their finery to music and stuff. She said grandparents and parents and all were in the audience clapping and taking pictures. Then they all loaded into buses and went to the gym (at another location) for the dance part. She said it was fun.

Melanie · #10 (**permalink**) 05-01-2006, 06:42 AM

My sons (now both in high school) went to their 8th grade end-of-year dance. At this age, they tend to go with their groups of friends and just hang out and have a good time. These dances are well chaperoned. I don't think it would be a good idea to forbid your daughter from going to this. A good rule of thumb for parents of teens is "pick your battles". There are SO many things you could "fight" with your teen about...if it's something that isn't harmful to themself or others, then it's usually not worth fighting about. Save your battle for the important things such as sex, drugs, and alcohol. Just my two cents. :-)

~Melanie