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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 11-21-2005, 11:44 AM
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Adhd

I know it's all but impossible to cut all the stuff out unless you can do all your own wholefoods cooking and pack his lunch and not allow him to have treats from others.
I certainly can't do it but I do try to limit DS
consumption as much as possible.
The best we can do is to do our best.

Robin
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 01-23-2007, 04:21 AM
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Hello My name is Tracy and i have a adhd child .He's 13 and a real handful . He was doing so awful in Webster that i had him transfered . He goes to merril now witch he hates .I feel he might not do better.I have a prob .He has webster tshirts and sweat shirts and a sweatshirt that had a cigeret on it .I told him not to wear it but he did anyway .What a way to start a new school . I want to give up on him he never listens .
Well he got in trouble last summer well he going to court now . he just want to do what he wants Can anyone get through to him i really hope so .
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 01-23-2007, 04:57 AM
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Tracy, The only thing I can tell you is to reinforce your rules and have consequences that have something to do with the broken rule or misbehavior. i.e. Playing music too loud after being told about it: lose that piece of equipment for a length of time. Swearing: pay a $ price for each offense into a "swear bank", not taking care of clothes: Don't give 'em back to him - works good with clothes they really like., etc. Grounding does not work - it grounds you too! My one daughter with same problems was underage drinking at 15. I wouldn't even let her close the door on the bathroom, bedroom, or go anywhere alone 'cause "you obviously are too immature to make good choices". I made her go every-where with me and I mean I wouldn't even let her stay in the car without me! The phychol. said that was great. Sounds extreme, but, it works. I told her if she skipped one more day of school that I would go with her to EVERY class.....dressed in tight capri pants, overly done make-up, chewing a wad of gum, wearing a tight tee with her picture saying, "dis in my little girl, Andrea!" She said I wouldn't...I got out some clothes and showed them to her! LOL I would have followed through with it, too. She was smoking off of our apt. balconey (we don't smoke) and throwing the buts out onto the ground level. When my DH heard about it from mantainence, he made her clean it up...2nd offense, he cleaned it up...butts, grass, gravel and all ...and put it in her bed & on her pillow and covered it up with the spread. Boy was she mad. Got the point, though.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 01-23-2007, 06:44 AM
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Fluffy, you have 2 options or 3 if you want to combine them, which I would suggest. First, you could put him on an ADHD medication, which will change his brain and slow him down as well as his thinking. The other option, which I am a big believer is behavior modification. It would be good for you and for your DS to seek a therapist who is experienced in ADD/ADHD who can give you pointers on some ways to modify his behavior. If behavior modification alone doesn't work, then you can do the med plus behavior modification. Also, many bookstores have some good books on the subject that might be of benefit to you. However, the clock is ticking. He is 13 years old and getting to the age when he will be extremely difficult to deal with. Children with ADD/ADHD tend to be impulsive and drugs and alcohol are things they tend to be attracted to. One more thing, if it were me, I would throw the ciggy tee away while he is gone if you do not want him wearing it. You are the parent and you should be in control of what he does, wears, eats, hangs out with, and so on. The law does not require you to give him a car, a phone, a play station, and so on. If he doesn't mind, take away his priviledges. However, he does need something to do with the energy. Good luck.
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 01-23-2007, 07:48 AM
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Thumbs up Adhd

Hi,
I am the mother to three children. Both of my sons have issues. My oldest is 12 and the younger is almost 9. My oldest is Bipolar and ADHD with some sensory concerns.
My youngest is ADD.
My oldest is medicated my youngest is not.
I personally think it has much to do with the child. There is a big difference in my medicated son when he is not on his meds. It was a hard decision but I am SO glad we tried them. He participated in Boy Scouts, Church activites and makes the A/B honor roll at school. Without the meds I don't think this would be possible for him.
My ADD son does well without them and we just use behavior modification for him.
Both boys have had several types of tests done. They both are very smart and have good test scores. Their IQ is very good.
If you haven't done so ask for testing from the school It has to be a formal written request and explain why you want it. It will show strnghts and weaknesses and areas to focus on and any other concerns.
Find a good and I stress good counselor to work with. Not one who asks "and how does tha make you feel" and blah blah blah. I mean one that really cares and really gets to know your son. It may take a bit of doing. We went through several before finding a good one.
There is help and hope. Don't give up.
ONe thing to do also is to lay down some rules and consequences. Do this before hand.
If they backtalk them they know this will happen upfront.... then follow through. If they
don't do a chore then follow up on that chosen consequence. Let them help in making some of the consequences. Playing the music too loud loses the boombox for two days.... etc. They know upfont what will happen before it happens so they can't say it isn't fair. Decide before hand what is too loud. This method only works when you have certain things in place.
Be consistant.
I also have a 13 yo daughter. No issues but plenty of hormones....She is a straight A student and a member of the Jr National Beta Team. Cadete Girl Scout etc. I use the same type rules for her to deal with the hormones which are running rampant at the moment.
Good Luck and don't give up!
Robin
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 01-23-2007, 10:38 AM
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HI my 14 yo son has adhd he is very smart but he always got bad grades in school he was stealing breaking the rules did whatever he wanted. We went for counselling it got worse it got to the point we were at the end of our rope we got the courts involed .We put him away in a shealter and said he couldn't come home until he was willing to stop the things he was doing.It was the hardest thing to go through . HE told us he hated us he liked it better at the home. After 15 days he was begging to come home . The judge put him on probation for a year. we had to go through counselling again. IT was rough in the beginging but nothing like it was. HE is now a high honor roll student he is fun to be around he dosen't steal . he dosen't listen all the time but who does .IT was the hardest thing we did but the the wright thing.
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 01-23-2007, 03:33 PM
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Lisa, congrats on getting through the difficult decision that you made. I am glad that he is doing so well now.
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 01-23-2007, 04:09 PM
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Debora, so are we thank you.
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 01-24-2007, 06:56 AM
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Hi,
My Name Is Gena And I Have Three Kids. My Four Year Old Was Kicked Out Of Preschool When He Was Three Because Of His Hyperness And He Was Hitting And Spitting And Kicking. I Quit My Job The Following January And Worked Hard With Him For A Month... I Got Him To Count To Twenty And Do His Entire Abc's; It Was Very Hard And Frustrating. Everytime I Tried To Work With Him It Just Became That Much Harder. We Took Him To A Doctor And Asked About Add, Cause I Didn't Want Him On Medication If Possible. The Doctor Said He Make A Referal For A Psychologist, But He Said Lots Of Children Go Through This At This Age And Some Grow Out Of It. Then My Mother In-law Told Me She Had Signed Him Up For Testing For Special Ed. I Was Thinking My Kid Isn't Handicapped; He's Just Out Of Control Behavior Wise. I Patiently Went Ahead And Had Him Tested Cause I Figured This May Be An Easy Way For Him To Get Into School. And May Help Him Behavior Wise. Tests Came Back That He Needed More Testing, Then Those Came Back And He Started Preschool On The 8th Of January. He Was Behind In His Fine Motor Skills And Of Course He Was In The Class Because Of His Behavior Problems. I Hope This Works. He Is Enjoying It That's For Sure. They Are Able To Teach Him More Than The Preschool He Was In Before. The School Before Could Only Get Him To Count To Four And This School Got Him To Write The Letter "j" Yesterday. He Got Off The Bus And Was So Excited To Show Me! Anyways, Here's An Idea For Those Of You That Have Behavior Or Add Problems With Your Children. Have Them Tested And The Class Isn't Full Of A Bunch Of Disabled Children, Just Children That Are A Little Behind. My Best Friend's Son Is In My Four Year Olds Class!
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