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Amanda 06-11-2002 08:03 PM

Starting fresh
Over the years, as I have settled into my comfort zone in my home office and role as an at home mother, I've neglected myself. When I worked outside of the home in an office, I had a beautification routine every day. Each morning I would get up, shower, apply make up, dry and style my hair, get dressed in my office attire (nice clothes) and put on nice shoes.

These days, I tend to shower at night after all the kids are in bed, I no longer dry my hair and most of the time it's in a pony tail to keep it out of my face (why do I bother getting my hair cut anyway if I'm just going to put it up??). It is rare that I wear make up and I don't have any decent clothes that fit me. My wardrobe consists of sweats, spandex, t-shirts and jogging bras. I have a couple of pairs of jeans, and that's pretty much it!

What happened to me? I realize that when I quit my job 5 years ago that I no longer was required to apply make up, wear nylons, and dry my hair, I could adapt a more "comfy" lifestyle. But how did I manage to let myself go like this??

I've known this for a while, but frankly I don't think I really cared. However, tonight, while I sat and watched my son's little league game, I realized that I was the only one there that looked so darned frumpy! None of the other moms had forgotten to change their t-shirt (I had sauce on mine from making dinner), and none of the other moms hair look like a rat's nest (humidity does lovely things to my curls). In fact, several of the moms looked marvelous!

Is this because of my computer related life? Because my job does not require me to see anyone physically, that I can just NOT CARE anymore about me??

This was a real wake up call for me. I think I'm going to try and make some real changes in my life. I don't want to sit in the lawn chair at the baseball game and lean over to hide my fat stomach. I don't want to be afraid to smile because of the tooth I lost last month. And I'm tired of wearing my hair in a pony tail!!!

Starting tomorrow, I am going to try and implement these changes:

1) Walk the parking lot at the school while my daughter plays with my little ones at the playground

2) Come home and shower afterward

3) Apply make up, even if it's just some mascara and a little lipstick, just something to make me feel prettier

4) I'm going to forget about drying my hair, but I will take advantage of those curly locks that God gave me, you know, the ones I HATED the whole time I was growing up LOL. I'm going to get some hair gel, something I haven't bought for myself in almost 5 years, and tame my curls, try to make them look nice

5) Get OUT of this spandex! Yuk. Going to try and start wearing my jeans more, maybe I'll eat less LOL

6) attempt to get more than 5 hrs of sleep per night, that's just not enough!

Think I can do it? I don't know, but I have to try.

A cheering section wouldn't hurt ;) (hint hint), nor would someone to do this with me!

ajrsmom 06-11-2002 09:29 PM

Amanda, Im cheering you on !! ^^ ^^

I was thinking the exact same thing about myself. Since Im now looking for a job outside our home, I will have to get back into the swing of things. For the last 4 yrs., I havent worn makeup that much, surely dont worry about my clothes and dont both with my hair. When I was working, I used to spend so much time on my hair and makeup and I actually had nice clothes too !

Im embarrassed to be seen by some of the people in our neighborhood when Im out working in the yard or playing with my son. I wear sweats or shorts & t-shirts that are getting way too big for me plus they are worn out. :(. It seems that everyone around here is always "neat as a pin".

You are very lucky to have curly hair !! Im in desperate need of a spiral perm but coming up with the $50. to do it is another story so like you, Ive been wearing it up in a ponytail or half up in a barrette. YUCK !

Ive pretty much made the same promises to myself that you have. I need to get back into exercising regularly !!

I will be here to cheer you on !!! You can do this ! ::-)::

Amanda 06-12-2002 04:27 AM

Thank you ajrsmom! It's funny, I knew there were others like me out there, that felt the same way. But it always seems like I'm the only one around here. But that's probably because the other people that are like me are hiding inside their houses LOL

Well, today's the first day. It's pretty overcast, but I'm still going to stick with th eplan. At 9:00 Tony has to go to summer school, so I am going to load everyone up in the van, including the dog, and head to the school. While Tony goes to school, I'll work with the dog and walk the parking lot while the other kids play on the playground.

Then it's back home to take a shower and put on a little make up. I'm going to have to search my bathroom cabinet and see if I have any hair gel (doubt it). If not, I'll add it to my shopping list!

PrairieRose 06-12-2002 05:14 AM

You can do this!
Amanda, I think most SAHM's have been through it and it's very hard to get out of...but you can do it. It's just so easy not to have to dress up daily, etc.... . That's actually why I put on my makeup and do my hair everyday. I have been trying to wear more presentable clothes as well. Maybe it's the getting older thing for me, cuz I've been thinking about it for a few years now. Not that I always look like I've stepped out of a band box or anything, I certainly don't. But I "could" throw on some nicer clothes and be ready to head to town on 99 days out of 100. Hang in there and once you break the old habits the new ones will take over. Good luck! :-:

Amanda 06-12-2002 07:44 AM

Well I did it :) Day 1 conquered, halfway anyway. The important half ;)

I went to the school, worked my dog while the kids played and Tony was in summer school. I tried walking fast paced, but Angel is still learning heel, so I have to stop a lot to remind her and redirect her. It'll get better though the more we go. She did pretty well today. :) When done, dropped Kristen off at summer school, picked up Tony and dropped him off a ta friend's house. Brough the little guys home and hopped in the shower.

I put some make up on, used some men's gel on my hair (I don't have any LOL) and put on my blue jean shorts and a sweat shirt. Not the best, but I don't have any decent clothes that actually fit me. :p

Just stopped in here for a minute to make the update and now I'm going to go and clean up the house, have to pick up Kristen in an hour and would like to be close to done when I do.

Oh yeah, almost forgot, I even dabbed on a little "White Diamonds", just for fun ;)

Shawn 06-12-2002 07:54 AM

Amanda ~

I am proud of you!

I used to be in a rut as I liked to call it for years. It was only last July that I got out of my funk. I lived in sweat pants and very huge baggy shirts. I hated the way I looked and felt but did not care enough to do anything about it.

One day I woke up and said, get to the store! I did and bought a pair of jeans as well as a couple of shirts that were not as big and baggy. To my amazement, I did feel better. I still did not like how I looked totally but I did feel great!

You will see that getting a pair of jeans will change your outlook. People will notice and you will feel great about it.

As for the hair and makeup, I never leave home without doing my hair and putting eyeliner and mascara on. Even when I am real sick I will try to do it :p

Keep up the great work, I am cheering you on from Jersey!

Amanda 06-12-2002 08:04 AM


Originally posted by Shawn
As for the hair and makeup, I never leave home without doing my hair and putting eyeliner and mascara on. Even when I am real sick I will try to do it
Thanks Shawn! This is something I actually forgot to comment on. It used to be, years ago, that I wouldn't DREAM of setting foot out of the house without putting on make up first. Now I walk around all the time without it. My husband has actually told me that he thinks I look fine either way, but for MYSELF it will make me feel better.

Funny how we quit caring about ourselves isn't it?

jennz 06-12-2002 08:06 AM

Hi Amanda,

I wish you all of the best with the new goals you have set. It seems like there is always a breaking point where everything snaps into perspective and all of a sudden you are ready to tackle the goals that have been staring you in the face for so long. I work full time and I have struggled with a lot of the same things that you have. Until I started my current diet in Feb, I had progressively gained weight over the last 8 or 9 years. As that happened, my self esteem progressively got worse. I have always been self conscious about my weight, and as I gained more, I didn't feel like I "deserved" to treat myself anything extra. I hated going shopping because I didn't want to spend money on clothes that were in a large size, plus I hated seeing myself in the dressing room mirrors! I didn't feel like I deserved to get my hair cut, nails done, etc. I think it is all a snowball effect, and just gets worse and worse.

I think by you starting the exercise, it will put everything back in the right direction. You will feel better about yourself, you will be getting in shape, and will start to regain the self-confidence that you once had. The compliments that you receive from others, including your husband will motivate you to keep going and soon it will be a snowball effect in the right direction. :-D You can do it, I have confidence in you and I can tell that you are at a point to be serious about the whole situation. Good luck and we are here for you!!


fatima bento 06-12-2002 03:44 PM

Hi Amanda!
Ever looked yourself in the morror and wanted to runawy?
And began looking the other way whenever you saw there was a mirror in your way? thats how I felt for felt for a couple of years, and sometimes still do :( . I know how to make myself look pretty well, really, its not as I am very pretty, but I know how to enhance the positive parts in my face, and erase the wrong ones ( I was trained to be a model and owned a modeling school when I was in my first 20's, so, I should know...)
But you know when you think that your house is only worth cleaning when it gets really dirty? Thats kinda how it all began. Plus: I always loved the "wow is that her?" look on peoples face when I wanted to make an impression. Gyess one could say I got addicted to it -:-D lol. But years went by - I'm 34 now, not THAT old...- and one day I woke up in a graduation ball in dd's elementary school, the year I was president of the PTA, and in the morning we were all working on putting things together for the party, and some couples were there as well - only one member per couple were part of the PTA, so many of them had seen me only once or twice. Then, I went home, and, as I was suppose to make a speach, I went and made an effort to look great, as I wouldnt do it in ages. When I got back, at the party time, PEOPLE DIDNT RECOGNISE ME! God, believe me, I got shocked :eek: ! People said I look great, but the best part is yet to come: a small little town paper talked about the kids graduation, and there was a picture of me reading the speach. When I saw it, I could have hide myself in a hole! I was HUGE!! And the clothe I was wearing didnt fit to my body type - even the jewlery made me fat :ugh: .I guess I didnt wanted to see how I really looked, and for running away from the mirror, thats where it drove me :mad:

I'll end this story tomorrow ;-) , have to go now.

Big :* to you all,

Fatima :cat:

grandmabee 06-12-2002 06:20 PM

oh, my goodness!
sounds like me
too, old, fat,,,and do want to run away
maybe , i will get into the swing of things now

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