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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 05-24-2007, 12:09 PM
DeBora4BobbyL's Avatar
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Mimi, this has got to be difficult for you. I think I might get into it with my DD's future mil. lol I would have to say that the meal provided by the groom's is just that--provided by the grooms family. I would tell her that I won't tell her how to plan the wedding if she doesn't tell me how to plan the rehearsal dinner. It sounds like she is overbearing. Since I tend to be strong-willed, it would not be a good mix. lol

I was fortunate that my DD's future in-laws did nothing. I would have rathered they pay or something, but they weren't and I wanted everything to be perfect for her. I did just about everything for the wedding myself. The couple's friend is a chef and he did the reception meal if I paid for the ingredients. I couldn't beat that!

Wow! I LOVE the menu! Can you squeeze in one more? Sorry, I just couldn't help myself there. lol There isn't one thing there that I don't like. I think you are handling things very well! I hope it all goes well too!
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 05-24-2007, 12:33 PM
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Thank you, Debora. I have had to bite my tongue several times. Yes, I wanted to say something but at this stage, it's just best not too. The children are having a hard time of it also -- they were wanting a small, intimate wedding and now it is a full blown affair.
But then as long as they enjoy it.
My son lives on the west coast and I am having to make all his arrangements so I'm trying not to make it any more stressful for him than it has to be. This is mild compared to some of the other things she has chosen.

As for squeezing in one more -- come on down. The more the merrier. Out of the 800 quests, my son's side will only be 60 -- we took the children at their word for a small wedding.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 05-24-2007, 01:42 PM
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Mimi, good luck and let us know how things turn out.
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Old 05-26-2007, 12:49 PM
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DeBora, I'm with you on this subject.
I plan on telling my 3 girls that when they want to get married, they have my blessing to elope.
Andrew has already said thats what he will do since he can't see the cost of a huge wedding.
I never understood a huge all out wedding. Can't imagine putting out tens of thousands of dollars and maybe in a year get a divorce.
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Old 05-26-2007, 02:48 PM
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Hi Mimi,

Our son is getting married next month and we are also doing a rehersal dinner (as well as paying for a BIG chunk of the wedding!). Our dinner is going to be just for the wedding party and a couple of out-of-town guests (a total dinner party of approximately 40 people). I have enormous respect for the way that you are handling your child's wedding. The future in-laws are really putting unreasonable demands upon you, but you are handling it all very graciously. I agree with you that the bottom line is that your son and his bride are happy. It would be too bad if the two families got off on a bad start due to wedding problems. I am having a few issues with my son's future MIL, but she is a nice person and she and I are both united in our belief that we love both of our children and want what is best for them. You are giving your son the best gift ever, by being agreeable and going along with the bride's family's wishes. Good luck with everything. I know that you are going to be a fantastic MIL and your future DIL is going to love you for all of this!
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 05-26-2007, 03:15 PM
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We never had a dinner rehersal for our wedding and the kids aren't old enough yet.

Could the suggestion be put out there that you have your small intimate wedding and for those that can't fit (up to 800) have a huge party to celebrate the day, for a week later maybe?
That is a huge amount of people and I don't know that many either, I'm worried about the $ factor you, you don't want to go into huge debt and be paying this many years to come.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 05-26-2007, 06:57 PM
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Question-If you are having a huge rehearsal dinner whats the point of the reception?
I would ask that.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 05-27-2007, 09:07 AM
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Just a quick question. Would I be out of line to suggest that you put out a donation jar to help out with the cost of the meal? Put a sign on it that would say, "All donations would be greatly appreicated. Have a great time this evening. Thank You so much for coming."
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Old 05-29-2007, 03:55 PM
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Dear Mother of the Groom,
A little over sixeen years ago I married a great guy whose parents paid for the rehersal dinner. It was from my understanding back then that proper etiquette on whom was to attend the rehersal dinner is that of the wedding party, the bride and grooms parents, and if possible the married significant other of the wedding party (sorry no boy/girlfriends), fiance's were the exception, as were siblings (depending on their or their young child's role in the wedding).
With that said, My (now) inlaws paid for no more then 18 people involved in our wedding. My parentson the other hand paid for 125 attendies after giving us a 75 person invite (this included their friends, and my husbands family before we were allowed our friends).
Of course you could always do what a cousin of my husband's family did... His wife's family required the bride & groom to come back the day after the wedding to help clean up and "pay" for any table decorations (candles and sache's with their wedding date info tagged on them) that were taken home by the 500 + guests that attended the night before(this after my husband's Aunt and husband paid for a 150 wedding party dinner w/o questions).
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 05-29-2007, 04:04 PM
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That sopunds like it is/was delicious (I would have had to for go the shrimp myself though). BTW if the MOB wanted rehersal dinner to be as extravegant as the wedding itself should/would have been, you could have politely asked her to fit 1/2 the bill, or majorly reduce the rehersal invites.
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