Neighbors think I'm SUPPOSED to take their g.son to school

[leasmom]

Okay, I had a feeling about my nieghbors that they were moochers, right. I didn't mess with them, I've left them alone and occasionally I would run them up to the store or take their grandson to school. Their son-n-law lives right next door to them and has a car and he would never do this for them and I couldn't understand why. Well, when it got cold they ask me if I would drop their g.son off at school. I said fine...but then they started knocking everyday. One time I went to warm up the car and he was getting into the cold car. Another time the boy sat in the front and dd had to sit in the back. I thought that was odd. He never said anything,no thank you nothing. So, here I am with neighbors who are assuming that I am going to take him everyday even though there isn't but a small tiny amount of snow on the ground. They were walking before I moved there and walking in snow, cold etc. but suddenly since last week they aren't taking their grandson to school at 7:30 for breakfast like they normally do they're waiting until I go.

So, I talked to my sister and told her that for some reason I end up having moochers to deal with and it must be my Karma until I confront this problem head on, I'll keep having situations like this. I tend to try to slick, hint and avoid my way out of situations like this, right. So, I decided that I would tell the grandfather when he knocked on my door that I could take the boy today but that this wasn't going to be an everyday thing. So, he left and I went and warmed up the car and came in and then the wife, the grandmother knocked on the door. She asked if her grandson was acting up. I said no. She said why then did I not want to take her grandson. First of all, I never said I would take him everyday of his life to school. I did this as a favor!!! So, I told her, I just don't think I should have to. She said, "OH..." and I said, yes oh...like the nerve!!! She really believes that I am to take him daily, NO!

When dd and I didn't have a car, (for years we've not had a car, we've only had one for a year), we never expect anyone to take us anywhere. We always walked and I would never just show up and expect someone to do anything for me. I even had people roll past me when I had 6 to 8 bags in my hands and I never asked them to help me as I walked up hill!!! But they do!!! And I feel that they are trying to take advantage of my kindness and I don't like it!!!

Am I wrong???

P.S. SHe came to me and said her son-n-law would take him. I said okay. Then when we went to the car she said she hoped she didn't offend me. I said no but I never said I would do this everyday. She then had her son-n-law take him to school.

[Little Lisa]

No, your not wrong. I can see doing it once in a while but to me that morning time is extra time for just you and your child. I say stick to your guns. U are doing the right thing. Some people just need to learn how to take care of them self without asking when they really can do it themselves. Are the afraid they are going to freeze??

Lisa

[leasmom]

before last week and before I moved there. Her son-n-law once told me that she was a moocher and that they expect you to do stuff for them and so that's why he doesn't take them grocery shopping etc. I wondered cause they live right next door. But, now I see why...

[Abear]

Note: This thread has been moved from the Idle Chit Chat Forum to the Neighbors Forum.

[Lifestar]

Leasmom..

You're not wrong..

Around here, in a situation like this.. neighborhood moms usually car-pool..or they come to an agreement... Gas money is given to the mom who drives all the kids all the time.... or if one mom is always driving.. then the other mom is always doing some other "chore" that involves both kids.. like a Saturday playdate or something... It always involves mutual consent..and a sense of balance..or give-and-take.


Last year, I drove my daughter to school every day because of a knee injury..and in bad weather, I also picked up 3 of her friends... By choice.. The moms all sent thank-you notes and one gave me a little gift.. All unnecessary, but so sweet...

The attitude of "entitlement" exhibited by the grandaparents of this child is totally out of line..and that word is what nails it on the head.

I have met many people like that.. People that feel "the world Owes them something"... and if you let them.. they will walk all over you.

You are right for putting your foot down..and you need to tell them that they are not entitled to your "services" That asking for a favor can be answered Yes or No.. but you will make the decision of what you can give...

Arrogance is a hallmark of the behavior that often comes from folks like this..so don't wory about it.

Too bad the g-son is cought in the middle. You could always tell him dierctly what you expect of him ( ie: the words "Thank You" ) and that he ask for a ride before he ever approaches your car in the future... Maybe the next generation can be taught...

Sorry if my words are strong.. but this subject touches a nerve with me too..can you tell!? lol!!

Val

Leasmom i dont think your wrong either i dont like taking others kids that i dont know very well what if something would happen thats way i dont haul the neighbors kid anymore.

[mom2-4]

Leasmom, I also think you should stick to your guns.

I went through a situation similar to yours. And, my husband and I had to set our foot down, and now the neighbors won't speak to us. Which is not hurting me or my husband, but both our daughters, the neighbors and mine. As now they won't allow their daughter to play with our daughter, just because we won't watch their child ALL the time.

But, in your situation, I don't think it is hurting the kids.

[Songberries]

Patrice - isn't it funny how people can take advantage of you when you try to do something nice. I think you did the right thing. We have some neighbors who we've gotten to be friends with over the years. They borrowed our lawn mower every day last summer, and they've borrowed many things over the years. The one time we needed to borrow something, Doug said oh sure not a problem, but when Laurie found out she hit the roof and said she didn't pay good money for that just to let Doug loan it out! Geez! We just figured we'd never ask to borrow anything again. They're still our friends, and we kind of laugh about it all behind their back. I've found that it's easier to get along with people if you know what their limitations are. With you being a single mom, you need to look out for yourself, and you have done such a good job of taking care of you and your daugher, it was probably kind of a rude awakening to have someone just take advantage of you.

Carol

[stuckathomemom]

i think you did the right thing by doing what you did some people do like to try to take advantage of a situation like my hubbys ex wifes mom and dad they expect my hubby to do things for them even though he isnt related to them and now he dont see his daughter that lives with them because they tell her not to come over here or something but he has two sons and a daughter here too so he says he has his family

[leasmom]

which is what they should've been doing instead of relying on me. But, the last couple of days the son-n-law hasn't taken him so I guess he got tired of it or he's only taking him when its snowed...either way, I'm glad I did it!!!