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Moms of 3 or More Do you have 3 or more children? Often times, parents with 3 or more kids face challenges that those of 1 or 2 just do not. This board was set up for those parents to ask others how they cope with issues such as making time for each child, who stays u

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Old 06-17-2002, 07:48 AM
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Don't feel bad - I think any parent with 1 or more than 1 kid thinks this at times, especially when we are at the end of our ropes.

I love my children dearly and can't imagine life without them. I had 2 boys and wanted 1 more and really had to talk my DH into it. He was agreeable with it but said that is it - one more. Well, I ended up having twin boys. The first few years were very hard. Now that the twins are older (6) it is getting easier but now my oldest is almost 13 and I'm dealing with the teen stuff. I think there are always things that are going to bother us - we just have to ride the wave and do the best we can - it will pass. I never thought I'd get thru the infant stage with twins but now they will going into first grade

Yesterday, I came across a tape of the oldest when he was 3 and the 2nd was an infant. I almost cried. Where has the time gone? They grow up so fast and you forget so quickly how little and sweet they were. I worry did I do enough for them all? Did I force the older ones to grow up faster because of the twins? I am a major worrywart. Overall, my kids are happy, smart, prettywell adjusted boys but I still worry (must be the mother in me).

We have a very hectic household but I wouldn't change it for the world.
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Old 06-17-2002, 09:44 PM
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No way!

Having 4 kids is great. I'm sure some people are jealous of you and yout house must always full of noise, fun and laughter! The less kids the quieter but this is not necessarily better, especially at Christmas and that.
I am the mother of one, expecting a second in a week. I often wonder if I'll have a third. Right now I say no, but just wait until they're in school full time. I know I'll miss having a little kid around me.
I work part time and am going to keep my son in daycare part time for awhile, while I adjust to having two, but to tell you the truth, i took a temp contract position to go back to work for the last 3 months because I found being a full time SAHM pretty difficult and stressful. I also am a terrible housekeeper and cook!
Who knows what life will bring??? We are definitely not making any "permanent" decisions. All older people I know (my mom, grandmas in playgroup, etc) usually say they wish they had more kids. One grandma at playgroup told me to have at least three kids (she had 5) because once one moves out that's half of them gone! It is interesting to hear what other people have to say. If all goes well, my two children will be 2 1/2 years apart. I don't think I could manage another one for a few years and then I'd be into my mid thirties. I will just take it a month at a time.
There's no going back and they will grow up so fast, do what you have to do to get through the chaotic times and enjoy all the wonderful times to the fullest!!!
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Old 06-18-2002, 04:10 AM
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Congratulations! Let us know what you have.
You will be surprised, busy, but surprised. I found that "more"
was easier than one. Why? Because the other or others entertain
the next one. Where as with the first, you are the sole entertainment. So enjoy, your 2 year old will want to help out and it won't be long before baby 2 adores Sutter and follows him
everywhere!
My children (except for the youngest still in high school) are in the same small college. They wanted to stay together alittle longer I guess lol
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Old 08-07-2002, 07:11 PM
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I'm so glad I found this thread. I just found out tonight I'm pregnant with my third. However, it will be our 5th total! I just cried. I know - that's not a very good response to what should be a joyous occasion. I thought we were done having kids and had even begun talking to dh about taking care of things permanently!!

My biggest concern is my 2 year old. I'm concerned about the way it will change her life. I just feel I don't do a very good job of giving them quality attention. I love all my kids and I just want to do a good job. I don't want to have so many kids that I can't get to know them. Can anyone tell I'm a major worrier??!!!
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Old 08-08-2002, 06:01 AM
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Don't beat yourself up I know exactly how you feel! In a few weeks my kids are heading back to school, 3 out of 4 of them will be full day, my 3rd child is entering all day Kindergarten. My 4th will be starting his first year of preschool, he'll go 2 mornings per week, Tuesday and Thursday. If I were to get pregnant again I just don't know what I would do

If anyone tells you that you are a bad person because of feeling this way, then they are fools. I stopped responding to this thread because I was sorry for starting it. I felt that several of the replies here were judging me, as if I were a bad mother for stating my frustratrations and true feelings. It doesn't mean I don't adore and cherish my children unconditionally!

Please, feel free to post here, and I truly hope that you find the answer or solution that you are looking for. I am headed to the doctor in September (soonest appointment I could get!) to get a check up and discuss the possibilities of permanent B/C. I was supposed to have a tubal after my third child, but the hospital I gave birth in was Catholic, so they wouldn't do the procedure since it's elective sterilization. The hospital I was scheduled to go to (I was induced) was FULL.

Sorry, I keep rambling! Anyway, feel free to vent here, I'm here for you as I'm sure are many others!
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Old 08-14-2002, 05:48 AM
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There are days I just can't wait until bedtime. I have three and most of the time it is wonderful. Then there are those days when the kids haven't seen there dad in 4 days, they are tired of being at home and not in school, and they just plain want to fight, argue, whine, cry etc... I actually pulled over on my way into town and told the boys to get out of the car and duke it out. Isn't that great parenting?

I have those high stress days too Amanda. My hubby works full time and goes to college full time on top of that. There are times when I just want to cry because of all the whining etc...then there are mornings when they come and give me a hug and kiss. I guess most of the time they just even out. Hard to explain how I would just like to go to Hawaii and change my name one day and go to the park the next.

The thing I find the most stressful is when I make rules and my husband (in front of the kids) tells me that I am being too hard on them. Example 1) We went to the public library and I told the kids they couldn't pick out any books because there are 4 books on my account that they can't find. Has cost me almost 6 dollars in fines now. Anyway my husband asked me why they couldn't check out books. I told him and he said I was being way too hard on them and that we would find the books this weekend. I informed him that they can check out books this weekend then. I also told him that the school has rules about bringing back one book before checking out another. It is called teaching them responsibility. Anyway at the library he went to the childrens section and was going to chekc out books for the kids. I saw what he was doing and asked him to please not go against what I said. He was upset, but didn't check out the books. I honestly think that he tries to be easier on them because he doesn't see them alot. But it makes my job harder because I am always the bad guy...ALWAYS.

Enough griping. It did help getting it off my chest though.
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Old 08-25-2002, 05:35 PM
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I hope my previous post did not sound like I was judging you. I admire women with all large families. I thought I would be one of them, but for similar reasons as you discussed, I think I might to stick to 2. Sometimes they even overwhelm me and I cannot fathom having more, at other times, I think of how fun a big family can be. Being a mom is lots of work that's for sure.
Many trials but many tribulations too.
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Old 08-25-2002, 06:03 PM
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i know the feeling

Hi,

I'm new here and I am so glad I found you ladies because now I know I am normal... ha ha. I am the sahm of 3 and there are days that I'm not sure if I'm coming or going. My husband travels a little and sometimes works long hours... it can be very stressful and frustrating. I think we should all give ourselves a break when we mess up or get stressed out. After all, we have the toughest job in the world... and of course, the most rewarding!

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Old 08-25-2002, 07:54 PM
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I enjoy having four kids, it's alot of work. My main stress is keeping the house fairly clean. I could clean 24 /7 and never catch up.
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Old 08-26-2002, 07:23 AM
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Do not feel bad about wondering if your life would be better with less children. I am sure the Moms of one or two probably wonder what it would be like to have three or more. Most of my friends have only two children and a couple of Moms feel guilty because they would like a third child and husband doesn't, or they can't afford it or just can not have anymore physically.
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