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Go Back Forums > Relationships > Marriage & Divorce > Marriage

Marriage Marriage is a huge comittment, one that has many ups and downs. Get support and advice here.

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Old 01-06-2003, 03:00 PM
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Question Marriage Counseling

(sorry if my spelling is bad)
What is the best way to go about finding a marriage counseling?
Hubby and I have finally come to a point where we just can't solve things ourselves. We need help. How do you know who is the best?
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Old 01-15-2003, 12:30 PM
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I'm not sure if I have an answer for you or not. I've never been to a marriage counselor before, but I have been to a counselor before. First, find out if you insurance covers somebody. Then I would suggest getting information on each person such as their creditials and see if they offer a free "get-to-know each other" session to see how they are personably with you. But I'm sure they also have marriage counseling groups where multiple couples get together as well. Unfortunately, I don't have the answers for finding the best person to talk to. When I went to see a counselor I saw 3 different people to talk to before I found the one I was the most comfortable with and the one I could trust and actually open up too. It's not easy, but just make sure you don't settle on just one person, you both need to be happy. Good luck!!

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Old 01-19-2003, 06:27 AM
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Finding a marriage counslelor

I found counseling through my work. They have a program especially for that. It was really neat (I'm a sahm now). Everything very confidential.

But when I called to find one and set up the approval, I chose one that was closest to my office. Then a girlfriend I worked with was going to this one doctor for medication monitoring and she referred me to her also (for the meds) and the doctor referred me to either one of the two counselors in her office. And I've been seeing my counselor for two or three years now.

I couldn't get my husband to go for a very long time, but I still went. It's good for both of you if you can't get him to go. But I thought it was good and helped a lot. And it was really great when I finally got him to go.

A good thing to try is to encourage him to try a couple sessions alone. And you do the same.

Just remember that if you're not happy you can always change. Do you have a friend that might could refer you to someone? I found that to be especially helpful in looking for a counselor. Of course you would want your friend to be one that could keep it just between the two of you! ha One other good source is your doctor. They always have a list of people to refer.

Good luck!!
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Old 01-19-2003, 03:06 PM
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May I suggest that you insist on a marriage counselor that actually HAS a great marriage. Many of them are divorced or whatever, and my experience has been that you need to be careful who you are taking advice from. Make sure you're listening to someone who has what you want--it may not even be an official counselor, but perhaps an older couple, a clergy person or another mentor who is willing to help, will keep your confidences, and is experienced and on the right track in their own life and marriage. Your marriage is worth fighting for!
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Old 01-19-2003, 03:30 PM
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I don't recommend going to your clergy, however wonderful they may be. They usually are not trained in counseling, and the ones considered great by their congregations are usually not paying enough attention to their own families to have concrete experience with their advice. The first pastor we went to was convinced by my "poor husband" that I was just an awful nag!! I'm not, really!
We went through several other counselors who allowed my charming man to manipulate them to the point that one of them would just sit and talk sports with him instead of working on our issues. And he still charged us!
I finally found a man who shared our faith, with a solid marriage and no-nonsense attitude, through a friend. I interviewed him and told him what to watch out for, as far as manipulation and charm from my husband. This guy was so good my husband only went a few times, then was "too busy." But the counselor helped me, anyway, and things got better as I got better at speaking hubby's language.
Be sure you have a fairly concrete idea of what you want from the counseling before you go. If your husband won't go, go for yourself!
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Old 01-26-2003, 04:25 PM
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I have gone to counselors and marriage counselors. I have gone to various types. I found that the best counselors for me are at Catholic Charities (formerly known as Catholic Social Services). If you don't know where that would be, a priest would be able to refer you. Also, clergy is a good choice of someone to talk to if only as a referral source. (by the way, Catholic Charities does serve people of other faiths, you don't have to be Catholic)

Also you might call the United Way in your area to ask them if there is a referral service or family services in your area. They may be able to help you out.

I wish you the best.
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Old 02-20-2003, 10:37 AM
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Hi, BlondieJune...just scrolling thru here & am wondering if you found a counselor that is working out for you, and whether your DH joined you. I certainly hope so. When DH & I needed to find one, I asked a good friend that I had an awful lot of respect for if she could suggest anyone. I was floored to have her refer me to her OWN! I'd never have guessed...but I'm SO glad she knew this person because he was exactly the right 'fit' for DH & me.

And I have to agree w/the Preacher's Wife about researching the counselor's marital success! Someone who's failed or is failing in their own is certainly not the one you want trying to guide you and DH out of your 'troubled waters'!

Hoping for the best for you and your family.
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Old 03-13-2003, 08:44 PM
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I just went through counseling and I found mine in the yellow pages and then I did a search on her to see if there had been any complaints. I also went to a church that I had never been to before and during the day they has time to talk to me and they have counselors that come to their church and referred me to them. I did get lucky and found a really good one. What State do you live in? I'm in Texas and here you can call MHMR and they sometimes will help hook you up too. I've got a neighbor that got hers for free that way. I do wish you the very best of luck.
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Old 10-29-2006, 09:05 PM
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New resource

U can have a look at what I am offering. Have a look at my website and may be i can help you out. You dont need to spend a fortune in understanding yourself and your hubby ! It is really as simple as that. all the best,
Ajay Gill
Happy couples india
Enhancing intimacy in marriage.
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Old 03-30-2008, 01:54 PM
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Marriage Counseling

Hi there I'm fairly new here I'm Tina. You could always check out LifeSkills they also if you have insurance need that but I belive if you do not have any money they will work with you or it could also be free. My husband and I are going to start Counseling in April. We have a lot of problems in our marriage but we are both will to go and hopefully work things out. I wish you luck also and just take one step at a time. Bye for now Tina/Teen,.....
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