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Marriage Marriage is a huge comittment, one that has many ups and downs. Get support and advice here.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2010, 09:00 PM
DeBora4BobbyL's Avatar
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Oklahoma
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I agree that one needs to know what the other person does financially, what he/she wants at the funeral (I want red roses and to be buried with my dogs (1 I wear around my neck), how he/she did things that you now must do, and most of all KEEP BUSY! Stay social and stay busy until the depressed part passes.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 02-21-2014, 06:57 AM
Sueanne's Avatar
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Location: florida
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It has been quite a few years since I wrote this. Time to change things and upgrade what you want to have done. Might have to change who your power of attorney will be or trustees if they are not able any more.

Grand children or children have to be considered or deleted.
New marriages & properties are another problem too.
Hopefully we will stay healthy and no one will have to make decisions for us for a long time.
"The only reason why people hold on to memories is because memories are the only things that don't change when everything else does."

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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 02-21-2014, 05:00 PM
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mom mom is offline
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This is a sad discussion, but it is very important to be prepared.

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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 02-22-2014, 12:26 AM
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Location: Pennsylvania
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after the untimely death of my father, my mother made sure each of us children knew what was in her will and how she herself wanted to be handled, she changed her ideas the older she got and made sure we knew about what she wanted. she didn't write her obit, but we all didn't have much difficulty when the time came.
Ellen in PA

"God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of love, power, and a sound mind."
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 02-22-2014, 07:16 AM
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My daughter Gina knows how I want things to
be. For one thing the song Will the Circle be Unbroken will be
played/sung. It is one of my faves as well as hers. We found
a CD with In the Garden and it was played at my Mom's as that
was one of her very fave songs. As for leaving this or that
to ones left behind that has already been established. To begin
with I have very little to be left to anyone. Mainly just personal
possessions no big $$, cars etc
I will take what I am served knowing someone out there is being served MUCH less
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 03-18-2014, 06:20 PM
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Location: Rhode Island
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I am sorely lacking in this area of planning. My husband would be totally lost if something were to happen to me. Reading everything you guys have said has made me realize that I need to get cracking.
Donna Valliere
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 03-20-2014, 06:26 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
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My mom and dad had everything settled so when he passed on, there were no surprises, no problems. When my mom found out she had cancer she had my name put on the deed to the house, my name was already on her bank account and she added my name to her safe deposit box. She had everything taken care of. She even sold me her car for $1.00 so the title was in my name. She couldn't drive anymore.
All I had to do was call her lawyer and make the funeral arrangements.

When my dh passed I also just had to call our lawyer and make the funeral arrangements. We had everything taken care.

At this time dh and I have given all info to the funeral home and we have wills. I have been thinking I should set up a trust. Grandson has name of lawyer, insurance co etc. Both my children have passed on.

It is so much easier when things are taken care of ahead of time.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 04-23-2014, 05:55 PM
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Location: Winnabow, NC
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this is totally a hard subject to think about-but I think about it often. With my dh and I both hitting 60 this year I think about it more often. I say that I plan on working another 20 years.. mainly cause I can't afford not too, but I really hope I don't have to, although I also hope when I do stop working it's not because of health.
My parents did not have anything prepared before their deaths and I totally expected my Dad to die first-which he didn't-but even after Mom passed he wouldn't make a will. My sister told everyone that she was to be executor of the estate-but nothing was ever said to me and nothing was ever put in writing, that I'm aware of.. But I let her take on that chore and she's still trying to figure out how to change title of the house into our 4 names (siblings) out of my parents name.
guess I better get cracking and write down how dh and I want to be disposed of.. I've talked about having my body donated to science but haven't checked into it. I do know that I don't want a big funeral, I want whatever is cheapest, cremation would be an alternative. dh is pretty much of the same mind, he always says the body is a shell and when he's gone you can do whatever you want with the shell..
take care all,
We donít know who we are until we see what we can doÖ Martha Grimes
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 04-26-2014, 10:20 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
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My mother had things well in hand. When she had to go to hospice she had my name put on the deed to the house. Sold me her car for a dollar so I could register it in my name, have a title with my name on it and license plates. My name was also on her bank accounts and safety deposit box. I knew she wanted her funeral the same as my dads was. All I had to do was notify the lawyer and give death certificates where they were needed like insurance policy, the bank etc.

We have wills, power of attorney, health care papers and arrangements made with a funeral home.

It's important to get these things taken care of. My children are both passed on. I have a grandson and his family. That is all I worry about. I have already given some things to a niece of Buck's. Things that Robert doesn't want. And I gave Robert's wife some good jewelry that I don't wear anymore. I will continue to give things away when I feel I can part with something.
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 04-26-2014, 10:26 AM
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6 yr member
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Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 5,935
I lost my husband last year. We had talked about thing but never went ahead and took care of them. So when he died suddenly at 52 yrs old. I had to buy funeral plots, plan a funeral and take care of everything on my own.

My inlaws pre planned and pre paid there funerals. It was so good for the kids.

I plan on prepaying for my funeral and having everything taken care of for my children.
Have a wonderful day.

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