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Marriage Marriage is a huge comittment, one that has many ups and downs. Get support and advice here.

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Old 12-20-2008, 07:05 PM
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Hi DebbieB
I am no expert in your situation as I have been marriied all my life (45 years). But, I do feel you have reason to worry about your legal situation. If I was in your situation I would sit my man down and tell him why you are worried. I would tell him you don't need a piece of paper to know he loves you. I would tell him that I didn't have any work skills let alone any work experience. I would tell him that I would be in a vunerable situation if God forbid something happened to him. You could tell him you could get married without announcing it he did not want anyone to know. Tell him you are scared about your future without him.
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Old 12-20-2008, 07:22 PM
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I am not an expert in law, but this is what I would do. I would sit him down and tell him you don't need a piece of paper to know he loves you. I would tell him that getting married would give you peace of mind about your future if, God forbid, something happened to him. Tell him you have no job skills, let alone work experience. I would say "I am worried about how I would survive without you." Would he want you to have to worry about your future, when you would be greaving about loosing him. You could tell him you could get married without telling anyone about if, if he did not want anyone to know. I hope this helps. Let me know how this turns out. I will pray for you and your situation...

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Old 01-18-2009, 05:03 AM
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I am worried about the depth of affection and love that he got with you. By this much association, you should not worry about your future. He would have arranged everything for your future. Words of love will not lead future life. You need to act fast by taking advice from lawyer.
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Old 05-31-2009, 02:53 AM
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We've been together for about 10 years, married for almost 9 of those. We had some real wobbles in the first 4/5 years of our marriage but after we both learned to live together and be accepting of who we were both growing into (we got married very young, after a very short time together) it's just gone from strength to strength.

I think I'm quite a feisty person. My secret to a happy marriage has been to learn to let the small things go. Yeah he bugs me sometimes, but it's usually not a big deal and causing an arguement over it would just upset everyone. So I have learnt to honestly and calmly say my peice, listen to his side and move on from it.

Other than that I think we're still learning! LOL I might have more tips in a few more years time... Which someone told me was strange the other day, that we learn more and more about each other as the days pass. But I guess I just don't see that. I mean, we're all changing and developing all the time and we face new challenges every day even if they're only small...
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Old 05-31-2009, 06:30 AM
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June 15th will make 30 years for me. We had our struggles when we first got married as we were trying to learn our own house rules rather than the ones he grew up with or the ones I grew up with. I think that is normal. I do believe the key is hanging in there no matter what, unless there is spousal abuse, rape, and so on. Right now we are going through a rough period due to a situation with our grown DD. I have always been the disciplinarian and he has refused to do any of that. He is now learning how much power his word have with his daughter. He actually thought our jobs as parents were finished once the children became adults.

As for living together without benefit of marriage, courts will NOT be on your side if he should pass away. No marriage license, then you are not entitled to the benefits the state has for wives. The blood relatives will have more entitlement than you. I think the only thing you have left to get is that piece of paper. The only one who cares about it are the courts in the event of a death or separation.
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Old 05-31-2009, 07:06 AM
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DebiB, You should get married just in case he gets sick or something because if you're not you have no legal right to know anything or make any decisions (sp) on his behalf.

It happened to our neighbors they lived together for years and then Mac got sick and the hospital wouldn't give Leila any info because she was not the spouse. So they got married!
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Old 06-15-2009, 06:54 PM
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My husband and I will be married for 13 yrs on 7.07.09. We got married young. I was 16 and he was 18 but the Lord knew what He was doing as always. Most of our years have been good but the Lord has lead us through our fair share of trials including loosing 2 children due to miscarriage and stillbirth. I love my husband and thank the Lord for him everyday!!
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:06 PM
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Today was my 30th wedding anniversary.
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:22 PM
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Happy Anniversary!!! Here's to 30 more!!!
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Old 06-16-2009, 03:54 AM
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Happy Anniversary, DeBora
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