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Marriage Marriage is a huge comittment, one that has many ups and downs. Get support and advice here.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 10-19-2007, 10:51 AM
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Hope you had a nice 11th anniversary bilby!

We had our 33rd anniversary in March and didn't do much special. I always try to plan the two of us going to dinner and maybe a movie; but it doesn't usually happen when I'd like it too.
I was hoping my dd's would get together and throw us a small 25th party, but two of them didn't even remember on the day! and it ended up being no different from any other event around here.

Now, when it was my parents 45th, I planned, with a cousin, to throw them a big party and it actually was pulled off! They didn't know anything about it until they were on the way to it and then my brothers girlfriend spilled the beans-but I don't think they really understood what she meant-the ruse was that we were taking them out for dinner. They were shocked-mainly because my sister was living in PA at the time and no one would have expected her to be there-in fact she had told me she couldn't come until two days before. She got to my house hours before the party and we kept her hidden until my parents got in the door-thought my mom was going to fall over. It was the best surprise I ever pulled. We didn't do anything for their 50th though-mom refused to have anything special for it.....
but I do try to get them a special dinner they don't have to make themselves.
We don’t know who we are until we see what we can do… Martha Grimes
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Old 10-19-2007, 12:41 PM
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Tami, hope you had a nice anniversary! You shouldn't feel bad about having to tell your DH about your anniversary. I begin telling my DH a couple of weeks ahead of time. He has never been good about remembering that kind of stuff. In fact, we got married on his mother's birthday. When we picked the date, he had no idea. He is a wonderful husband and father and I just try to focus on that. We usually celebrate by taking off work and spending the whole day together, usually going out for lunch. Our anniversary is tomorrow - 23 years! We took off from work on Wednesday. Unfortunately, DD2 woke up sick that morning and couldn't go to school. Rats, kind of threw a monkey wrench in our plans. We're hoping for some time alone tomorrow and we're going to go out for dinner tomorrow night. There's an Italian restaurant in town that I've been wanting to try out for the past few years.

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Old 10-19-2007, 05:32 PM
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I always said 2 days I do not cook, my anniversery and my birthday. Now we try to get away and be just the 2 of us but let's be real. Life happens. So sometimes we celebrate in family places with the kids. No biggy we still celebrate and it is us plus
A Great Attitude Becomes a Great Mood, Which becomes a Great Day , Which Becomes a Great Year, Which Becomes A Great LIFE

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Old 10-20-2007, 05:12 AM
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For us our anniversary is in December and it is right after Christmas.Me and my dh are always going out to eat breakfast.It is a nice way to rember our anniversary and our marriage too.
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Old 10-20-2007, 10:37 AM
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Well, we have always tried to celebrate in some way. Prior to kids we went all out. My dh had a horse and carriage come to the apartment with sparkling grape juice to take us to a river cruise. He said that was for the times we may not have the money to do something special, and when he handed me a card those times I'd remember when! lol There have not been many of those. If he didn't do something because of work schedule or what ever I would make the special meal and candles at home, something that he likes. Now we go to lunch to a special restaurant because the kids are in school. (that is the only time we can have a date! lol)
Hugs N Blessings!

The God of hope fill you with all joy and peace...Romans 15:13
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Old 10-22-2007, 05:26 AM
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Happy Anniversary Ajrsmom!!!

Dh and I will celebrate our 23rd anniversary next May. We usually try to go out to dinner (just the two of us) and exchange small gifts. On our 20th we had a wedding to go to in Bar Harbor Maine so stayed over night in a nice hotel and spent the next day touring as an anniversary celebration before heading back home. I would like to do something really special for our 25th but dh has a tendency to screw up any plans I make for a surprise so I think i will have to discuss things with him when the time comes. LOL (believe me, staying over at Bar Harbor was cancelled and rescheduled 3 times before we actually got to do it)
“Before you speak, it is necessary for you to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart.”

~Mother Theresa

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Old 10-22-2007, 01:40 PM
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Originally Posted by ajrsmom
Thursday is my 11th anniversary.


Originally Posted by ajrsmom
I am sort of bummed at the fact that I really don't think that my DH even remembered it was coming up until I mentioned it today.

I have always wanted to go all out and celebrate with gifts, dinner, going out....etc. but my Dh has never offered to initiate anything. Granted, we don't have the money to be extravigant but I think that he could think up something. I have even mentioned this to him but year after year, it seems like it doesn't change much

The last couple of years I've pretty much come to realize that there isn't going to be a big celebration so I just buy a card, usually cook dinner and make a special dessert.

Any suggestions or advice for me?

LOL! My DH just "doesn't" remember anything - even Christmas!! So I do it all. If I want to go out, I make the reservations, tell him , and off we go! If I want a present for anniversary, birthday or Christmas, I get what I want and then tell him what he got me!!! After all, I'm the one who wants them, not he!

He will NEVER be a "candy and flowers" kind of guy, so if I want them, I get them. He is wonderful in other ways, and there isn't anything about him that I would "trade" for his being a "candy and flowers" guy. I realized shortly after I married him that this was "who" he was, and there was no point in trying to change him. I love him "warts and all," and I don't "put up" with him, I embrace him with all his quirks.

Originally Posted by ajrsmom
I don't want to make it sound as if he is a bad person...he's not. He is a really good husband and father.....but I think that it's time that he realizes that it takes more than just s*x for celebrating our anniversary.
Of course, I like s*x for celebrating nearly anything! LOLOL! Luckily, that's just fine with him!

More seriously, think about what I said above. Marriage is hard enough for most people without adding stuff that truly is the "trimmings." If you just "do it" for a few years, he'll probably get the idea and surprise you - like my DH finally did for our 29th anniversary. (Then, he didn't do anything at all for our 30th!! Go figure!!)


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Old 10-22-2007, 02:46 PM
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I'm lucky my dh has an amazing memory, majority of the time that is wonderful sometimes it can be a pain LOL
He remembers all our birth dates in the family. He is also a guy that brings me things "he thinks I'd like" just for the heck of it, anything from a set of pliers to a bunch of flowers.

As long as the memory is there for the day, the date is not always a necessity.

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