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Marriage & Divorce Whether you are happily married or have been divorced for quite some time, this forum covers plenty of relationship issues.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 07-09-2012, 10:55 AM
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The next thing then you might look into would be with your local health department. I live in a very small rural area and even we have one of those! lol They may know of some either free or low cost (or you may qualify for some assistance). It would be worth checking into. Good Luck!
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 08-06-2012, 07:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebird View Post
I don't think he wants anything but a clean house, clothes and food on the table. I told him I am a wife not a slave. He treats the kids the same. The limbo is really hard on me lately. the crying has started, I am up for hours after the kids go to bed crying. I want a reason this all happened ... besides the fact he is lazy. I think the only thing he wants is the fact he is married. Or he enjoys it when I fall apart. Who knows?

No I don't know of any groups. I live in a small town so I don't know if I would be comfortable in a group here. Gossip.
I was once in those shoes you are walking in right now. First, know that like making the decision to get married, or have kids, or buy a house, getting a divorce is neither convenient or easy. You will absolutely know the time is right when you cannot abide his presence any longer. If that time is now, I implore you to quit making excuses for him (and possibly yourself) and tell him to get out! Know that you are not alone in your fear, there have been many women who have been terrified of what the future holds and still follow through with the divorce. I was one of them. I hadn't really held a job in 10 years. I had only a few college credits, and no idea of how I was going to support my kids. I cried every single day from the moment I told him I wanted out until the moment I realized it was all over. Getting dovorced was the scariest experience of my life, and yet here I am 4 1/2 years later thriving. You can do this.

If you want to chat feel free to contact me, I am more than happy to be a source of support for you and share my own stories of how I got through the scary stuff. Good luck to you!
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 08-07-2012, 02:49 AM
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Connie, check with your state's Job & Family Services to apply for food stamps, medical and cash assistance for you and the kids. Your county also may have services to help too with utilities, etc.

It is a temporary situation that will get better so accept what help you can get at this time.

Roberta
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Old 08-07-2012, 05:23 AM
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Thanks I am looking into all of the information. Getting paperwork in order too. Funny since he knows I am serious, I had a huge meltdown that lasted about six days, he is being the man I married. I am not reading much into this. I will enjoy it now. We are talking too. I don't know if it will last so I am still making plans.
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Old 08-10-2012, 08:05 AM
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Connie, am I wrong or is your husband bi-polar?? Couldn't really remember right off.
Reason I ask is that my dd#2's bf has been diagnosed as bi-polar and has started meds for this. He talked my dd into staying to see if the meds will help things between them. -
We were set to bring her, the boys and their stuff home with them yesterday and she changed her mind in mid stream. If I hadn't been at work and had been able to talk to her I would have told her to get into the truck and get down here. I don't feel that he's going to change much with the meds and she keeps realizing that things aren't going to work but then decides to stay a while more.
I know that she's staying mainly so she can keep contact with their son, but she also has to think about herself and the two older boys. I want nothing except for them all to be happy and I know it can work with some people, but others just don't understand they have to stay on their meds to be with other people.
I will continue keeping you and family in my prayers -that things work out the way they need to for everyone to be happy and safe..
take care, Pam (aka trekmom)
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Old 08-10-2012, 08:33 AM
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Yes he is bipolar. Funny thing is right now the problems are bipolar problems... the problems are he is a selfish person. IMHO bipolars are very selfish and don't give a damn about anyone but themselves.
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Old 08-11-2012, 03:11 PM
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Yes, my dd's bf is very selfish and very controlling, I keep praying that things will work out for her the way God wants it, but I just hope she's open to seeing the way things really are if she's not supposed to be with him.. take care
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Old 10-09-2012, 10:00 AM
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Some other stuff came up. Bottom line is he is acting like a child. He wants to run away, and has. He wants his way all the time. I have been able to take a step back and see what is going on. The hard crying everyday has stopped. I tried to talk about what he did yesterday which was stupid. He knows why he refuses to admit to it. I did ask him what his mother did to him to cause him to have so many mommy issues. He refused to tell me. I am stupid for trying to talk to him. This marriage is over. I told him today I will file for divorce in the spring. Not to hurt him or because I am angry. Because I want a divorce. I am trying to figure out if I want separate bedrooms. Right now I don't know. I did tell him this is what you have done. It hurts me and I don't want to be a part of that anymore. I have admitted to myself and to him that he made a mistake in marrying me. His mom had someone else picked out for him. Yes this day in age she did. She didn't with any of the other kids but she did with him. She was right too. That gal would have been a good mommy wife for him. I do think he will find some gal who will be a mommy wife and get married right away. That hurts. I can't look the other way anymore.
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Old 10-09-2012, 11:29 AM
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I'm sorry for your pain Connie but you can now start moving forward with your plans for you and the kids well being.

Roberta
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Old 10-09-2012, 11:53 AM
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I will be okay. It will be hard to live together until I can file next spring. In a way I hate it. But as much as I hate what he has done I think he hates himself too. Too bad he refuses to man up and face his demons.

Oh and I need time to figure out what I want. From now on it is all about me. Not him, not the marriage..... for once it is about what I want.
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Last edited by bluebird; 10-09-2012 at 12:06 PM.
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